Will '08 be great?

[muppet]

I weighed in this morning at 194.9 lbs. ........
Before I went so long without losing, but at least wasn't gaining, but here it comes......
And I knew it too -- clothes fitting tighter, not looking as good.
But... I recently got a new job. I haven't started yet, and it's just a little job -- like I wanted. It's doing drop-in child care at the Y. Which is great, because I love kids. It's all fun-- not like preschool where there was so much paperwork it took all the fun out of it. I think it's pretty unstructured and relaxed, just like I have always been with my own kids. Well, I wasn't completely unstructured, but I wasn't one of those 'schedule every minute' type of moms.
So, it's only a few hours in the morning and I will already be at the gym -- so no excuses!
I walked/jogged with my daughter a bit this morning. She's going out for cross country. I couldn't begin to keep up with her, but it did get me running some. Made my lungs burn! It was a good feeling to know I had pushed myself.

[muppet]

I did some more jogging yesterday, but last night my feet were starting to ache, just a bit. But I take it as a warning sign to plantar fasciitis, and I do NOT want to deal with that ever again. So this morning I just walking, but pushed myself pretty hard.
I've been thinking about why -- why I do things ( I should specify -- it's EAT things) that are not good for me, and it makes me feel bad. But when I do what I should, and eat right.. exercise... I feel so GREAT. So why -- why can I not break the bad habits and adopt the good. The rewards are so good -- and it doesn't really take that long to get to experience them. I know it takes a long time to lose weight, but it's the feeling you get -- mentally and physically-- that is something that is so desirable I would think it would be easy. Motivation? Forget about what size jeans, or how many pounds lost -- it should be enough motivation just to feel good. To have energy and the confidence, and to just be happy about being alive. What more could I want?
Instead I over-eat, and feel miserable physically and mentally. I ponder about why, but I'm not looking for excuses. Even if I don't specifically know 'why', I do know enough to stop. So, I wish I knew why, but part of me doesn't even care. Because I'm done. I am going to feel good, physically and mentally. It's all up to me.
I'm worth taking care of myself. I'm worth the time, effort, and planning that it takes. I'm worth more than a french fry or candy bar.

[muppet]

It seems like I struggle every minute of every day to not put that cookie, or candy, or whatever happens to be around, into my mouth.
I've been stronger, and kept my calories reasonable the past few days. It's shocking to me how much I can over eat, when I do keep track. Absolutely shocking.
They say Michael Phelps consumes 12,000 calories a day. He needs it because of the rate at which he burns them. That's huge-- but that man is a machine. It's just fuel to him.
It seems insane, but it doesn't take that much to consume half that, if you're not careful. I don't know that I've done that recently, but when you look at the calorie counts of foods, you can see that it wouldn't really be that tough. It's not that unusual to have a single meal be over 1000 calories. When you look at the calorie count of the fast food breakfast sandwiches, or a huge meat laden pizza--- wow.
I keep struggling, hoping that one day it won't be such a struggle.

[muppet]

I'm still watching TBL Australia on Youtube. I'm almost done with the third - this year's season. It's so good, and so much better than the US version. They don't seem to have the cheesy product placements, although they did show a few commercials that the Australian trainers were in for this certain kind of bread. But still, they focus more on what they should be eating, and how much and how hard the exercise really is. I learned that they have 'homework' -- I suppose mostly cardio, that they have to do after the trainers leave. Anyway -- it's just much more informative. They still focus on the game, and still have ridiculous temptations, but it does seem like less drama and more focus on weight loss, which I appreciate. The Aussie version airs almost every day, or at least several times a week, so there a lot to watch for every season. TBL Aus 3, is my favorite season of all.
I am failing miserably. This summer I never got into a routine for getting to the gym. I tried to do things outside, or at home, but it's obvious I'm not burning the same number of calories. Or else I'm really eating a lot more than I think -- either could be the case. And now I've got a rotten head cold -- just an annoyance. I really want to get back to the gym tomorrow.
I started working at the Y, and really like it. Right now, I don't feel comfortable staying after I get off and working out, but maybe after I get more used to it I will. I have to remember that I can always go back -- that the place is open afternoons and evenings... I'm bad -- I like to get my workout done in the morning, because it's almost a sure thing I won't get it done if I put it off. I need to get over that mentality. It's just something I will have to get used to.
My eating is inexcusable -- and totally messed up.
I'm done with this crap -- and am sick of feeling sick and crappy because of what I've been eating.
Eat good -- feel good. So simple, yet so hard.
I'd like to ask everyone who reads this to say a prayer, or send me telepathically -- however you like -- but try and send me the strength to get through the next few days without using food for comfort, or recreation, or whatever it is that makes me eat things I shouldn't. Send me strength, wisdom and a clear REAL vision of what this extra weight is doing to me --to my appearance and to my health.
Maybe if I can get a bunch of people pulling for me, it will help me get over this roadblock that I can't seem to get past.

