A Healthier Happier Journey in June

[muppet]

I find myself out of balance sometimes too Jules. Like you, my total calories aren't that high, but when I really look at what I'm eating, I'm not eating the most nutrient rich foods. I like your veggie idea. Do you mix them all together, or do them them separately? They sound like they'd be good all mixed together. This is something that would be easy to wrap in foil and throw on the grill too. But sometimes I don't like to do that ( have cooked corn on the cob that way) because it doesn't seem to cook as evenly. Burnt spots, and not quite done spots. Of course, that is probably just an issue with me. Cooking is really not my thing. I like simple - no recipe needed- cooking.
Enjoy those puppies! How big are they going to get? They sound like loads of fun.
Carol

[Jules]

I suck. My diet sucks, my exercise level sucks, and my attitude sucks. This morning I had to get up at 7 (way early for me) and take the puppies to get neutered (and I'm worried about them now too) so afterwards on the way to work I made the bad decision to stop at sonic and have a Supersonic breakfast burrito to add to my yogurt smoothie because I'd been up hours already and was hungry. It's just a burrito, cant be that bad can it? Yup, I checked it out. One little burrito is around 800 cal!!!! And most of that is fat. What was I thinking? Now I've gone too far the other direction. It's nearly 1pm and I am barely hungry for lunch. Guess it's a good day to eat the tiny 160 cal frozen "meal" I bought, and another for dinner.

Life is good and happy, but I'm upset with myself on how slack I've been lately. I'm finding 1 million and 1 excuses not to exercise and I'm starting to snack instead, and now I'm feeling worse about my body again. Why can't I have the yummy foods and a slim body? Why did I get the metabolism of a hibernating bear?

I watched some of "So you think you can dance" on Fox last night while not exercising myself. I can tell you that one of those stick figure women is about the size of my left thigh. I'm really jealous of those people, not because of their weight, but how they seem so intune with their bodies. They seem to love and train their bodies, work with their bodies to dance, dress up their bodies in beautiful clothes. They don't see their own bodies as the enemy like I do sometimes. (I know this isn't completely fair as they do work hard and sometimes injure themselves, but they don't try to compensate for their bodies with personality/brains/humor or ignore them either)

*sigh* It's all up to me and I've been striking out a lot lately at good health. But I don't want to slip bak to what I weighed!!!! Dang it. Why can't I have y'alls happy attitudes, desire to exercise? If I did half of what you moms and Missy, Carrie, and Phil do I know I'd lose weight quickly.

Today is another day, I must not kick myself too much about the past and let it get me down, I will eat lightly the rest of the day, and I MUST above all things exercise.

[Trying4Thin]

Geez Jules with all that "sucking" you say that you are doing; should we now call you Hoover?!

Seriously though; I know how you feel. Ever since Weds I have gone from on top of the world to really angry, hurt, sulky....(oh yeah I have been downright pleasant to be around NOT!!). Almost like what the heck is the point of busting my ass when I am just going to gain it back one way or another. But, the closer you get to your goal weight; the tougher it gets to lose at the rate you are accustomed to. I guess I need to pay attention to what I am about to say here since I am in the same boat along with you...You cant allow yourself to abandon all the good decisions that you have been making thus far. You think you feel sucky now? Try gaining back the weight you lost, plus more and see what that does to you emotionally. I will hazzard a guess and say that it will depress the heck out of you. So grab that 'tude by the *&%%$ and tell it to get to stepping! It isnt welcome around here anymore!! You deserve so much better than that. Dont let anyone or anything distract you from what you want to achieve. If you want; I cant suggest some "angry" music to inspire you. Also, I suggest setting a mini goal for yourself and a small reward to go along with it. (Non-food of course).
Example: I am giving up Quizno's (SIGH) until I get back to losing. Small goal..getting to 149 pounds. Then for my reward I will probably get my hair flat ironed down again. Make sure your reward is something that reflects the positive work you have done for yourself. (A new outfit, a new hairstyle etc.) Everytime you look at it, wear it, etc. It will remind you to stay on task and of all the hard work you put into getting there. It will become highly addictive.
Also start being really strict with what you are eating on a daily basis. That will make all the difference. All the exercise in the world cant completely destroy the effects of a bad day of eating. What you are eating will also determine your energy level for the day. Sugar laden foods will give you a temporary high and leave you for dead a few short hours later after declaring havoc on your blood stream and spiking your blood sugar levels. Bad carbs will make you crave more carbs. Who can ever eat one serving of pizza or mac and cheese? Try fueling up on foods that will leave you fuller for longer. Dont forget lean protein as well, and a serving of healthy fats like nuts. Watch salt levels too. And slug lots and lots of water, or decaf iced tea. It will help flush out all the crap that is slowing you down. I am not a dietician but I hope this helps. And get some sort of workout in each day. You dont have to go nuts; walking 2 puppies does count. Try walking some of your errands (within reason), and not only save on gas, but get in that cardio too. (Get a diskman or walkman and buy a book on tape. Guarrantee you will be in the next town when you hit chapter 2 and you wont want to come home!) Wash the car, vaccum the apartment, push around your furniture...you dont have to belong to a gym to burn calories. It doesnt take much to get yor heart rate up. As I have recently found out; exercise doesnt have to be a complete sweatfest in order for you to get all of the positive benefits out of it. Just get the HR up for at least 20 mins a session.

