Carrie's Gripe Corner For All

[Trying4Thin]

A while back Phil had a soapbox thread and I would like to start another one for horror stories. It appears that we have a number of forum members (myself included), who have fallen victim to cruel remarks from; friends, loved ones, strangers, employers (you get the idea). I wanted to start a thread where we could all vent and share here together and leave all of our feelings of worthlessness and hurt HERE and not bring them back to wreak havoc on the rest of our lives. I know when I am upset I turn to food; as do many others. But food is also a backstabbing friend....it is there to listen 24/7, console you and not put you down. Yet as soon as you turn your back; it begins it's dirty work. So if you have a horror story or ten; please feel free to share. Internal turmoil is no better than external turmoil. If you fel that your story is too personal; find a forum member whom you trust and PM it to them. Only when your deepest and darkest feelings are out in the open; can you truly begin to heal your heart and your body. For most people, food is not the root cause of obesity; it is only a side effect. Find out what is really eating you; and you CAN lose the weight. That is why it is called a "Lifestyle Change"...because you have to change your LIFE; not just one thing.

[Trying4Thin]

I purposly sticky'd this thread because I think it could be a theraputic one. I know I need it very much right now. And I dont want it covered in spam. We all have issues/emotions and need to deal with them sans food. Weight loss is an all around learning process; both mentally as well as physically. I know we all have a story. The question is; is anyone out there brave enough to share their stories and feelings...I know I am. Just think; what you have gotten through in your life could be the key to unlocking somebody elses successes as well.

Rule of thumb:
Always be an inspiration to those around you. They need you to be strong for you both.

Be well..
~Carrie

[Sandi]

Good one Carrie~

I have always used food for any reason, if I was stressed, happy, sad.....you name an emotion, I used food to deal with it. In the past few months, if I am sad or angry, I workout..........it's a big change, but I am just taking it one day at a time. I am a food addict............(thank god I didn't ever get into hard drugs )

[FrugalSue]

Thanks for starting this thread, Carrie. I feel really blessed right now that there are no big deals going on in my life...but there certainly have been in the past, and it's great to know that this is a safe place to talk to others about it.

I think it's inevitable that when you have a lot of hats to wear--employee, spouse, sibling, parent, stepparent, neighbor, whatever--conflict and stress is gonna come up. I really hope that I can overcome my usual pattern of turning to food when things get rough. Thanks for helping make that possible.

Sue

[muppet]

Thinking back -- so many comments from people.. family and friends--- just thoughtless, cruel comments. Some passive / aggresive -- the worst kind. Most of these from my Mom, ( talking about someone I went to high school with -- 'boy, you think YOU got fat, you should see her!) Oh boy - I feel so much better know that someone is an even bigger cow than me!
When I was in high school -- 15-16 years old -- my sister got married and had babies -- my mom would say ' I don't understand how you put on weight, with little kids. I always stayed so skinny running around after them...." I'm sure she said the same thing about me, and my other sister too, after we had our babies. I imagine she said that to her sister, and sister in law---- dont' get me wrong -- I love these people dearly, but they have no clue what their little comments can do to someone.
I remember being a little kid -- maybe 9 or 10 , and my aunt pointing out, and laughing at my 'spare tire'. And her being a very large woman herself! I was by no means a fat kid -- not ever. But that comment made me look at myself differently. There are so many things that were said to me at that age, and so many things that happened to me that I don't remember -- but I remember that.
I have a sister in law who suffers from anorixia / bulimia. My mother in law insists that some boyfriend she had is the cause of this .. Could be... but learning more from my husband -- she used to constantlly compare her to an aunt, who was extrememly over-weight . "Oh, Sally is just like Aunt Alice...' Well, do you think that maybe planted some seeds? 'Oh no, I'm going to grow up to be so FAT!!!"
Oh, I could go on and on, and probably will .... another time.
It drives me crazy, thinking about all the thoughtless things people say. I may be a little bit overly sensitive about it... and most aren't meant to be hurtful....but if people would just THINK a little bit before they speak....
I've said dumb things too -- things I've been sorry for -- not about weight, but you know what I mean. The wrong comment to the wrong person-- we've all done that. We've all said things we've wished we could take back... but some comments are so unnecessary.. why bother to say them at all?
Think before you speak!
Thanks for letting me vent!

