January journal

[nahum1_7]

We went to church and prayed in the New Year by candlelight. It was the most amazing experience, it worked out that midnight struck during my prayer for our marriage and family. I was so blessed by the experience. God has been so good to us, the change in Michael is so evident. I have no doubts that our family will be restored!

Yesterday I walked an hour around the lake, it started snowing. It was so beautiful! Today I rescued a puppy that got out of its yard and almost got hit by a car. There was no address but I was able to get the vet info from the rabies tag and took her there for her owners to claim. I di alot of dogwalking, its been a busy day. I decided to clean a day early, gonna try to finish tonight. Its bitterly cold outside and I will hit the treadmill here instead of going to the gym.

The hamsters are so much fun. I already have them spoiled rotten. I am probably just as crazy about them as the kids are.

As for weight, I am confident that as long as I keep my focus on God, he will get me through these last pounds. My only new years resolution is Matthew 6:33 -But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

I haved lived a life where everything about exercising and eating right consumed me. now I realise that if I put all I have in making my body thin and neglect my soul, I am worse off than I was at 242 pounds. Instead of hitting the treadmill at 5 am I give the ONE that is first, the first part of my day. That quiet time of Bible study and prayer keep me going all day long. I have filled 2 journals since April and looking back, not one day has gone by where God hasnt given me a word that I found out later on I needed during the course of the day.

May God bless you all and keep you! Prayers for not only pounds to be shed, but lives to be completely transformed by Jesus Christ!

[muppet]

That was a really beautiful post. Thank you for sharing.

[Trying4Thin]

You two give me hope that even when the odds are against you; the Lord still works on your behalf.

[nahum1_7]

Muppet, thank you too!


Carrie- Romans 8:28 says that the Lord uses all things to work to the good of those who love him and are called of him according to his purpose. I had to tell myself that a few times after I weighed this morning. Put a new battery in the scale and weighed for the challenge I am in at weighins...and yikes.

I am over 15 pounds heavier than when I weighed about 2 weeks ago. I know alot of it is water weight from the steroids and other meds I've been on for over 2 weeks. I hate it when the steroids have to be upped because I blow up so much. Granted part of that 15 pounds is probably from my cheat day yesterday, gotta change it so that its not the day before the weighin LOL. I usually dont partake in our campout party, but I partook LOL, meatballs, cheeseball, lace cookies, choc chip cookies, dip with veggies, and more dip with chips....So I am going back to my usual cheat day of a Five Guys or homecooked burger and fries, probably on Tues or weds. Oh geesh I forgot about the buckeyes we made, I had more than one and thats all I am saying LOL!

But anyway, I delaying my weighin until tomorrow, because usually when I drop the steroids I lose a few pounds pretty fast in water weight. I dont think its fair for everyone else to start a weighin with an inflated weight like that when I know alot of it will drop fast. I am praying the steroids wont have to be upped again because since June its been almost a constant in my life.

When I woke up the verse looking at me on my calendar was this-

Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

and He does!!! I was in agony and now its an amazing change. I heard a wise lady say that God puts broken hearts back together, but we have to give Him all the pieces. On April 20, the day of the divorce, I gave him everything, the change is so profound. That agony I felt is now replaced with the truth which is hope, contentness, and happiness knowing that no matter what, God is taking care of every part of my life....and my husband's life.

When I start to feel alone or overwhelmed, Isaiah 54 reminds me that God is right there with me when I feel abandoned, ending with "no weapon formed against me shall prosper".

Its easy to get caught up in the details of our situations (which are most times lies straight from the devil), making things even more impossible in our minds..but we only need to focus on the truth. Even with bad things are thrown in our way by the devil to break us, God will use them for our good. Nothing is impossible for God, no weapon or person will prosper coming against us, He will fight for us (Exodus 14:14), If God be for us (saved through Jesus Christ), who can be against us? no one! (Romans 8:31)

I could pass out at seeing my weight jump 15 pounds in 2 weeks, but I know that those numbers will come down.... and I dont have to starve myself or exercise 6 hours a day for them to come down either. Dont get me wrong, I know I have to work hard at losing weight (especially now with even the constant low dose of steroids I am on), but I have to keep my focus on the ONE that is supplying the strength that I used to take for granted.

