Will '08 be great?

[muppet]

Thank you! We had a long talk tonight. I said we really want to help him, but can't if he's not straight with us.
After talking it sounds like he got a little home sick-- not realizing that's what it was.
He's always been so hungry for independence, but said that has lost some of it's luster too.
I hope by living at home, with us keeping a closer eye on him, and him having us around for help and support, he will be able to pull himself together and get back on track.
He's embarrassed, but he simply did not go to class. He says he did for the first 3 weeks or so, and then just quit. I'm still not quite sure why. He made friends and was enjoying football games, etc. But I think he felt alone because he didn't have a bond with any of these people. I did tell him that takes time, but it seems he simply was not ready for college life.
I know it's the law, but I'm so angry that parent's aren't allowed to have a clue about their children's grades. But, they are more than happy to send us all the bills! The person paying the bill ought to have a right to know how they're doing. It's a lot for some of these kids to handle all on their own.
I understand why kids need to take responsibility. I know there are lots of parents who are way too involved in their kids lives-- can't cut the apron strings -- just can't butt out. So I suppose it's a tough line to draw. Great for some kids who need the chance to spread their wings a bit, but not so well for those other kids who don't like to admit they're having a tough time. It's easier to ignore than to face it.
He is young -- turned 18 this summer. And was more than a little over-confident. He thought it would be a piece of cake. But things just didn't feel right for him.
I hope he's realized that ignoring a problem, or what you're feeling, won't make it go away.
I hope and pray this is a lesson learned for us all.

[muppet]

30 minute elliptical
15 minutes bike
5 minutes walking cool down
15 minutes abs and stretching

Man did I ever sweat today! My shirt is soaked.
I feel really good -- like I've worked hard. I love this feeling. I don't always love working that hard, but it's worth it.
I did well with my eating yesterday and am planning to do the same, if not better, today.
I ate a banana after my workout this morning. I hope that helps keep my from starving before lunch time.

[Trying4Thin]

Hi Carol,

Sorry I didn't write back sooner. Your post about your relatives really irked me. They have absolutely NO right to be treating you like they have. They need to take their self righteous, "I'm better than you" attitudes and shove 'em where the light don't shine. What you do is your business and yours alone. I'm betting they are just jealous that you can do this and they aren't. Or can't. There are many changes that a person will go through on their weight loss journey and unfortunatly; losing friends or encountering bad treatment from friends and loved ones is almost a given. I know I have made this shpeel before and I am going to do it again because I could also benefit from it as well.

1) It doesn't matter what others think about you or say about you; so just ignore them. They are jealous and feel the need to tear you down to bring themselves up.

2) Friends who don't stick by you when you need them; aren't worth having in the first place.

3) Relatives who are catty shouldn't be invited to family functions; or on a limited basis only. You don't need to spend the day being stressed out about what they are thinking. It probably isn't important anyway.

4) In the long run; the only people who need to accept you are your family and close circle of friends. Anyone else who doesn't support you can leave. Losing weight isn't easy. If it were; everyone would be at goal. Surround yourself with positive energy and you will be less likely to binge or tear yourself down.

As for your son; I'm sorry to hear about college. If it makes you feel any better; my father flunked out of one college and eventually rallied back to earn his Phd and teach at Harvard. He has been a successful doctor for years now. Nothing is set in stone my friend. You will get through this.

[muppet]

Thanks Carrie. I feel kind of bad because of made some of my relatives out to be horrible people. They aren't. They do have their issues-- no doubt about that. But I am doing what you said -- and trying to work on MY attitude. My biggest fear is that I will become like them in some ways. I really want to rise above it and break the cycle.
I don't want my daughter to be like me and have to listen to comments about people's weights and sizes. I don't want her to become self conscious, or worried about that kind of stuff. She seems to have an incredibly healthy attitude about herself and others. In this world, that's a very valuable thing to have.
I've seen extreme obesity and extreme anorexia/ bulimia. Both frightening and hard to understand.
This is a big reason why I focus on health rather than size. This is also why I've put my scale away, for now. Growing girls gain weight and I don't want her weighing herself all the time thinking she's getting too heavy. I don't think she would, but you never know when these seeds get planted about body image and impossible standards, and I want to do what I can to stop them from growing.
My in-laws have no clue that this type of comparisons and comments have anything to do with my sister-in-law's anorexia/bulimia. No clue at all -- they blame it on some guy. Maybe she didn't have a problem when she was young, but that's when those seeds are planted.

