need some man advice - The Biggest Loser Fansite Forums

#1 (**permalink**) 02-19-2006, 09:54 PM

How do you tell if someone is with you to be with you, or just using you for other things? I have been with Joey for about a year and half now. I love him to pieces don't get me wrong. But lately he seems to have another interest. He keeps borrowing more and more money from me. He pays some of it back, but not all of it. I do see him a few times a week, so I can't figure out what is going on here........... Makes want to sit with a big ol bowl of ice cream..... Last thing I need to do to.

susieokla · #2 (**permalink**) 02-19-2006, 10:25 PM

Hi Connie-

I'm sorry you're having worries about your man. My opinion is when you start worrying that something is going on, usually something is going on. My gut feeling is almost never wrong.

If he keeps asking to borrow more money you have a right to ask him what he needs it for and if he doens't pay it back then you have a right to quit loaning it to him. I don't know all of the circumstances but just be careful.

Hang in there and stay away from the ice cream!!!!!!!!!!

#3 (**permalink**) 02-19-2006, 10:26 PM

i guess i'm afraid if i lose him i wont find anybody else......

susieokla · #4 (**permalink**) 02-19-2006, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missingme

i guess i'm afraid if i lose him i wont find anybody else......

Oh, I totally understand. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

#5 (**permalink**) 02-19-2006, 10:33 PM

seems almost every good guy in this town is married or taken, hes a real good guy......... it's just buggin me..... and at my size........ well ya know

ehyatt · #6 (**permalink**) 02-20-2006, 02:41 AM

Don't worry, we all know how you feel! There just aren't a lot of good men around are there? But that doesn't give you a reason for staying with someone that might not be right for you. I know it is scary, you just have to believe that he is out there and that you deserve the best. I would talk to Joey and see if he will fess up as to what is going on. It could be something, or it could turn out to be really minor. Either way you will know the truth and have the power to do with it what you will. Good Luck!

Amazonprincess · #7 (**permalink**) 02-20-2006, 04:32 AM

Listen to your little voice. It is usually right. As for worrying if he will leave if you stopped lending him money, if he does, then he wasn't worth having anyway.
There are lots of men out there that like Big beautiful women. There are BBW groups around and LOTS of men like our curves! There is someone out there that would have you.
Don't let yourself be taken advantage of, it will just spiral you deeper into the ice cream bowl.
Hang in there.

Missy · #8 (**permalink**) 02-21-2006, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missingme

i guess i'm afraid if i lose him i wont find anybody else......

You have to ask yourself why you would be willing to stay with a guy you don't trust or a guy who doesn't fully appreciate you. There are plenty of guys out there who are genuine. You just have to have patience and keep your self-confidence high. Self-confidence is very attractive. You seem to have a good heart and a good head on your shoulders. Don't let a guy bring you down. You have a lot to offer, just don't offer it to someone who doesn't appreciate you.

You are worth more than that. You may not think so, you may not have the confidence in your life at the moment..but one day you will see that you deserve nothing but the best.

Damzel · #9 (**permalink**) 02-21-2006, 12:43 AM

Connie,

I just wanted to share my story with you, 6 years ago I met a guy online...actually searching for an old flame instead found a new one...well...we emailed back and forth for 3 months never chatted but emailed...then started to talk on the phone...now mind you in all this time we never once switch photos...or asked about looks...finally after 4 months of this one day we decided to meet...when he showed up on my door step I was so scared that he was going to see me(ME WIEGHING 315 lbs) and just run the other way... when I opened the door I was shocked.. he wasn't what I had pictured he would be like.. he was nothing like the guys that I was attracted too at all. he was skinny and kind of dorky...lol... but he didn't run and neither did I, cause after a couple of mins of him being there I remembered why he was there in the first place...the CONNECTION...when it is right it is right no amount of body fat, or there lack of on his part...can change it...1 1/2 years later we married and I have gained a lil since then and he still loves me. Don't let your weight ever stand in the way of your happiness... yes losing it it wonderful and a battle that we all know all to well but in the end big or small you have to really be ok with you.. then all the rest will fall into place!!!!
Don't ever let a guy treat you like crap, and think that it is ok for him to becasue your wieght, I did that once or twice and it is not worth it!
DAMZEL

Missy · #10 (**permalink**) 02-21-2006, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damzel

Connie,

I just wanted to share my story with you, 6 years ago I met a guy online...actually searching for an old flame instead found a new one...well...we emailed back and forth for 3 months never chatted but emailed...then started to talk on the phone...now mind you in all this time we never once switch photos...or asked about looks...finally after 4 months of this one day we decided to meet...when he showed up on my door step I was so scared that he was going to see me(ME WIEGHING 315 lbs) and just run the other way... when I opened the door I was shocked.. he wasn't what I had pictured he would be like.. he was nothing like the guys that I was attracted too at all. he was skinny and kind of dorky...lol... but he didn't run and neither did I, cause after a couple of mins of him being there I remembered why he was there in the first place...the CONNECTION...when it is right it is right no amount of body fat, or there lack of on his part...can change it...1 1/2 years later we married and I have gained a lil since then and he still loves me. Don't let your weight ever stand in the way of your happiness... yes losing it it wonderful and a battle that we all know all to well but in the end big or small you have to really be ok with you.. then all the rest will fall into place!!!!
Don't ever let a guy treat you like crap, and think that it is ok for him to becasue your wieght, I did that once or twice and it is not worth it!
DAMZEL

That was an incredible and inspiring story, thanks so much for sharing it! Congrats on your marriage and for finding a truly great guy!