Blame your parents??

[Patty_Ann]

Ehyatt...my son, 8 years old, is extremely skinny, too. He has ADHD so I have to watch what he eats, drinks, and snacks on...his activity level is something I will NEVER have to worry about. There are time when I wish he could just sit still...lol. He was on some medication that reduced his appetite, which was hard b/c he didn't have much of one in the first place - he is on some new medication now and I can't get him to stop eating. The doctors check him monthly and he has definitely not gained much weight...I get excited when he does gain weight b/c he is so thin.

It is MY responsibility to be sure he is healthy and active...nobody else's.

[weaverdelooh]

One thing I NEVER understood about this concept was the "wasting of food". Even if someone does eat all of the food on their plate doesn't exactly mean the food isn't going to waste. I.E., if I'm over-eating it's a waste of food that someone else may have had the opportunity to consume. Just because I'm eating it doesn't mean it isn't going to waste! It is wasteful if I don't really want to eat it and consume it anyway. I look at it this way, it can be disposed of in a few different methods. Either I can not eat it in hopes that someone else will, or I can trash it to start with, or I can consume it, wait for it to come out the other end and dispose of it that way. The problem with the latter is that it means there's more work to be done to process / get rid of the food from my waist! If the food ends up turning to fat that's a waste of me!






[quote=LorifromFla] "You eat EVERYTHING on that plate because there are starving children all over the world who would do anything for that plate of food in front of you."

[Michele]

I do not blame my parents. Neither of them had weight problem and I didn't really either until I was older and on my own. I blame myself first, and society second.

I always considered myself to be heavy. I had a very thin and cute sister growing up and always felt compared to her in looks. I just wasn't built that way. I was bigger boned and had straighter hips. I was led to believe that I wasn't thin enough to be attractive when in fact there was nothing wrong with me.

I was miserable growing up because on my self image. It's funny how we call it that when it is really a reflection of our "self" as perceived by others. My main motivation now is to try and be a role model for others who are now where I was. Self-confidence is everything. I can try to look like a million bucks on the outside, but if there is no substance inside, who cares? My reasons for wanting to be on the BL is to finally find a game plan that works. The old me would never, ever consider getting in front of TV cameras in a tiny little exercise suit. The new self-confident me says "bring it on!"

[Patty_Ann]

I'm right there with you Michele! I am such a different person than what my weight perceives me to be...I have so much energy but once I go to do something my weight holds me back. I feel younger than what I am - I know 28 isn't old but I feel younger. I feel like I could dance the night away but again - my weight holds me back. I want to have a carefree feeling about my outerself - I want to look as good as I feel inside. My kids deserve that! Heck, I deserve that!!!

[2BALoser2]

Originally Posted by LorifromFla

Growing up, my mother always said, "You eat EVERYTHING on that plate because there are starving children all over the world who would do anything for that plate of food in front of you." So with that in mind, I always cleaned my plate. Out of guilt. I thought I always had to eat everything on my plate, no matter what. I could blame them for putting too much rice on my plate, or not cooking with the right oil, or not giving me a balanced meal. I could even blame them for not encouraging me to get enough exercise and instead stay inside and play Nintendo. And while its important that parents instill good health values in their children, it gets to a point where you stop pointing fingers. It gets to a point in your life, where you stop blaming other people and you take a long look at yourself, and realize that its your fault. It's no one else but your own. When you are young, you can blame your parents. You can think back on all of their ways and pick the good from the bad. But once you are older, you take responsibility for yourself. You think and say, "Well there may be starving children in Somalia, but i am FULL and I have had enough to eat." You grow up and you have a responsibility to yourself and your health, because no one is going to live life for you.

Lori I couldn't have put that better myself. All we can do if move forward, we know more today about health and foods than we did 20 years ago, but we know more and know that we should help our children so they hopefully will not have to go through the same struggles that we did.

[thekidsmom]

I don't think we can blame our parents for what they were taught growing up, it was a completely different time. Now that it is really coming to light about weight control and healthy eating it is everyones responsibility to change the way we all lead our lives.