[muppet]

I'm feeling so... GRRRR!! I don't know -- TOM started today -- maybe that's the reason. But I don't really feel like I'm in a bad mood-- but I do feel like venting, so here goes...
I'm so sick of this place being so dead. People come back and post a few times, and I start to get my hopes up that maybe there will be some life here again, but no -- then the disappear. Oh, they might show up again a few months later, but never for the long term.
I don't see how this board can be a source of support when there's no one posting. No reactions, no replies. Or too few to even mention or matter.
I realize that no one can post every day. Even though a lot of us used to.... I remember myself and several others posting in an exercise log every single day. But ok -- we're busy. And yes, this does get old. Some of us backslide or spin our wheels for so long that is seems pointless to continue.
All I know is I'm not where I want to be. And it doesn't seem to be helping to post here. Even if I have good news, or am excited about something, the response is zippo.
Missy is the only one who I am pretty sure will post here. I love seeing and hearing her results, and what her routine is. But I'd love to hear other people's too.
I wonder how many of the regular posters who were here when I started are still struggling. Or have they reached their goals? Have they given up?
No one should feel embarrassed or ashamed if things are going in the wrong direction. It happens to everyone. And if you can't take a few minutes to post a few lines in a journal, then you probably aren't taking the time necessary to keep yourself healthy. It's all about priorities.
So I'm challenging anyone who has fallen off the wagon, dropped the ball, or taken a few steps backwards to come back. Try again.
I am almost back to where I started -- almost 200 pounds again. My fault -- no excuses. I might start an exercise journal again too. I can remember wanting so bad to skip working out, but I did it, because I didn't want to have to post that I had done nothing. That's how it motivated me. It can't really do that when no one else is reading or posting, but maybe, just maybe, it will encourage someone else to start their own.
It's time to get back on the horse, wagon, or whatever cliche you want to use.
I'm calling out to you -- to oldies, and to newbies. Let's help each other through this.

[muppet]

I used Wii fit tonight. I haven't for awhile. I have been playing some of the 'sports' games. It's all fun, but it does make my chest and shoulders tight. I think I'll have to try and talk the husband into a back rub tonight. I'm looking forward to Jillian's new fitness game, and also interested in something called 'outdoor challenge', I think. It has a pad, kind of like DDR. I think it might be more geared towards younger kids, but certainly fun for anyone.
I set a new goal -- 8 pounds in 1 month. I know it will be doable, if I just eat sensibly. I am really trying to focus on health. I've been bothered by heartburn again, and I know it's because I have too much belly fat. The good thing is, the fear of the heartburn is keeping my from eating past 6 pm.
My stomach hasn't been quite itself for awhile now. It's time for me to start treating it better, and then everything else will work better too.
I work tomorrow morning, and will stay and work out. I love it at that time -- there's hardly anyone there. It's nice to have everything to myself.
I hope everyone ( all, what ... 2 of you??) are working hard and taking care of yourselves. I wish everyone success.

[muppet]

30 minutes elliptical.
15 minutes??? on the rower. My first time on that -- I liked it, and am looking forward to using it again. I decided to try it out, after seeing it used on TBL Australia.

