lisa's journal

[Trying4Thin]

Hi Lisa,

I dont know if you got my personal message earlier, but I think we have a lot in common. If it makes you feel any better, a single lollipop isnt going to blow your efforts. It must be really tough working in a target rich environment like that. Try keeping a bottle of water next to you while you work. I know that if I drink enough water, all food loses it's appeal. Sounds like you are doing great already. Keep up the great work and let us know how you are doing.

~Carrie

[desperatlydepressed]

got your message. i am sorry that i didnt reply.

i was having a very bad day that day.

thankyou for your support.

lisa

[Trying4Thin]

Thats ok I understand. I crashed and burned last night. It's normal.

~Carrie

[desperatlydepressed]

ahhhhhh,
day three and im still going ok

ok so i had a slip up, i was bored and ate some barbecue shapes, but i also went to gym and did a body balance cl**** which i love doing by the way.

but besides that slip up im going good. im aiming for a whole week to start off with. then going week by week, its all i can do. i cant look to far ahead.

anyway im heading off to bed.
ill write more tomorrow
lisa

[ehyatt]

You are doing great. Sometimes all I can do is concentrate on today and how healthy I will eat, and what I am going to do for exercise. I keep concentrating on the todays and pretty soon a week has gone by.

[desperatlydepressed]

ok.

so last night i was just doing a brief update. heres more.

i watched the show after i was on here last night, i was tapping it as i had to work. i was right, i had tears flowing from my face from start to finish. then i tried to put myself in the contestants position. what would i have done if i was there. its hard. i dont know what i would do in that position. i know i would have tears pooring down my face, but i think id probably run. i think i would of ran away and found a corner for me to hide, where i could comfort myself. i would of wished i could go and play netball. netballs my savior, it has been for years. its my way of getting my emotions out, i need it. and because i couldnt just go and play i think i would have gone and got my uniform on, as i know i would have got it, then gone to the gym. but as i said. i could have done that, i could have just sat there and cried and cried and cried, and not have been able to move for hours., or i could have run and hit a wall and slid down in hysterical despair. thats happened before too.

ok. so yes, i had a lot of tears last night. but it made me wish i was there more. ive had 3 personal training sessions, all with different trainers. i didnt like one of them. they were there to do the session, thats it, nothing more. they didnt want to help you emotionally, they didnt want you to get everything you could out of that session. with bob and jillian they are different , they really care. thats why i wish i was there.

as far as the food goes, im still going fine. i mean sure there are things i could do differently and im working on that. but at least thins time ive started. im just hoping to keep it going. im going to keep on going for life. im sick of the way i am. i want to be able to run in C for a whole game of netball, instead of not being able to do it for even a 1/4, i want love, and i want to be healthy i dont want to die young, i want to live life.

so here i go.

im off to the gym. im inspired.

lisa

[weaverdelooh]

What is netball???? Is it similiar to basketball? I've never heard of "netball".

Originally Posted by desperatlydepressed

ok.

so last night i was just doing a brief update. heres more.

i watched the show after i was on here last night, i was tapping it as i had to work. i was right, i had tears flowing from my face from start to finish. then i tried to put myself in the contestants position. what would i have done if i was there. its hard. i dont know what i would do in that position. i know i would have tears pooring down my face, but i think id probably run. i think i would of ran away and found a corner for me to hide, where i could comfort myself. i would of wished i could go and play netball. netballs my savior, it has been for years. its my way of getting my emotions out, i need it. and because i couldnt just go and play i think i would have gone and got my uniform on, as i know i would have got it, then gone to the gym. but as i said. i could have done that, i could have just sat there and cried and cried and cried, and not have been able to move for hours., or i could have run and hit a wall and slid down in hysterical despair. thats happened before too.

ok. so yes, i had a lot of tears last night. but it made me wish i was there more. ive had 3 personal training sessions, all with different trainers. i didnt like one of them. they were there to do the session, thats it, nothing more. they didnt want to help you emotionally, they didnt want you to get everything you could out of that session. with bob and jillian they are different , they really care. thats why i wish i was there.

as far as the food goes, im still going fine. i mean sure there are things i could do differently and im working on that. but at least thins time ive started. im just hoping to keep it going. im going to keep on going for life. im sick of the way i am. i want to be able to run in C for a whole game of netball, instead of not being able to do it for even a 1/4, i want love, and i want to be healthy i dont want to die young, i want to live life.

so here i go.

im off to the gym. im inspired.

lisa

[desperatlydepressed]

netball is not basketball!.
sorry i love netball.

ok netball is a sport which consists of seven players per team. and as much as i hate to say it, it is similar to basketball. you play on a court, with two goalposts, one on each end.

the main differences between the two sports is that in netball each player has a position and wears positional markers to show that position. each position is only allowed into a certain space. players are not alowed to run with the ball, take the ball off someone or contact them. and when defending they must be three feet from the player they are defending.

if u want to know more heres the netball australia website.
www.netball.asn.au

netball is played in most countries and yes even in the usa.

well at least they play in the world championships.

[weaverdelooh]

I clicked onto the link and one of the first things I saw was about a chicken pox scare for the team. I found that rather odd because our school is in the midst of a chicken pox epidemic!!!! We're going on something like 15% of the student population having broken out with it since January 9th!!!! And just when I thought it was about over, there are 2 more kids out this week with the pox, both of which have siblings at home who have not yet gotten it.

[zelda]

Lisa do you get counselling for your depression? Or are you on anti depressents? It sounds like being overweight is not your only problem and if you get help to make your self esteem improve losing weight will be so much easier. If you can't afford it there are a lot of free counselling groups you can access in Australia, see your Dr and see what they can suggest. It sounds like you are really struggling with a lot of things and need a lot of support. We can give you some here but seeing someone in person who can give you a big hug as well will really help.
Look after yourself.