Been called "fat" for first time since primary school :( - The Biggest Loser Fansite Forums

spacevixen3 · #1 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 01:40 AM

Hey you guys,

Just wanted to vent a little because I'm feeling pretty bummed out by an email my husband just received.
We went up to his parents for Christmas and got back a couple of days ago. Literally all of my husbands family work at the same place together, and my husband and I have worked there off and on too. There's a work colleague who is friends with the family, he's a middle-aged Indonesian guy who has no family here, is single, so he gets invited up to my in-laws for Thanksgiving and Christmas etc.

We sent him an email yesterday saying thank you for his Christmas gifts and that we enjoyed seeing him (as you do) but we declined his invitation to meet up for New Years Eve (its a 4 hour drive) to his dinner party. We also included a little bit about our plans for the New Year what we'll be doing etc. One of the things my husband mentioned was he's planning to join the gym with me, as I've been going for a while on my own and he wants to join now too.
We got an email back from him tonight and in it, he said we should come up for New Years and "You two need to lose weight, and I mean a LOT like 100 -150lbs each a looooooooooooottttt!!!"

Neither of us could believe what we were reading! I mean, we know we're fat, but if my husband lost 100lbs he'd weigh 97lbs! We're both 5'10" my husband is 197lbs and I'm 250lbs. We know we're out of shape, I've got a pretty bad thyroid problem which contributed immensely to my weight gain, it just stings a bit that this guy said this.....we're both a bit in shock....no one has said anything like that to me since high school.
I am seriously bummed out and really don't feel like hanging out with this guy or seeing him again.

*just needed to share*

Bella · #2 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 03:07 AM

Ouch.

I'm so sorry that happened to you and your husband. What kind of person ~ not to mention a GROWN ADULT who sees themself as your friend.. says that to someone?!
Don't feel you and your hubby have to explain why you may be carrying a few extra lbs. That guy is a moron and should consider himself lucky that he gets invited to spend the holidays with your inlaws. People have no idea how comments like that make someone feel. I've always been heavy but I've held my head high and never let it bother me until recently when I know I'm at my heaviest and now I know people are making comments behind my back.

I don't blame you for wanting to avoid this guy. I would too, he's an ass and not worthy of you and your husbands friendship. Try not to let him get you down. What a pathetic little man.

mifsit · #3 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 04:02 AM

He may not understand that its not the done thing in western culture to talk to people like that. maybe explain to him how upset this makes you feel. either that or he is just a complete arse face and you should poke his eyes out

Trying4Thin · #4 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 04:16 AM

And that right there is why this man (I am using the term loosely) is single. That was so rude and uncalled for. What's his email address? I can set him straight. I dont care if it is culture difference or not. Common sense will tell you to myob. Especially from a "friend." If he felt the need to still say something; there is always the more subtle approach. The only weight you two must lose is this "deadweight friend" who will only drag you down.

doriesmith · #5 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 10:46 AM

Argggghhh! What a jerk! So sorry that happened to you!

Missy · #6 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 10:46 AM

I'm sorry this happened to you. Pay no mind to people who have nothing nice to say..they probably don't have anything nice to say to anyone regardless of what they look like.

muppet · #7 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 10:50 AM

I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for the guy, but is there any chance he was kidding? Any hint of sarcasm at all? I just wonder, because it does sound so terribly rude, and you guys don't sound all that overweight to me. At 5'10', 197 is barely overweight for a guy, isn't it? And you being so tall too.... it just doesn't sound like you would look all that heavy. But I guess it all depends on how you carry your weight. I know we're all different.
But, in any case, even in jest, those comments were awful. It's hard to convey sarcasm in an email. But even that's no excuse for such comments. I think you should explain calmly how those comments made you feel, and see how he responds.
Enjoy your New Years' plans!

Trying4Thin · #8 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 12:13 PM

Sorry Carol; but I dont see any chance of sarcasm in that. Just cruel statements.

Kaileighblue · #9 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 12:23 PM

My grandmother's sister was that way. She was horribly cruel and didn't seem to realize it or care. She told me when I was like.. 12 that I was fat. A hated that woman. Some people just don't think about stuff.

FrugalSue · #10 (**permalink**) 12-29-2006, 12:25 PM

This guy's comments don't deserve a response or your attention. Thanks for coming here to talk to us about it! We all think you're great!

It may be a cultural thing, but it doesn't matter. You don't need to spend your time with people who say mean stuff. We all want to be liked and appreciated, and there are plenty of good people to spend our time with.

Sue
Starting Weight 9/28/06 248 lbs
Current Weight 12/29/06 226 lbs.