Muppet's July Journal

[muppet]

Ok -- it's July. I don't have any real commitments for this whole month. I ought to be able to really focus on losing the pounds.
This month, I'm going to try and answer the question every day 'what have I done today to make me feel proud?'
Today, I got up, and went on my bike ride. I was trying to talk myself out of it, but I sucked it up, and went. It was great. I only did 10 miles today, but I pushed myself a little harder. I didn't dog it on the hills, like I had been. I was trying to conserve energy, because when I had pushed myself before, it seemed like it totally drained me, and the rest of the ride wasn't a lot of fun. But today, I didn't do that. I really pushed through all the hills, and I felt the burn. I was winded, but I noticed how much more easily I recover. So, I know I'm building strength and endurance. It's a great feeling to realize that your efforts are not in vain. My scale doesn't show a lot of results, but I know it will eventually, as long as I stick with the program.
So that's what I'm proud of today. I followed through, and can really tell things are improving.
I still need to up my water intake. And I need to get back to journaling my food, so I keep track of those calories. I can't stand to do it everyday, but I do need to at least twice a week, for a reality check.
We have church tomorrow morning. I would like to get up early enough to get a ride in before.
Later!
Carol

[Trying4Thin]

Glad you are enjoying the biking. There are times I dont want to get out and exercise; but once I am out the door I have fun. Keep that up and you will be able to go farther and in a shorter amount of time. I said it before, but it is worth saying again. You dont have to kill yourself exercising to get the benefits from it. Enjoy it, and you will be more likely to want to do it again.

How goes the Nano? Got my Tom Jones today.
Let me know if you need anything.

~Carrie

[muppet]

I have to find that balance. That place where I'm strict enough with myself, and won't accept any excuses for poor eating choices, or lack of exercise, but where I also don't beat myself up for making the occasionaly poor choice, and skipping the workout.
I guess for me, if I tell myself, 'once in awhile is ok', then 'once in a while' becomes 'all the time', without me ever realizing it.
I think that's what my problem is right now.
It also seems that when I do really good with exercise, I slack on eating right, and when I'm eating right, then I slack off a bit on the exercise. Just imagine if I could get it all together!!!
I don't want to become obsessed, and I don't want to let this rule my life, but in a way, it has to, or I won't ever be successful. This is a reality that I really don't want to face yet. I know that little changes work, but they aren't going to get me the results I want.
So, I have to decide -- do I really want to alter my lifestyle, to get the results I want, or do I want to keep plugging away the way I have been, which is benefiting me, but not as much as I would like. Or I should say, not enough to improve my health, statistically.
GAH!! I don't want it to be this way! I simply can't make myself special food all the time. It's just not practical with a family. But I can give myself smart choices. I can limit my portions. I was doing all this a couple of years ago, and I did lose weight. So I know it works. I have to think about it, all the time. Every bite I put in my mouth -- I have to evaluate-- is it good for me? Do I want it just because it tastes good? Am I really hungry? Are the amount of calories worth the short amount of time I'll actually enjoy it???
I've just got to face it, and accept it. I've got to go at it, full bore, in order for the fat to come off.
So, my brain knows it. I just have to follow through, and listen to my brain, not my emotions.
This isn't something I can do half way, or part time. It's a full time commitment.
I suppose you can see that I keep repeating myself. I'm hoping that if I keep typing it, and keep thinking it, that I'll be able to accept what I have to do, and DO IT!
Hope you're all having a spectacular weekend!
Carol

[Missy]

I know the feeling. I always feel like food is controlling my life..only in a completely different way than it was before. Instead of eating for emotions, I have to calculate exactly what I'm eating and when I'm eating etc...it sometimes seems like too much to take in. But you're right..you have to do it if you want to make the changes. I guess nothing in life is easy, so why should this be? It comes with any other goals in life you want to achieve, you have to work..and work hard in order to achieve them.

[wintolose06]

I agree
It seem all I can think about is food
I keep telling myself that nothing tastes as good as thin feels

[Trying4Thin]

Unfortunately this is going to be a lifetime change. Food has always been my obsession too. I admit that I am an addict, binger, and emotional eater. Each person is different. I know that I cant trust myself with certain things so I dont buy them. If it comes down to choosing; consider how hard you will have to work to burn off the extra calories. A treat once in a while wont kill you. Know you limits and know when to say when. Instead of a piece of cake, pizza, or whatever else makes you drool; go window shopping for a new smaller outfit, get a manicure, or a haircut to remind you that food doesnt have to be your ball and chain. I guarantee that seeing yourself in a new outfit, or a new 'do will be much more gratifying than a temporary food fix. There is a way out of here; you just have to fight for it. You are all beautiful on the inside and the outside), and way better than any snack/meal out there. If you say NO enough times; it becomes second nature. Sometimes I smell something, want it (or think I do); so I turn my attentions elsewhere, and five mins later I cant even remember I even wanted it. Dont let your mind play tricks on you. Junk food exists and so do we; that's a fact. But just because it's there doesnt mean that we have to constantly indulge.

