Will '08 be great?

[Trying4Thin]

I think it took a lot of gutts to admit to yourself and everyone else that you overate today. It's more than I am willing to admit and share. Don't beat yourself up over it and plan to start over again. (Easier said than done)...The great thing about life is that as long as you are breathing, there is a chance to start over again and wipe the slate clean. I give you all the credit in the world for what you have done.

[muppet]

I just wanted to own it, rather that deny or ignore it. I've done the latter, and it's gotten me nowhere. It's time to move forward.

[muppet]

We had KFC for lunch. I ate chicken breast, left most of the skin, a small helping of potatoes, no gravy, a bit of cole slaw, and a normal serving of chocolate chip cake. I was shocked after I ate and looked at the calories on the cake -- 300 for 1/6 of the cake. It's a pretty small cake! I couldn't believe it would be that loaded with calories.
I was proud that I ate the food my family was eating, but limited my portions. I also passed on a biscuit, which I love. I should have passed on the cake.
Other mistakes for today -- some chocolate -- about 200 calories worth.
Potato chips. Pringles.
Good things -- I snacked on string cheese and almonds -- a serving size, not just unlimited. I also snacked on cheerios. I find cereal to be very satisfying, but I have to watch it and eat a serving. No more of this going back for a little bit to use up the milk. I also ate yogurt with blueberries and a little bit of grape nuts for crunch. Yum!
Oh, let's see -- the rest of what I ate today was 1 bowl of frosted flakes for breakfast. Grilled chicken breast -- average serving. A glass or milk...a banana, 1 sugar free pudding cup.
Ok, I think that's it. I've done well on calcium, could do with more veggies. Probably too many carbs, but that problem would be solved if I eased up on the sweets.
My goals for tomorrow will be to keep my sweets limited to sugar free pudding and yogurt, to up my veggies and to drink more water instead of diet soda.
I also should get a good workout in tomorrow. No workout today -- because it's Sunday, and I just don't do it on Sunday, unless it's a leisurely walk or bike ride.
Random thoughts: I like the string cheese and almonds, but it leaves me wanting more. I think drinking a glass of milk is more satisfying. So maybe I should skip the string cheese, and either just drink milk or have a bowl of cheerios or something. Sugar free pudding really helps my sweet tooth. I tend to forget about it, but I need to be sure to grab that when I'm needed chocolate. I love putting my own fruit and grape nuts on vanilla yogurt. It tastes so much better to me than the kind with fruit already in them.

[muppet]

I haven't done anything today to be ashamed of. I haven't worked out yet. I might just do the Wii tonight. I always feel like that's not as tough of a workout , but I tell ya, I'm always sweating hard throughout.
I've only had a banana and broccoli for my fruits and veggies. And I still need to drink more water. But I don't think I'll worry about eating more veggies, when I don't want anything to eat.
I'm waiting to watch 'the Bachelorette' finale tonight. I don't usually get to caught up in this series, but once I start it's hard to stop. This one has been a bit more interesting than most. I think this is mostly a silly show, and terribly unrealistic, but still can be entertaining.

[muppet]

I've done very well today. I've eaten out twice at fast food restaurants, and made good choices both times. First time, I just ate a snack wrap with grilled chicken. And the second time, I ate a salad, also with grilled chicken. It was just a busy day out and about, and even though it's not ideal to eat at those kind of places, I am so grateful that they have more choices now.
My daughter left half a bag of fries, and I didn't touch even one. I acknowledged that I felt full and satisfied after eating a salad. I took off most of the cheese, and used fat free vinaigrette dressing.

I've just finished watching TBL Australia 1 on You tube. Don't worry -- I won't give away any spoilers. But I would like to make a few comments.
First of all, it seems like they show more of the actual diet and exercise on the Australian version. This may be because this show aired a few years ago -- maybe things have changed now. But it also seemed like they had a lot more episodes. It had to be on at least twice a week. So that allowed more time for that kind of stuff. I didn't see any other obvious endorsements, other than Subway. I'd never seen that hint before, to scrape out the inner part of the bread. Helpful!
I also thought that while they did play the game, they seemed more up front about it. When they water loaded, they said they water loaded and that it was part of their strategy. There was none of this 'gee, I don't know how I gained 7 pounds this week!' And when the game was played on them, I think everyone handled it with a lot of class. There was a time towards the end where there was a lot of whining, and maybe some poor sportsmanship -- can't go into detail, for those who are watching and not done yet -- but even then they seemed to come to terms better than they seem to here.
And while there was dramatic weight loss, no one seemed quite as drawn as they do here. For most of them, they still had a ways to go, and I don't think there's as many who went to drastic extremes to lose weight.
All seemed happy and healthy. Shoot -- some of their dreams was to wear a size 12! To so many here, that's still too fat! So many have that 'size 2' mentality. So it was nice to see people with more realistic achievements.
And this all may be different now. This was Australia's first season. I know there are most seasons on You tube -- I plan to watch them all eventually.
I would caution anyone who's watching to try to avoid reading other people's comments. Sometimes a spoiler can get in there. And before you know it, you've found out who wins! Not nearly as fun to watch when that happens...