Hope you all have a blessed day!

[nahum1_7]

I am not sure whether its coming down off the steroids or just that its freezing, but I am wiped out. I did have dogwalking today and got alot done here, but I think I am going to try to take a 20 min nap before hitting the gym.

This is what I did to avoid the thought of going back out. I am so proud of my big "project". I wanted a way to hang all our bows/hairstuff so that the girls could put them up by themselves and they would stay organized.

[Trying4Thin]

I know how you feel about blowing up quickly. A while back I went on some meds for anxiety and depression. I didnt eat well either. That combo was lethal. Needless to say; I quit the pills. I wasn't on them when I was working out last year and I don't need them now.

I pretty much locked up all my junk about Eric (and anything else I have zero control over) in the "God Jar" and put it up on a shelf where I can't reach it. I am just trying to focus on my weight loss and putting blinders on to all the rest. It's that type of distraction that has derailed me before and I won't let it happen again. If I continue to keep Eric in my life right now and constantly worry about what I usually do; I will never get to where I am happy. Once I get back to my old self (the improved version); then I can start to wonder again.

I do believe God works on a schedule of his own; and not just because we want or need something. He has reasons of his own; most of which are unknown to us. But in the end all will be revealed and we can then say "ah-ha!" that's what he ment by that.

[nahum1_7]

((((((((((((carrie))))))))))))) God will take care of your weight through his work in you each day, and he will take care of this situation with Eric... or someone else that instead might be God's best for you. Keep your eyes on Him and He will lead you through this!

I managed to go to the gym, did 19 mins hard on the arc trainer, did one more minute and ran to the bathroom to throw up. So 20 mins was it for today LOL. I did manage to spend 15 mins on my abs and back when I got myself together. Coming off these meds is making me feel horrible and I am gonna go to bed early tonight to see if that helps. I am thankful I at least that I got some kind of workout in. Tomorrow I am doing nothing but church and rest, back to the gym on Monday.

I'm back to my old habits of 3 cups skim milk and 3 cups grapefruit juice everyday with most of my calories during the morning and afternoon. I had a protein shake when I got home and I am getting ready to take a shower and go to bed.

[nahum1_7]

I tried to post this morning but my computer got messed up. I lost 4 lbs in one day, granted the weight on the scale still is over 200, 202 to be exact

I am actually starting to like grapefruit juice, I know that helped me lose some of this water weight yesterday. Tomorrow I hit the gym to get rid of the biscuit and fudge weight :P I am still feeling like I have a cold so we'll see how long I last, I am going to bed again early tonight.

Church was great today, I got a good amount of rest. Jana took my picture tonight, its not the 174 chickie I was a few months ago, but yanoo I am SO much happier.



There are a few more pounds, but man there is so much more hope and happiness. I was trying to lose more than weight last year, trying to shed my husband and marriage thinking that there was no way that God could put it back together. Now I stand there with a little ring on my finger to remind me that I said my vows not only to my husband, but also to God. God will honor those vows and expects me to do so as well. I know that with God, ALL things are possible! The change in Michael is amazing, and I know God is working on everyone involved in this situation. God has healed the broken relationships between Michael's family and me, they have blessed me so much! When I was getting ready to lie down for a nap today I decided to read a few verses. The first one I came to was all I need to know, for my weight loss, for our marriage being restored, for everything that seems like a huge mountain in my life...

Genesis 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the Lord?

I think God let me lose the weight my way and showed me that a number on a scale wasnt going to ever do it for me. Then when God made it very clear that I needed to trust him, I realised that I really can do nothing on my own. I wish I could measure the change He has brought in me since April, but I feel so content, even at 202. Not to say that I am content to stay there, but I dont have that nagging doubt about whether or not the weight will come off, I know it will. I am not doing this alone!

[Trying4Thin]

Looking good tracey!

[nahum1_7]

Thanks, I got those Renee Z squinty eyes tonight, not sure what was up but I had my eyes closed in almost all the pics Jana tried to take tonight.

Well gonna go finish dishes and go to bed, love ya!!