~Carrie

[muppet]

I do hate thinking about it all the time, but that's just what I'm going to have to do. I can't be like 'normal' person, and just eat whatever, and have it come out ok in the end. I wish it wasn't that way, but it is, and I won't be successful till I get that through my think head, and follow through!

[mifsit]

Hi Carol. Maybe you could encourage your family to eat healthier too then you won't have to make yourself something special.

I try to see certain food treats as time on a cross trainer, 1 regular size snickers is about 20 mins on a cross trainer. It really helps me to keep those things in check.

Like Carrie says above, nothing tastes as good as the feeling of putting on a sexy new, smaller size outfit. Since I started I fit into my wedding suit once more and boy do I think I look good.

1last point about your cycling you'll find as you build up your stamina your muscles are growing too and muscle weighs heavier than fat volume wise (i.e a poound of fat is bigger than a pund of muscle). Muscle burns calories quicker even if you do nothing so you will start to see results weightwise eventually. Its exactly what happened to me.

[helena]

i know what you are saying!!! i am totally there with you on that one!!!!
and it is true what carrie says, just because the junk is there it doesnt mean we have to eat it!!!!!
we just have to train our selves!!!!!!

[muppet]

Thanks guys. It really does help to know that others know what you mean. I still don't have my head in the game. I'm not having the best day. It has to do with my in -laws, and picking up my sis-in-law at the airport, and plans for the weekend to celebrate theri 50th anniversary.
If I go into details, I'll be typing forever. But something was supposed to happen, and nothing did. We made sure we were free this weekend, but no one can call anyone, or take charge so nothing happened. I wish my husband would have, but we don't live close -- kind of out of the loup, and apparently no one else can think ahead, and take charge of anything. So, I'm mad, and frustrated. I've just spent the last few hours with my in-laws, listening to them talk about dumb stuff, most of which I've heard before. A lot of bitching about education, politics, and 'parent's today!" Yeah, we're all a bunch of morons! And for those of you who don't have kids yet, you should probably get castrated, because none of you have any common sense and shouldn't be allowed to have kids. You only want to have them to get more government aid anyway, right?
Please -- understand these are NOT my words. This is the kind of crap I have to listen to whenever certain subjects come up.
I work with kids. I work with parent's. Yeah, some parent's leave me shaking my head, but most are loving, and caring, and doing a wonderful job. They sincerely want what's best for their child. Maybe they haven't always made the best decisions, ( who has?), but their hearts are in the right place, and they're trying.
I just HATE how my mother -in-law thinks that anyone past her generation is an idiot, and that because she raised her kids on cows milk, then formula is ridiculous, and don't even MENTION breast feeding ( which is how I fed my babies) because she "IS NOT AN ANIMAL!!!!" Blah blah blah -- they didn't use car seats, and her kids all survived.... blah blah blah.....
It makes me CRAZY!! I'll be fine in awhile, but right now I feel like I could explode. I know better than to confront her, or argue with her, so I always keep my mouth shut. Believe me -- it's the best way. You can't tell her ANYTHING, and she understands no one's opinion but her own.
My son will get his senior pictures taken at the end of the month. They were complaining about his hair, ( my husband does too, and sometimes I do as well, but that is a battle I don't want to get into, if I can avoid it) I said he should get a haircut, the way he likes it, a couple of weeks before he gets pictures taken. And I also said that a senior picture should look like him, and I didn't want him getting some super short haircut, that he will hate, and wouldn't look like him, or be representative of how he looked at this time in his life. Doesn't that make sense? But she did NOT agree with me. Geesh -- I wish she would learn to keep her mouth shut, and keep her opinions to herself once in awhile!
I didn't want this to be a big long bitchfest, but it's sure turning into one.
I've been just awful about my eating. I'm hoping by getting this off my chest, I can move on, and focus on what I need to focus on. My husband understands, and is good about listening, but I don't want to just be a complete rag about it.
And, in spite of it all, I do love my in-laws. They have their wonderful sides too, and that completely makes up for their hard-headedness. ( mother-in-law has the hardest head).
I have to laugh it off -- and I will be able to do that. It's just that holding my tongue makes things build up, and right now, I don't think it's all that funny.
Thanks for listening.
Tomorrow I hope to have a positive journal.
Carol
Happy 4th!!!!!!