Odd question

[muppet]

I'm not even sure if this is a question or not. But I would like to know what you guys think...
I am 5'5". 195 lbs. So --- I am extremely overweight. I am lucky, in some ways, because I carry my weight all over, so I am in proportion. I don't look as heavy as I am, but it's obvious that I am overweight.
I have a friend, who I was shopping with the other day. She is extremely overweight too. But much more so than I am. I have no idea what she weighs, but she is a lot bigger than me.
We got to talking about work outs videos, and such.. and I told her that I like walking the best. She asked how much, and how often I walk (4 miles, 3-4 times a week) and said, 'So that's how you keep so trim!'
Now you guys can tell by my statistics, that I am no where close to trim! And I said something to that effect. Her response was 'Well, you're skinnier than me!"
That bugged me. I know she is fatter than me, but that doesn't make it ok for me to be fat! It was like, I shouldn't be concerned, or ever mention my weight issues, because hers are so much worse.
I understand a little bit where she's coming from. I can't stand it when someone who is skinny, complains about being 'fat', or stress out about a few 'vanity' pounds.
But my extra pounds aren't vanity pounds. I need to lose some serious weight. I have high cholesterol-- and am probably working on other weight-related health problems as well.
I guess I felt brushed off. She has made these kind of comments before, and it's always been 'oh... you're not that big'... or 'I wish I had YOUR weight problem'
I'm sorry--- this is long, and kind of stupid. I hope you understand what I mean. Am I wrong to be kind of offended by her comments? Or am I being insensitive to her?
It doesn't give me any comfort to know that there are people out there heavier than me. That doesn't make my problems any less. But I don't want to seem like I'm throwing my being 'less over-weight than her' in her face either. I can assure you, that has never been my intention.
It seems to me like we're all in the same boat, and want to be healthier. So whether it's 15, or 150 pounds we need to lose, we should all be supportive of one another.
Blehhh--- again... sorry to ramble on and on...
Thanks so much for listening. It really helps to have a place to be able to vent.

[ehyatt]

We have a lot in common! I am 5'4" 1/2 and my starting weight a week and a half ago was 195. (now at 188.) I also have a friend who is quite larger than me, she does support me, but I know she would also like to be in my shoes right now. I don't think you are being unreasonable, but we all think the grass is greener on the other side. I myself, would like to be Susie right now and weigh 170. Go Susie! But I agree that no matter where we would "like to be" that we need to support each other in this battle of the buldge.

[susieokla]

Originally Posted by ehyatt

We have a lot in common! I am 5'4" 1/2 and my starting weight a week and a half ago was 195. (now at 188.) I also have a friend who is quite larger than me, she does support me, but I know she would also like to be in my shoes right now. I don't think you are being unreasonable, but we all think the grass is greener on the other side. I myself, would like to be Susie right now and weigh 170. Go Susie! But I agree that no matter where we would "like to be" that we need to support each other in this battle of the buldge.

I agree too. I have a friend, actually my ex's (father of my children) sister but we are best friends depsite mine and her brothers problems. She's at 200 lbs right now and we have been going to TOPS together for a year now. She is a constant yo-yo..one week lose 3 lbs. next week gain it back. Now that I'm finally taking the weight off and keeping it off I can tell it kind of bothers her. I know she's happy for me but she wishes it was her too. She's all about the "quick fix" always trying some way out there diet that gaurantees you'll lose 12 lbs in one week. They never work!

Anyways, I think all women struggle with issues about their weight and appearance, I guess that's just how God made us. Don't let your friend rain on your parade. You're not doing it for her anyways, you're doing it for you and we're here to support you, forget about what she says!!

Thanks Elizabeth for the remark about wanting to be like me at 170, that put a smile on my face. Don't worry, you'll be there in no time! You are doing super great with your diet and exercising!! You should be proud.

Hang in there muppet!!!

[ehyatt]

Thanks Susie! I am working on it!!

[muppet]

Thanks, Elizabeth and Suzie, for taking the time to respond. It always helps to know you aren't the only one who has experienced something.
I try to put it all into perspective. I just try to not talk about these types of things with her. I'm so glad I found this site! It's such a relief to be able to ask a question, and get a legitmate response! Thank you , thank you , thank you!!!

[ehyatt]

You are quite welcome. I can't wait to come online each day and see my new friends. This forum has helped my weightloss and diet soooo much!