[muppet]

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. I don't know how much more I will post. I have a hard time dealing with the silence and inactivity on this board. I might as well just journal on a site where I can count calories and track my weight too. No one else there can read it, but it's not like it gets read here anyway.
I am really trying to focus on my insides. I want to consume foods that will benefit my body. I don't want to give up all my favorites, but I have lots of food that I really do love that is good for me.
Right now though, I need to focus on portions and sweets. I've got that 'I just need a little chocolate' bug. A little here, a little there, and a little more the next day, etc.. etc....
I would really like to know the real TRUE poop on artificial sweeteners. There are conflicting reports everywhere. One says it won't harm you at all, while the ones who say it's bad are really extreme. They act like they're going to kill you. I know it has to be somewhere in between, but I would really love to know some honest to goodness facts about the stuff. How much is too much? Long term effects, if any???
I am watching this season of TBL. Oh my -- what a lot of drama. I have never hated any.. ANY.. reality show contestant before the way I hate Vicky. I have never even seriously used the word 'hate' before, regarding a tv show. But that woman has absolutely no redeeming qualities. I don't find her entertaining. I find her vile, and completely opposite of what I think this show ought to be about. She acts like she doesn't give a hoot about improving her health for her or her family. She just wants the money. She brings out the worst in reactions from me. I find myself calling her names that I would never call anyone. And for the first time ever, since watching this show, I don't even feel good about her success.
I know this is a tv show and they want ratings. I know there is tons of talk and interest because so many hate Vicky and all her little turd minions. But i am disappointed in a show that is basically about something that is positive. The game aspect is taking over and clouding all of that now. That, and all the product placement.
For goodness sake -- have we even seen any good nutritional advice that didn't involve Subway? And I don't understand promoting the sugar free pudding so much. Don't get me wrong -- it has been a sweet treat I like to enjoy, but I especially don't get adding the Cool whip. And while it might help you avoid a far more damaging sweet treat, it's hardly nutritional. It's ok once in a while, but it gets far too much tv time.
They must be making money hand over fist from all these sponsors. I know that's the goal of any tv show, but the show is losing what little integrity it had. Too much vicious game play. Too much product placement. Too little sound nutritional and physical fitness advice.
I would love to hear what Bob and Jillian really think of the show and what it has become. I think they are trying to do their jobs, but they have to comply to what the producers tell them to do.
I think Allison Sweeny is completely boring as a host. But then, that's OK for a host. I do think there could be better. The host doesn't make or break the show for me though. I kinda miss Caroline though.....

[Trying4Thin]

This season has gone down the tubes in a big way. I can't stand the sight of either Heba or Vicky. They both disgust me. Brady needs to wise up and divorce her. I don't think she has a nice bone in her body. My mother and I both think that Bob can't stand her. You hit the nail right on the head when you said you had a hard time accepting her success. I totally agree. There are soooo many NICE people who are more deserving than she is. She doesn't inspire (or give a care about) anyone but herself. In episode 1 she said she'd even vote her own husband off. I thought Heba was a cow, but Vicky is a snake in the grass. The only thing that makes me happy is that each week her jowls seem to droop and sag. It will be interesting to see what happens now that they are singles and Brady won't be there to defend her. Now would be a good time for Phil to come back. I am glad that Amy C. and Ed are doing well. Both seemed to have changed their personalities for the better. As for who is left, I like Michelle, Renee, and Amy C. Heba and Vicky can go stuff their faces for all I care. If their mouths are filled with food, nobody has to hear their nastiness. I had to laugh when Vicky said she outworked everyone in the house this week. ROFLMAO!!!!

[muppet]

I'm wondering how Vicky pulls such big numbers when she really isn't able to work out as hard, is she? I thought she had some kind of injury that made her have to take it easy during training.
there are messages on Vicky's my space page from Bob, saying how much he loves her. Puke! He must have to say it, because I can't imagine seeing anything positive in that cow.
And here I am, using such a cruel and negative term to describe someone who has weight problems. I know that the negativity comes from her personality, not from her weight, but I am still a little ashamed of myself that I think of her in that way. She is a stone-cold bitch, no matter what her size. And as I've said before, she brings out the worst in me, so imagine what she's bringing out in the people who have to live with her.
I can't stand Heba either, but she is just a childish, self-involved, self-important, moron.
All I can hope is that Amy C can survive the attacks from Heba and Vicky, and that either Heba, Vicky, or even Ed go home tomorrow night. I will be disappointed in Bob if he comes down hard on Amy. She did the absolute right thing to keep herself in the game longer. She was an outsider on the blue team. Bob has to know that too.

I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the bike after work today. My lower back is really sore. I think I need to keep stretching it out. I've been neglecting that aspect of a workout lately.