Anyway, I've found it very inspirational. I cried more with these guys, and loved and hated them more than I've even done on the U.S. version. I supposed because I watched so many back -to -back episodes, and watched the whole season in a matter of a week or so, maybe you just bond more when you see so much of them every day.
I had a very clear vision of myself today. I'm not sure what I was thinking about, but I saw myself as a very fit, happy person. I sit here thinking I can't do it, there's no way.... But there's no reason why I can't. I can be fit. I can be slim. I don't have to be skinny. But I am obese. I can be so much more --- I can go from being obese to being overweight, to having a normal body weight. I can have muscle tone, energy, and the strength both physically and mentally to be the best I can be for me and my family.
I feel so gross now. Always bloated. I've done better with my diet, but I need to eat right every day, not every other day, or 3 days a week.
I have to control my food instead of my food controlling me. I can do it. I did it today.
I also tried on some clothes today -- and that sucked. Nothing fit right or looked right. My belly is so bloated---well, maybe just FAT! I don't need it. it makes me so uncomfortable. It's so bad for me --- it effects the way my body functions. Too much fat compresses internal organs. If your pants are a little too tight, it makes it that much worse.
I'm going to hang on to that vision I saw of me today . I don't mean I saw some 'vision', but that I was thinking about something in the future and saw myself as a fit person. Not like I usually do, and imagine that I'm not as fat as I am, but I was actually physically fit.

[Rocky]

Oh I'm glad you watched it! I felt the same way as you. They do have more episodes for sure, and I enjoyed seeing more of what they were eating and such in daily life. All of their healthy meals look so delicious and easy to make. I just need to go ahead and cook those kind of meals. I was very happy with the outcome of the show, they did have realistic goals which is something we don't really see in the american shows.

[muppet]

I do like their version better. I've learned more from watching this about their approaches ( the trainers) to diet and exercise than I ever learned from watching the US version. A lot more specific information anyway.
And, maybe this was super stupid of me, but I never realized that the trainers give them homework, and that they are supposed to burn so many calories in a day. I guess that would make sense. You don't really need a trainer there watching you on the elliptical or treadmill for hours, but you do need them to push you through weigh training, etc.
I also noticed that they can say **** --but it sounds like sheet! Oh sheet--- sheet , that's tough. Love it!

Oops! I got censored. That's some funny sheet!

[muppet]

I just deleted as much as I could from my weigh ins profile. I don't really know why-- I don't use the site anymore, and it's never helped too much. Not the sites fault, but most of the effort I put in there was a waste of time. You start talking with people, and it's all 'support support support', and then they just disappear.
Most challenges fizzle out. I'm guilty too, but you start out with so many, and then no one bothers to finish, or to remove themselves from the challenges. It's all just very hollow, to me. I really felt the need to clean it up, and get as much personal information off of there that I could. I know it doesn't really matter, but I guess it's symbolic for me. Not going to hang on to things that haven't helped and been a waste of time! I need to clean up the clutter -- maybe if I do some of that here, I'll do some of that in my eating habits.
We're going through some rough personal stuff here. I've been over-eating and under-exercising.
Today has been good so far. We're away from home quite a bit, so that means eating out. I didn't do so well yesterday, but I ought to be able to today.
I'm definitely an emotional eater! I was sitting at home 2 days ago waiting for news ( it's about my father-in-law, now in hospice care) and all I could do was eat. I ate myself sick. And then yesterday was a lot of sitting around, and I felt so miserable because of the way I'd eaten before.
What I wouldn't give for a normal, healthy relationship with food! What good does it to me to make myself physically miserable, when I'm already on an emotional roller coaster?
Anyway, I got a good night's sleep last night. I think that makes a world of difference for me. I know I over eat when I'm tired, looking for energy, I suppose.

