Eating like a normal person....

[muppet]

I don't really know what that means. After all, who's normal anyway? I guess to me it means eating without letting food control you. Eating a meal, without thinking 'oh, this is all I can have..." I don't mean pigging out. I mean eating a normal serving size, being satisfied, and not wanting more. Not feeling deprived because you can't have more....
I swear, sometimes I don't even want more, but because I shouldn't have it, I think I do!
Eating like a normal person means if you're with friends and they decide to go out for some ice cream at the spur of the moment, you don't go into a panic, and hope you can resist and order the frozen yogurt. It means you go and order what sounds good.
Eating like a normal person means you feel hungry, and you eat. You don't reach for the ice cream and cookies if you feel stressed, or sad. If you're stressed or sad, then you are... and you know that eating anything won't make those feelings go away.
Normal people do not count every calorie, carb, or fat gram. They eat a variety of foods, and don't use food for any other purpose, except for nourishment, and enjoyment.
I want to be this way, but I have to accept that I'm not. Food has taken on a different role for me, for whatever reason. I don't know that the reason really matters. I also do really enjoy food, but lots of people who love food are not fat. And I know I use food for other purposes too-- to soothe, comfort, ease stress...... to celebrate and reward too-- although not as much. And I don't think it's as bad to use food to celebrate, as it is to use it to comfort yourself. I think when you're sad or stressed, you're more likely to over do it, and binge. If you're celebrating a birthday, or something, and you're happy, you probably aren't going to want to eat the whole cake!
So I have to watch what I eat. I have to be aware of my tendencies. I have to constantly remind myself that food will not solve any problems or make me feel more relaxed, awake, comforted, etc....
Ok--- this was my own little psychoanalysis. On the couch with Carol -- ha! I should have my own show. I just think our heads are the biggest problem in this journey-- at least it is for me. Why we do what we do -- when we know better... I just wonder if I can ever get to the point where I will be able to eat like a normal person -- where I don't have to think about every bite, 24/7, and still NOT gain weight. huh -- doubt it -- but that's ok. I can do this-- it's a life long battle. And I'm doing this, to have a longer, healthier life.