[Kaileighblue]

Oh I could write a long one. From my Grandmother's nosy sister that told me at probably 9-11 that I was fat. To stories of school.

Example. I rode my bike to school for 6-8th grade. One day I was riding and I stopped at a corner and another lady(in a car) stopped too and then we started going at the same time. Now this was by no way a car crash hit and run but I was pretty scared at the time. One of my few happened to be sitting in across the intersection in their car. Their mother went and got my mom and let my dog out of the fence and she ran all over the neighborhood.. Anyway once it was determined that I was Ok I went to school, late. My friends had gotten to school already and told everyone why I was late.

Well it all turned into "I bet the car was more damaged that you were." From the other kids.

Ohhh I've got a better one. In Highschool we had to play foot ball with velcro flags on these little belts. None of them fit me. I was so embarassed I cried the whole time and refused to play but never said why. The gym teacher hated me because of that he just thought I was being lazy. But he was a scary guy and I really didn't want to tell him the problem (think the drill seargent on Celebrity fit club but shorter.)

All these kinds of fun things eventually added up and made me a little crazy. After I met my best friend as of now I try to act like she does. She doesn't care what other think but it still really bothers me inside. And not caring also just leads to believeing you don't have/need to change.

[Widdlecuddles]

Don't you hate the things that people say or do that stick in your mind always seem to come back to mind when you least expect them too.
When I was a senior in high school I weighed 145. I wasn't a thin little barbie - but I wasn't terribly overweight. I kid in one of my classes asked me if I was going to have a tutor when I was out of school. when I asked why - he said that he figured i would be having the baby soon!
When I started gaining weight as an adult I was riding in my mom's car one day and out of no where my mom looks over at me and says... "have you realized your butt is getting big?"
I hate Christmas present when people insist on buying me clothes (and of course they buy about 2 or more sizes too small so they never fit and then they ask why they never see me wearing (fill in the blank)
Or when another bigger person lumps me in the same category... one day I was with some friends and we were talking about a new gym opening... my friend looked at me and said "well we probbaly won't join cause their won't be a lot of people like us there"...
done ranting - i need to get back to work...

whew!!! feels beter to get that off my chest...

[FrugalSue]

Wow, these stories about childhood are bringing back some memories for me...

I remember my junior year in high school, I was picked to be the drum major for the band for senior year. That's the person who wears the fancy uniform and high-steps in front and directs the band. Very big honor. So I trained all summer long and tried to lose weight, but there was no way I was going to fit in the uniform, so I quit. I was embarrassed to the tell the band director why. He just got mad at me for not following through and having to find somebody else.

Another one...my mom used to tutor kids who could not go to school because of illness. One time she came home and told us about a girl who was so skinny because of being sick. She said, "Three of her legs would fit in one of Sue's." My brothers thought it was hilarious--they wanted to know how many legs did this girl have?! But it wasn't funny to me.

And, much more recently...at a job about 7 or 8 years ago, one of my coworkers patted my stomach and smiled because he thought I was pregnant. And I wasn't. I wasn't angry at him, he was trying to be sweet, but it was embarrassing.

Sue

[muppet]

Well, this is quite the walk down memory lane! Not the most pleasant, but probably theraputic.
I have a friend who would always comment 'so-and-so getting big'. She was this 5 foot, hundred pound bit of nothing -- and she had this way of saying 'getting big', that would just set my blood to boiling.
And most of these people who were 'getting big' were smaller than me! Moron!!
And, some of you might remember a story I've told about a friend who wanted to borrow my jeans, after she had her baby -- it's the same friend. I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I!
Anyway, I showed her by giving her my smallest pair of jeans, that she couldn't fit into ( yeah, immature, but I was very young! and she was being a SNOT!) and now she has gained weight too. Carrie can relate to this I'm sure -- she's short, so every pound shows. I don't gloat -- and rarely see her. I'm still fatter than her, but sometimes I do think karma is real. Maybe I'll be 'the thin one', at our class reunion this summer!

[losethisweight]

absolutly love the thread.. we all need a place to rant and rave, scream and holler, cry and get those dreaded thoughts out of our head....
great idea...