Keep us posted!
~Carrie

[muppet]

Hey Jules-- I feel your pain! You're in what I call a 'slump'. You know what to do. You know what you're doing wrong, and yet you can't seem to do what's right, and what's necessary.
I would have thought a breakfast burrito would have been a smarter choice too ( my weakness is a mc Griddle, which I know has to be horrendous! -- I do not eat them anymore!) But don't let a burrito get the best of you!
You're doing just the right thing. Scold yourself a little bit, but move on. Make better choices tomorrow. You'll do it. You know you will. Maybe your body, and your mind just need a little break. I think that's ok, as long as you don't go back to old habits. Just relax, and please don't compare yourself to those dancers. You don't have to be in that kind of shape to be healthy, beautiful and fit.
Getting down on yourself, and getting too upset over mistakes can be dangerous. Don't let is get the best of you. As Carrie said, don't forget to count walking, and playing with the puppies as exercise. Just do what you enjoy for awhile. Don't stress, and it will all come back to you. You'll be motivated and excited about all this again, in no time.
Take Care Jules,
Carol

[Missy]

Hey Jules,

Don't fret too much over your eating today. We all make bad decisions every once in awhile, but then you get right back up on your feet!! You have come too far with your weight loss to give up now. You can do this! I hate watching tv where all I see are skinny girls in their skimpy outfits, it makes me so freaking jealous. I think it's more the fact that guys seem to drool over these girls and it makes me feel like a fat slob. I think a lot of those girls are unhealthy though as well. You can be the skinniest person in the world and still be unhealthy. In my experience I have only found that comparing myself to others makes me feel worse about myself and I don't want that! I start looking inside me of things to be proud of. I am proud of my weight loss and my lifestyle changes. I am proud that I want to take care of myself and want to make sure I live a longer life.

Carrie's post was very inspiring and she gave lots of great ideas for you to kick-start your weight loss again.

Hope you feel better soon!

[mifsit]

I've said it before but just to reassure you not all guys like skeletal women, me definatly not.

I understand how you feel about slipping up, I think most of us have done it, my particular problem is beer, Not that I need one in the mornings, or to settle my nerves etc, I just like the stuff and would get through a 6 pack in an hour given the chance.

You've kicked youself about this now so learn from your mistake and move on. If you make a habit of getting up at 7 you can do a workout before you start the rest of the day. Its what I did and It was hard in the 1st few days but got much easier. If you have a workout tape or DVD put that on if you can't get to the gym. And I'm sure you'll be burning the calories taking those puppies out for walkies.

[Widdlecuddles]

Did you exercise yesterday? hope you find your motivation to get on track. You are doing great. Try to focus on what your body wants. If you want to snack - that probably is more your mind than your body and maybe think through why you want to snack or go exercise instead of snacking (and then afterward if you still want a snack - have a little one - or make a healthy choice)

[Jules]

I don't know how to say thank you enough for all your comments. You're all absolutely right, yesterday I was in a slump and feeling discouraged. Yesterday I posted, skipped lunch, then left work early feeling pretty discouraged. And,of all days, yesterday was not the day to exercise. I left early to pick up the puppies, they had just had surgery for neutering (requirement for humane society adoptees). My instructions were to keep an eye on them and keep them very calm for the next few hours. So jumping around in the living room to a Dvd? That was a definate no. I lay down with them and got them to sleep for a few hours while I read and napped myself.