Thank you so much for the comment about your dad too. We are angry, disappointed and very very hurt. But I think we're handling things the best we can. We can't act like it's no big deal, but we want him to know we still believe in him and want to help him.
I told the other kids last night that Derek would be staying at home and going to a different school. It was comical -- they love him and enjoy his visits, but really aren't excited about him living back at home. Neither are we, to be honest. But he needs us now. And until we're confident he can handle things on his own, this is where he'll stay. Not as long as he wants, of course. If the school thing still doesn't work out, then it's time to get a job and get out on your own.
Eh- enough. Kids are great -- a true blessing -- and the biggest challenge you will ever face.

30 minutes treadmill
20 minutes exercise bike
15 minutes weights and stretching.

I switched up machines. I think it's good to do that every so often.

[nahum1_7]

I think you have the right approach, your workouts are amazing!

[Missy]

I understand why you're upset with the whole school thing...but to be honest, it might be one of the best choices he makes. I went to college for 3 years and I regret it now because I'm paying back school loans for things I'll never use. At the time, I was young and went into a program not knowing whether or not there was a future in it...but it was something I had a passion for...so I basically went to school for nothing. My current job has no connections at all to what I went to college for. Until it "fits" him and he knows exactly what it is he wants to do in life...it's better he waits.

[muppet]

You're so right about the school think Missy. We had these conversations too, before he ever went to school. Of course, we really want him to get a college education, but it won't do any good if he doesn't want to be there.
But now he says he learned a tough lesson, so hopefully taking classes and living at home will give him the structure he needs now to focus on school, and not so much socializing. I always tell my kids, "I am not an alarm clock" because I want them to be self sufficient and able to get themselves up and out of bed. But I sure don't mind being a back up for a well-timed kick in the butt to get out of bed!
I think Derek thought he could do it all -- classes, work and party hard... but he quickly discovered he couldn't keep up and the thing that suffered was classes. And boy did they suffer! Well, there won't be much partying here at home for him.
OK -- today's workout...
40 minutes elliptical.
This one was tough -- I was so tired right off the bat-- but I stuck with it and got it done.
Some days I can breeze through it, and almost hate to quit. Today was not one of those days.

[nahum1_7]

I know those days too, so proud of you for sticking with it!

[muppet]

30 minutes treadmill
10 minutes upper body
20 minutes elliptical
10 minutes abs and stretching

I'm really quite proud of how I've been working out. I've been going -- most important! --- and I've been pushing myself. I can feel the strength in my legs and rear, but I've got such a Santa belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly. Sometimes I think it might be trimming down a bit, but other times it looks as bad as ever.
I know it I would just clean up my diet I'd be seeing quicker results. And I also need to clean it up for my health. I find it too easy to give in to the 'just this once' mind set.
I have a couple of really good days then I guess must think it's ok to eat whatever I want... which just makes it harder to get back on track
Well, I need to keep up with the exercise AND clean up the diet. But at least I'm only struggling with one of these and I do think I'm making some progress.

[muppet]

30 minute elliptical
10 minutes weights, mostly upper body
20 minutes bike
15 minutes stretching and abs

Thinking lean and clean today.
I will see the results of my hard work much more clearly and sooner if I can eat the way I know I'm supposed to.
I'm doing my own personal 12 week challenge over at weigh ins. I don't need to compare myself to anyone, but I really want to take what I know and apply it and see what can happen in 12 weeks. This is going back to a book I read over a year ago, I think. Body for Life, for Women. It was sound, sensible, real advice.