Blame your parents??

[Missy]

I don't blame my parents at all for my being overweight. When I lived at home we always went on family bike rides, or my dad would play catch with me in the backyard. We even had a volleyball net.

Once I moved out for college, I made some bad food choices, drank way too much alcohol.

Eventually I had an extreme anxiety problem and was put on 50mg of Paxil and gained about 60 pounds in 6 months taking it...so I am currently trying to wean myself off of it.

[Irene]

My mother grew up in the depression and was forced to eat many things she didn't like. She grew up feeling that she would never force her kids to eat anything. I had no rules. I think with a little guidance I would have been receptive to healthy food. (Of course a kid will eat ice cream for breakfast if there are zero rules...) I think parents do have a responsibility to direct their children's eating habits, but that has limits. I don't believe the mothers are entirely "at fault" for their children's wieght gain. They play an important role. Genetics also play a part and sometimes kids are hell bent on eating garbage no matter what anyone tries - especially as teenagers. Just my own personal opinion, but I'd have to give the parent and the child each 50% responsibility.

[Boomstix]

As a child, my mother only allowed us to have junk food on very special occasions, it was always beautiful home cooked meals, fresh vegetables and salads, wholemeal breads, and only water or fruit juice to drink, etc. My Cousins were allowed to have fizzy drinks, hot chips, McDonalds, etc, and my brother and I really hated that they were allowed these things and we weren't. I think i eat junk food now because I'm an adult and I'm allowed to make my own decisions, I'm no longer being deprived of the things I really longed for as a child.
I believe there has to be a balance between healthy and junk. Too much of anything is not a good thing.

[muppet]

Originally Posted by Boomstix

As a child, my mother only allowed us to have junk food on very special occasions, it was always beautiful home cooked meals, fresh vegetables and salads, wholemeal breads, and only water or fruit juice to drink, etc. My Cousins were allowed to have fizzy drinks, hot chips, McDonalds, etc, and my brother and I really hated that they were allowed these things and we weren't. I think i eat junk food now because I'm an adult and I'm allowed to make my own decisions, I'm no longer being deprived of the things I really longed for as a child.
I believe there has to be a balance between healthy and junk. Too much of anything is not a good thing.

This is why my husband says he drinks so much pop. I guess I'm the same way. We would have it on occasion, but with 5 kids in my family, and 6 in his, it didn't last too long. We always have pop here. But we don't let the kids have free reign. They have to ask.
I agree-- a balance is important.

[Widdlecuddles]

I don't blame my parents at all... it's not their fault that I snuck boxes of Hostess cupcakes in my room and ate junk all the time. MY mom wasn't the grreatest cook, but she did cook us balanced meals.

[Jules]

I don't blame my parents -but I do recognize how my reactions and emotions became tied up with my weight. My mom and I were really close and my dad and I weren't. Dad would constantly sit and eat a bowl of ice cream while telling my mom she didn't need to be eating anything else. He wanted the best for mo's health, but his method was all wrong. He would sometimes pinch her fat in front of everyone and tease her too.

To avoid his comments Mom and I learned to hide our "good" foods from him, stashing sweets under the couch if he came in the room or tossing a pillow over the bag, pretending we weren't doing anything. We even had a fake panel in the wall (for a security deposit box) where we'd hide food as we brought in the groceries so he wouldn't know the junk we bought. After he would go to bed was the worst -we'd pull out cheese and crackers, boxes of chocolates, ice cream and just eat and enjoy ourselves together. It was our bonding time and I began to associate sweets with love and food became emotional.

Today I still have weight problems but thankfully my fiance has discussed this "hiding foods" thing with me and I'm not going to let that happen in my relationships -with my future husband or my kids.

My parents didn't do anything on purpose and we generally ate fairly healthy meals (if too large), but they let their issues affect me and my sister. The only thing I blame them for is my genetic makeup, but it's my choice what I've done with it and my responsibility to care for my own person. Now I just want to help my mom, not blame her. And my dad has gotten much better over the years. They truly do love each other, despite the food games. It really helped when the Dr. put Dad on a diet for his health. (Walking a mile in another person's shoes...)

[Jules]

Ps. I know I just posted a really long entry, but I wanted to express that as an adult although I don't blame my parents I agree many kids are not being taught properly. I currently live in Mississippi and I've heard that atleast 1/4 people here are obese. Not overweight, obese. People here are poor and eat cheap and unhealthy foods, fry everything, and lack in education as well as resources. Some of the situations around here would break your heart. My friend teaches 1st grade for a rural school and regularly distributes items like deoderant, toothpaste, toothbrushes, etc to kids who by age 6 have never brushed their teeth! Healthy diet, calories, BMI, carbohydrates, fat.. to them sounds like a foreign language. These people and these places do exist where kids do not learn from parents and it carries on for generations.

[weaverdelooh]

Jules, Your saying that just makes me sick! Our church has a room 1/2 full of supplies waiting to be shipped to the Louisianna / Mississippi area that has literally been sitting there since shortly after the storms swept through. I did notice that someone has recently gone in and boxed thing up. I'm hoping this is a sign that they will be shipping it soon. I think it's just been a matter of finding a truck to haul it. I really don't know what the issue is.

[Jules]

Originally Posted by weaverdelooh

Jules, Your saying that just makes me sick! Our church has a room 1/2 full of supplies waiting to be shipped to the Louisianna / Mississippi area that has literally been sitting there since shortly after the storms swept through.

It's so great your church is helping out -I hope they mail the supplies soon. I hope they can find someone to volunteer to drive it. It's been woring pretty well to send it to churches in the effected areas -as they know the communities and fairly distribute the items as needed.

There are a lot of forgotten, lost people down here -and I don't mean just after Katrina. There is a culture around here that keeps people poor and passes nothing on to the children but bad habits and bad health. It's made me a lot more empathetic, that's for sure. I didn't know places like this existed in the states in the year 2006, but they do. I feel so bad when I see fat babies drinking coke from bottles -that is not their bad choice!

I don't know how or when this is going to change, but the scale and the depth of this problem is so big among certain communities it's going to take some major education and probably government help. I just hope these people are eventually helped and not still ignored. They'll have to make the choices for their own lives, but first they're going to have to have a choice available and most do not.

[bradybunch]

This is a really fascinating thread and its so interesting to read all of your responses to it.

I personally don't blame my parents at all for me gaining weight - although I was never seriously overweight, I have had food issues most of my adult life which have manifested themselves in yo-yo dieting / restricting / overeating etc that I'm only really dealing with now, but I think a lot of that is due to bad choices I have made in my own life independently of my parents. My sisters and I were always taught to eat heathily at home. Although I did have one comment from my Mum at a young age (maybe 12 - 13 years old) when she said to my grandma that I 'could stand to lose about a stone' (14lbs). I wasn't at all overweight at the time and my Mum said she never meant it maliciously or seriously but it did stick in my head and I have always felt like I was overweight even when I wasn't.