What is your EVEREST?

[Trying4Thin]

Last night during my trudge around campus, I had an idea for a new thread to post. I dont know where this idea came from, and or why I had it this particular night. All that matters is that it came to me at all.

How many of you have had something in your life that you wanted to accomplish more than anything, but were feeling that it was totally impossible? I know I have had a couple of things in this category; but nothing as bad as I want this. We all know the imfamous MT Everest; known round the world as the most challenging mountain to scale. Many have challenged this mountain, and few have accomplished it. From the bottom is looks impossible, but I daresay the view from the top is magnificent. I would love to know how those climbers felt knowing they had been there and back. (A Little Samwise Gamgy I know). I want to know what that feels like to achieve something I thought was so impossible that I will never forget it; and it continues to inspire me for the rest of my life to do other Everest-like things....

What is my Everest? Well as many of you know, I am in transportation and I spend many hours on the road during the week and saturdays too. It is during this time that I first encountered a hill on a stretch of St Route 82 that is so mammouth, that from a 1/4 mile away, it appears to go straight up to the clouds. Vehicles hesitate to scale it like they do any other hill, and you have to ride your brakes going back down. I now see myself at the base of this hill looking up to a top so high, that cant even be seen from where I am standing. But I know that at the top of this mountain looming in front of me; is the answer to everything that has been missing in my life. At the top of this monster is the confidence, self respect, self love, strength, and positive "can do" attitude that I have been missing all of these years. It is the crossing of the threshold for me. And so I have decided that I want to scale it. But I dont just want to walk up it; I want to RUN up it. There is another hill in the city where I live that used to beg for me to run it. I have since run up it with ankle weights on, and last night I ran up it in what seemed like my quickest time yet. It is a sign that I am ready to move on to bigger and better things.

I know I have already overcome a lot of tough challenges with my new weight loss challenge. Tonight as I climbed a hill at the front of campus, I could see the lights of Taco Bell and Burger King smiling through the trees. And as I kept on walking, they got smaller and farther away. I have no regrets leaving them behind in search for a better me. I have reached a turning point in my life. The day I scale my Everest, is the day I declare my independance. I will leave the formerly obese Carrie at the base of the mountain; and at the top I will find the woman I have always desired to be, and a high I will want to experience over and over again for the rest of my life. Today I train for "Everest," and for the rest of my life...

What is your Everest?


~Carrie

[Missy]

I think that is so awesome to set something like that up for youself. I'm not sure if I have an Everest. I guess going on the whole running thing, I'd like to be able to run on a tredmill for at least 20 minutes. I have always wanted to be able to run...I will start small and work my way up.

[muppet]

My Everest is gaining confidence in myself. I know my weight isn't the only reason I lack it, but it's a big part. I feel bad about myself, because I let myself get this way. I feel bad, because I have not been successful losing, and keeping off this weight. My Everest is to get control of this, to get healthy. I think if I can succeed at this, I will feel more confident about other things. People always tell me I'm too hard on myself. I'm always feel like people are thinking the worst of me, or that they aren't impressed at all by who I am, and what I've accomplished in my life.

It's not that people don't like me, or think I'm a moron. The opposite is true. I know this in my head, but deep down inside I have all these doubts and insecurities. My Everest would be purging them all. I want to be that smart, confident sexy woman, who knows what she's about, and has it all together. I don't want to feel like some schmuck, who feels like they should apologize for taking up space.

Wow--- this was pretty deep for me. I'm a little choked up right now. This board is like therapy for me-- making me look deep inside myself -- why I do what I do -- why I feel like I feel. It's got to be good to get some of these things out in the open.
Great question!

[helena]

my ultimate goal in life would be to walk the Great wall off China!!! to go to a place with so much beauty and walk there would be truly amazing!!! I think i have conquered my Everest, I suffered with bulimia for 6 years, it has taken me up until last year to conquer this illness, something which was very hard for me to do!! I finally realised that i had awonderful loving husband and two beautiful kids who loved me no matter what!! I know we all get upset about what we weigh and what we look like sometimes, but just because we are over weight it doesnt mean that and that we arent nice people.
I had a friend who was overweight and it really got her down to the point of tears, she really used to break my heart, One day i said to her, when i looked at her i didnt see her as overweight i saw her as Ruth, a loving wife and mother and a great friend and if people didnt see those qualities in her then they were not worth being friends with in the first place. I thimk what i am trying to say is that even though being obese is unhealthy, it doesnt mean that the person inside is not a nice one!! Does that make sense? We all have battles to fight in life and losing weight is ours!!

[Patty_Ann]

I must say that this was beautifully written Carrie. I love reading your posts. This is a very good topic. I would have to say that I am half way up my first Mt. Everest, which is college. I never thought that I would be able to say that I was a college student (@ the age of 28)...I am now in my 2nd year of school. My major is Criminal Justice and my desire is to work within Law Enforcement in Children's Department of some sort. I want to be able to work with children or do some type of counseling for children one day. Attending school has definitely opened my mind - it has made me realize that I am not "stupid"...I have a high grade point average and I'm very proud of myself for that. I have since found that when I put my mind to it and have determination to better myself that I can do it with no problem. Once the motivation is there then I'm all for it! This is the same with my second Mt. Everest - weight loss journey. I have found that the road to my journey is going to have it's ups and downs...more ups than downs. I have found myself knowing, once again, that I can do anything I put my mind to. I have done a pretty good job in my weight loss journey since Feb 1st...17 lbs at this time. Hoping it will be 20 lbs lost by April 6th. When I find that I am struggling I have adjusted what I have been doing...knowing that if I continue with the same ole same ole then I will become burned out on the whole idea. I am excited to see that when I turn 30 years old then I will be at my goal weight...looking great and feeling even better. My self-esteem has already built up from Feb 1st...knowing that I am doing this on my own has given me the boost I needed to smile each day and thank God for who I am.