[muppet]

Oh my, this is a tough subject. On one hand, I am totally against blaming anyone, or anything for your problems. Because while there are things you can't control, you can control how you act, and react to things.
I could sit here and recall every hurtful comment my Mom ever made. But I realize that she didn't intend to hurt me. She wanted to help. Her way of helping doesn't help, but I can't fault her intentions. I want to learn from her, so I don't say and do the same type of things to my own kids.
But, no one is the same, and people react differently to things.
I have a sister -in-law who is anorexic. My mother-in-law blames a boyfriend she had, but as I learn more about their family history, I realize that these seeds were planted in her as a child, where they took root, and grew. Again, I realize they didn't intend to be cruel, or hurtful. They just didn't realize how she would take their comments to heart, and let them eat away at her, until her anorexia becomes so bad, she is barely a walking skeleton. ( I think she is finally getting better now, thankfully)
I know it's hard to shake your childhood. I know you can't completely. But I'm a mother of 3 -- (2 boys, 16 and 13 and 1 girl, 10) I couldn't love them more. But I know I'm not perfect. I'm quite sure I'll say something that will upset them, even though that's the last thing I would want. I would hope that they could forgive me, and understand that I'm only human, and doing the best that I can. I hope they don't hang on to every mis-spoken word, or stupid comment, and let it affect them their entire lives. I just try to always let my children know how much I love them. I want them to know that I can say 'I'm sorry ', and admit a mistake. I try to be positive and encouraging. I try -- I do my best. Just as my parent's did.

[muppet]

I know about the 'eat everything on your plate' thing too. It's hard for people like me, and like my kids, who have always had plenty to really understand that attitude. My husband has it though, and I know he didn't have a lot as a kid, but they weren't starving. They were very frugal, and did NOT believe in waste. I think it's really hard for people to understand throwing out food, who have lived through really lean times. Most of us don't know what it feels like to really be starving. To literally have nothing to eat....We live in an age of abundance.
But, in these times we live in, I really don't think obesity is a problem, especially in young people, because they are told to clean their plates at home. I think a big part of the problem is that they aren't eating at home enough. Too much fast food-- too big of portions, and too much unhealthy snacking, is a pretty common diet for a lot of kids. Also, too much computer and video game time. There's just too many things encouraging are kids to stay in, and sit down ( and snack , of course) And, it's really, really hard, to get everyone home, at the same time, to sit down to a nice home-cooked meal. But it is well worth the effort!

[Patty_Ann]

Originally Posted by muppet

I know about the 'eat everything on your plate' thing too. It's hard for people like me, and like my kids, who have always had plenty to really understand that attitude. My husband has it though, and I know he didn't have a lot as a kid, but they weren't starving. They were very frugal, and did NOT believe in waste. I think it's really hard for people to understand throwing out food, who have lived through really lean times. Most of us don't know what it feels like to really be starving. To literally have nothing to eat....We live in an age of abundance.
But, in these times we live in, I really don't think obesity is a problem, especially in young people, because they are told to clean their plates at home. I think a big part of the problem is that they aren't eating at home enough. Too much fast food-- too big of portions, and too much unhealthy snacking, is a pretty common diet for a lot of kids. Also, too much computer and video game time. There's just too many things encouraging are kids to stay in, and sit down ( and snack , of course) And, it's really, really hard, to get everyone home, at the same time, to sit down to a nice home-cooked meal. But it is well worth the effort!

I couldn't agree more! I can remember when I was a senior in high school - 10 years ago...for lunch I would eat a candy bar and pepsi - then after school I would eat more junk food. I didn't have a problem with my weight back then but it sure did catch up with me...as my mom would say. I can remember my aunt would tell me to stop eating so much bread b/c it would catch up with me and it will all be in my rear-end. Boy...were they right!

[Big_Girl_Bigger_Heart]

Growing up in the south, we had a lot of biscuts, fried chicken, gravy...geez, we even had fried corn. Food for us was what family conversation is to others. We showed our love with cooking.
While I will always cherish my family, I cannot say I cherish my eatting habits, or my waist. The thing about blaming them though is, I was never over weight as a child. I cannot say I blame them, because no one forced me to eat. If the blame falls on anyone, it falls on myself. Instead of 3 peices of fried chicken, I should have just had one.
Lady Jami