[muppet]

I don't want to be one of those people who sit and complain, but do nothing to make it better. And I've become one. I not very vocal about how I feel about my weight. I guess that's why I come on here.
Maybe I should be -- maybe that's what's missing. I'm not sharing my struggles with anyone, so I have no accountability.
I don't know, and I don't want any psychology 101 to try and figure out why I do what I do. Is there some deep psychological reason why I eat things I know I shouldn't, and quite honestly, don't ever really want? Why do I sabotage myself.
Well, I could ask Oprah, or Dr. Phil, but I don't think there is any one thing I could put my finger on. I refuse to blame anyone else for my issues. I had a happy, normal childhood. Not perfect -- far from perfect, but I didn't have to go through anything so traumatic that I could say -- this is where my issues come from.
I do have issues. Self-confidence, self-worth and two things that I am lacking. At least at this moment. But I think some of these bad feelings come from my failure to act responsibly, regarding my health.
I need to stop telling myself, 'I'll do better tomorrow', and just stop. Stop eating, stop trying to fill a void with food.
I don't know -- I hate all this emotional garbage. Maybe I'm just really that lazy, or spoiled, that I won't deny myself anything.
I don't need support and/or encouragement. I need to open my eyes to reality and to face it. I am fat, and I over- eat because of emotional issues. And these emotional issues cause me to over eat even more.
So, just don't. I am worth the effort. And I know once I start to get it, it will get easier. I will be proud of myself.
Right now I am not, and I think I just hit on the biggest issue right there. I'm not proud of myself.
So... I've got to change that.
What Have You Done Today To Make You Feel Proud?
uhh -- ate egg whites and whole grain toast for breakfast
went for a walk around a lake with my daughter
got a haircut
did not get anything at the Mcd''s drive thru when my daughter wanted a little something.
I didn't tell my daughter she shouldn't eat french fries because it will make her fat -- yes, I'm proud of that. She has a normal relationship with food. She can eat fries when she wants. I do not want my food issues to become hers.

[muppet]

I've had a nice visit back home. We took a kitten to my mom -- they seem to be getting along well. My sister, daughter and I went shopping for dresses for my daughter to wear at my niece's wedding in November. My daughter and her cousin are going to be candle lighters. They didn't need anything too extravagant, but we do want them to match. They will be 12 and 13, which gets kind of tough because they aren't little girls anymore, but aren't old enough for many of the styles you see out there. Not much 'dressy' clothes for those tween girls. It all seems to have Hannah Montana, or something dumb like that. Honestly -- why do they have to plaster someone's face all over everything,from backpacks, notebooks, t shirts, etc. Drives me nuts!
But anyway, I digress.... We thought we were in for a long day of shopping and didn't have much hope we would find something we all really liked. We thought we were going to have to go to the bridal shops, and cross our fingers that they would have 2 of the same dresses, in the right style, and color for a reasonable price. Yeah, that was going to happen!
But guess what --- it did! We went into a department store that had a nice section of junior formal wear. I think they had just gotten a shipment of dresses, probably for homecoming dances, or something. Because they had the perfect thing -- right color -- adorable style, fit my daughter perfectly, and it an easy fit dress, so I'm sure it will fit her cousin too. They had 2 in the right size-- and it was under $70. We were kind of in shock -- it couldn't be that easy! And then we found matching shoes too-- so it was a successful trip all the way around.
It was a nice visit, except I completely threw in the towel as far as trying to eat healthy. Restaurants give you too much food, even when you try and keep it small. But it's not their fault that I eat it. And maybe my calories weren't as bad as I think, but I just couldn't make myself worry about it. You go visit people, and food is always involved. So that's what we did. I have to say, it was pretty miserable. Not moving around enough, and then over-eating, doesn't do your digestive system any favors. All I can say is not that we're home and I have more control over what, when and how much I eat, I should be feeling better.
But now that was a ridiculous statement. I might not have control over when we eat, but what and how much is always in my hands. I just did the big cop out and said 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. I think because I have been doing bad at home too, it's not going to work to start eating right when you're eating out, when you haven't even been doing it at home.
I'm feeling fat, bloated, and not fit at all. I did a nice walk this morning -- some big hills that got my heart rate up and got me sweating, and I also did weights and other toning exercises today. It feels good.