THANKS FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY OF ANSWERING SUCH A GREAT QUESTION.

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone!
I am so happy that all of you have shared your "Everests" with me. It can be considered a personal topic. I think it helps to have something to work towards; in addition to a smaller and fitter body. There is more to life than just being skinny. I think everyone needs to have hopes and dreams as well. It is important to not lose WHO you are, while you are trying to change what you have been. Doing something that you previously thought was impossible is a real shot in the arm to your system, and self esteem. I know you all can scale the Mt. Everests' in your lives, and when you do I want to hear all about it! So dig deep inside yourselves and find that passion and desire that I know each one of you have. If you dont feel comfortable sharing on a public forum, or havent decided yet on an, "Everest," write your goal down on a piece of paper and put it in a safe place. When you feel like you need some inspiration, or a reminder of why you are doing what you are doing; pull that piece of paper out and read it. Who could eat a pizza after that?? I look forward to reading more on this topic!

~Carrie

[Jules]

Can I just say how much I love this thread? Thanks everyone for sharing and being honest. I want to post on this, but I think I'm going to think about my reply a little longer first. What several of you have said struck chords with me.

[susieokla]

My Everest is more of an emotional one then physical but here goes.......

I want to be able to accept my life for what it is and be content and happy in it.

I am a single Mother of 3 beautiful children. I raise these kids on my own, very little financial help or any kind of help from their Father. I have a pretty decent job. I've worked my way up in the company and have worked here for 18 years. I have a house that is paid for but needs alot of work done to it and I just bought me a new 2006 Hyundai Santa Fe that I really love to drive. I have family around me. Mostly my ex's family but they claim me as their own and love me and help me with the kids. I have friends that I can talk to and confide in and know it won't go any further. I have a nice church that I attend. It's a small congregation and the people there are nice and care about me and my children. I am healthy, my children are healthy. I'm feeling better about my body after losing weight even though I'd like to lose more. I know I'm not the most attractive woman and not alot of men pay much attention to me but I have a good heart and there have been a few men attracted to me so I'm thinking there must be more of them out there. I have no really big financial burdens hanging over my head. I pay my bills, we have plenty of food to eat. I really have everything that I ever need in my life.

So, why do I feel like a victim 99% of the time and think that I have it so bad? I know there are alot of people far worse off then me. There are people that go hungry every day, that are abused, they are sick, that don't have a dime to their name, that are lost and don't know the Lord. Why can't I just be grateful for the life that I have? This is definatly something I need to work on.

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone,
Well as of yesterday I realized that I have another "Everest" to scale. This one is much tougher than my previous one. I know I can always improve physically, it's just emotionally that I have the issues with. I woke up this morning and realized that, "my guy" was right. I do deserve a guy who loves me for who I am, and who is crazy about me. And I shouldnt want him to be with me if he truly doesnt want to. But that doesnt stop me from wanting him, and it never will. It has taken me many many years to realize that I am worth something, that I am special, and that I can do anything I can put my mind to. I know that this girl will never want him, ever. I know that I will always want him, forever. He always asks if I am sure about my feelings because he says that you dont go into these things unsure. Why he asks that is beyond me. He knows I am. He says that it has to be right for both people. Well unfortunatly it isnt right for him. (At least right now). He said that I should be preparing myself for getting married if that is what I want. He said he is because he wants to be married. Yet he can say that he doesnt feel that way about me. So I ask what is the point of telling me to prepare when he doesnt want me and I know I dont want anyone else? He says that there is also an element of faith to it. I have no clue how to deal with this. I know that I can be the girl that he has always dreamed of if he would just stop and "look" at me. He can forget about the things that happened to initially "ruin" things between us, but he cant forget that I used to hate myself? I have made giant strides to get away from that girl. I know I am wife, girlfriend material. He says he isnt lying to me about not wanting me (but secretly wanting me on the inside.) I think he is lying. I think he is hoping that we can work it out. He says he feels pressure from me. What pressure? I have been good and havent done or said anything in weeks. He also said he isnt looking for an excuse NOT to be with me. (Balogne). I dont buy the excuse because we are friends. So why would he have put up with me for so long? Even friends know when to seperate for good. My Everest will be trying to sort through this. I know that if he and I arent together in the end then I will be alone. I never saw myself going through life alone like that. But I am not going to be with somebody who doesnt make me feel like he does when I am with him and things are going well. He said that we are finally ready to start over again. He feels good about us as friends, and he isnt going to mess it up this time. Ok I admit it....I DONT WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND!!I have always been the good friend; like I am not capeable of anything other than that. I know that there is nobody else out there that could (or would) love him as much as I do. How do I get up this mountain to be with him? I am so lost right now that I probably couldnt find my way out of a paper bag. Thanks for listening to another tearfest.

~Carrie

[Big_Girl_Bigger_Heart]

I think my "Everest" differs from everyone else's because of my situation currently. For me though, it's learning to depend on someone right now. I am so used to taking care of everyone else, and doing things all alone, that to actually lean on someone has come harder then I realized it would.
I am lucky in the sense that, I can trust the Manimal with all aspects of my life. He'd rather hurt himself then see harm come to me...but it doesn't change the fact I feel somehow like a burden. To ask him for something as simple as a glass of water sets my teeth on edge. He trys to reassure me that he loves taking care of me, but, I hate it.
My other "Everest" is my tummy. My feet are missing

Lady Jami