Warning: Crude Sexual Humour

[Missy]

Funny Sex Facts:

Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burnes 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent.........................12 cal
without......................187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands..........................8 cal
With one hand.........................12 cal
With mouth.............................85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ........................... 6 cal
soft..........................315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target...................8 cal
Finding G spot ......................92 cal
I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

Entry
Holding her..................12 cal
On the floor.................8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary..........................358 cal
Doggy...........................316 cal
69 lying...............................286 cal
69 standing.............................512 cal
Italian hanger.........................912 cal

Orgasm
Real................................112 cal
Faking................................315 cal

After "O"
Lying in Bed............................18 cal
Hop off the bed............................36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
Rushing.........................98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
Heard her dad/2 yr old baby sista at the door.............1942 cal

[Trying4Thin]

Um I dont know if I am supposed to laugh uncontrollably or delete the post for "profanity"...or what.

Who actually calculates this stuff???
1,942 calories...HA!

[Trying4Thin]

I just had an idea.....

A while ago Aaron asked for ideas on a new contest he could run. I had been thinking that whoever could come up with the most original idea for an exercise (cardio or resistance training) to burn calories would win the contest. Or whoever had the most original post would win.

Missy I doubt anyone could top that without us morphing into a NC-17 site. Wouldnt the spammers love that?!

Now people everywhere are going to be gettin' busy wearing heart rate monitors to see if those numbers work!!

ROFLMAO!!

[mifsit]

Originally Posted by Trying4Thin

Who actually calculates this stuff???

I think in other posts Missy has one of those heart rate monitors which calculates calories too

Not wanting to get too crude but there are "other" workouts I do which must burn up tons of calories.

Finally reminds me of a really old joke: I got one of those elle macpherson workout dvd's and already I have a right arm like arnold schwarzanegger.

Oh well its nearly the weekend so I'm in silly mode

[helena]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dirty beast philip!!!!!!!!

[muppet]

LMAO -- You guys are BAD!!!! ( in a good way)