Then things got fun/bad for my diet. I got a call from my chef fiance that Morgan Freeman was dining at the restaurant. Mr. Freeman actually eats there pretty regularly, but mostly on busy weekend nights, see he's from Mississippi and spends a lot of time here still. It's a 5 star restaurant and I don't eat there often because when it's my guys day off the last place he wants to go out to is his own workplace. Back to the story -so I've always wanted to see a celebrity in person. I called up a friend and we got ready quickly and rushed there and got to sit at the table next to him. I was sitting there facing Morgan Freeman in person. I didn't stare or say anything to him, he's a person just like everybody who deserves their space and privacy. But it was cool just to be around him. My guy treated us to lovely appetizers of veggies and shrimp before our meals and a dessert afterwards. I didn't do too badly, just a little pork chop, asparagus and yams in my meal, but the desert was death on a plate. It was a fried snickers bar with ice cream and strawberries. I'd never had that before, and I think I'm going to have to pretend like those don't exist from now on. We had a fantastic time, but definately not on any diet.

Today the puppies are back to normal. I'm going to weigh myself today and start exercising again. I'm going to take the emotions which poured over me when I read y'alls comments and funnel them into exercise. I'm not going to stew about how bad I've been, I'm just going to do better because I want to be happy (not necessarily skinny, but happy with my health). These are my goals for today.

I already got on Amazon today and ordered another book, "Eat to Live" by Joel Furman. I obviously need to focus right now. I hate when I get so weak and down, but I'm so glad that despite your own struggles you all took the time to help me feel better. I think you all mentioned a lot of things I need to do this weekend, examine my own mind again as well as what I'm taking in. I want that pride Missy talked about, to achieve atleast a mini-goal like Carrie suggested, to get over the past like Muppet advised, to be accountable to myself for exercise like Widdlecuddles is already helping me with, and I'm so glad to hear Phil that atleast one man likes women who aren't sticks. You know I think I'm going to print out each of those posts and pin them to my wall for motivation so next time I reach for a dumb yucky snack I'll see that there's something better.

My aim today: Be positive instead of frustrated.

[muppet]

You're restaurant adventure sounds really cool. I about died, when you said the dessert was a fried snickers bar! They serve those at the State Fair here (Iowa) along with fried Twinkies, and Fried Oreos. I just think it's so funny that a 5 star restaurant would serve the same thing you see some hairy guy with a beer belly and a mullet, in a muscle shirt ( with no muscle, by the way) eating along with his gigantic turkey leg!
I think all that fried stuff sounds so gross, but people sure eat it up. It must be good, if they serve it at a nice restaurant! It's nice that they dress it up with some strawberries and cream though. And, I bet you didn't have to eat it on a stick!
And, I don't mean to be stereotypical about the people you see at the fair. I mean, we go enjoy it too. But it's there that you will see the overweight guy in an undershirt tank top ( they call the wife beaters here -- I really don't care for that term though -- although I know why it's appropriate) shorts, black socks and sandals. Or the the terribly overweight, larged chested woman in a tube top and daisy dukes. You'll see your fair share of mullets too, on men and women.
Yeah -- the state fair is great, and it really brings out all kinds. It's fun.
Glad your attitude is better Jules. Take good care of those puppies! We have a kitten I will need to fix ( spay, for females?? I can never remember) I think we have to wait till she's at least 4 months before we can do it.
The book sounds like a great idea. I think it's so easy to forget that although food is to be enjoyed, it's main purpose is to fuel and nurture out bodies.
And hey -- I know A LOT of guys who prefer a little 'badonk-adonk' to some super skinny hardbody. And I don't mean they prefer overweight women. They just like some curves--a little roundness and softness. And guys who drool over those big obviously fake boobs -- I think are immature and shallow. They might as well play with a couple of water balloons.
And yet another rambler from me. Someday I might actually have a point!
Take it easy!
Carol

[Trying4Thin]

I dont remember you saying your fiancee was a chef. That is really cool. You got to sit next to Morgan Freeman!!!!!!!! I am so fricken jealous. "Shawshank Redemption" is one of my favorite movies ever! The closest I ever came to fame while working was a few years back when I was a hostess for Bob Evans...Drew Carey came into my restaurant and I didnt even recognize him. Until somebody came up and said something to me. Then when I was at Macaroni Grill hostessing; a famous golfer came in with a group. I dont follow golf so I dont know who he was. Had it been Tiger Woods, I would have known. (Not that out of the loop).
You did great with the diet considering the circumstances. Although I would have been so busy panicking I would have forgotten that I was supposed to be there to eat.
Looks like you got the pick me up you were hoping for. Hang in there; it will work out. I am sure we have all had our days where it would be easier to quit than to keep plugging away. I will fess up to that. With two energetic puppies you will never have to want for extra cardio. I miss having a dog around. But I will settle for a boyfriend. (haha). Glad you got some down time because before you know it; they will be up and running around again and you will need your energy.

Hehe...death on a plate. I love that (for some odd reason).

~Carrie