It's Time For A New Life

[Patty_Ann]

Carrie...did you talk to them about weighing you but not letting you know the weight but one time a week? Try that...remember your weight flunctuates throughout the week...daily. Keep your head up Girlie! You are still doing great!

[Trying4Thin]

I tried to close my eyes today; but I just couldnt. Then came the comment, "You are up a little again today." At that point I just wanted to rip the darn thing out of the wall and run. I think they knew I was ripped because they didnt keep me today. That and I intended to put my journal down on the desk and it flew out of my hand. Now that I am done with the health dept until next month when they come back to check my broken garbage disposal (maintance is going to remove it since I keep having problems); I am going to be living at the gym. Enough is enough. I cant believe how much cash I put into this program and I feel like I am getting nothing but a headache. Bet if I exercised my brains out I would still be getting nowhere. If I am not in the low 130's at 22 weeks; there is going to be a real problem. That is 6 weeks to get my pounds to steppin'. Or I WILL pull that scale out of the wall.

[Trying4Thin]

Having a horrid weekend all around. Ended up working 11 hours yesterday and I came home exhausted and cranky. PMS is winding down finally so I can get back to business. Lived in the microwave this weekend. NOT GOOD. But tomorrow is a new week and I am now officially putting me, myself and I first. When it comes to work; I am forgetting how to say yes; unless the right person asks me. (No, begs.) Boot camp begins this week. I am starting over with everything...No, that isnt true because I am not back where I began years ago. I am just changing the jumping off point. New chance with my diet, exercise plan, view of work, LA Weight Loss experience, and Eric. Should be an interesting couple of months.



"If you plant the seeds for success in your life; flowers will grow and make for a brighter future. Pull out the weeds of failure and despair. There is no room in the garden of life for them."

[Patty_Ann]

Carrie...when they said that you were up a little what did they mean by that? How much are you up? If it isn't that much then you really shouldn't worry too much about it...we all have our downtimes but you just have to remember that being weighed 3 x a week just isn't healthy in any way. I'm sorry to hear that you are not satisfied with LA Weight Loss - have you told them that it is upsetting to you that you are not losing?

How are you doing? It sounds like you are ready to kick butt again...I'm right there with ya girl! Dan left today for his training - he is on the road at this time...so it is MY time to kick butt and lose it before he comes back home.

[Trying4Thin]

These past couple of weeks are really starting to take their toll on me. I have been up, down, and all around the emotional rollercoaster. It sucks. And once again I handled it very poorly. Diet derailed, cell phone acting up, trouble connecting to the internet, Eric issues, work ticking me off...

Tomorrow I am going to juice again. I havent gotten on the scale because I am scared. I dont need to be anymore depressed than I already am. In any case; my parents want me to come home for a quick weekend in October (6-8) so I HAVE TO get back on track. I am going to push to be at the low 140's-high 130's by then. If I am 110% committed; I can pull this goal out. I am starting to feel sluggy and that is not a good sign. It means I am putting weight back on. NOT ACCEPTABLE. So tomorrow I comence the ass kicking again. I do feel better when I am sweating. I am not going to work out anymore; I am going to TRAIN. I have always said that I perform the best when my back is to the wall; well it is crunch time again. I am not going to go home looking like I havent changed.

[Rocky]

YOU CAN DO IT!!! Your motivation seems to be there, now it's just a matter of applying it! And I know you can do it! Just think about how good you feel after a good work out before you go. That always helps me to get there.

[mifsit]

YOU WILL DO IT. 110% commitment is nothing compared to 100% faith in yourself. I have faith in you and its time you had some in yourself.

[Missy]

Carrie...as much as you are frustrated and as much as you want to give up. You know deep inside that YOU CAN DO THIS! You need to do something or keep a momento close to you at all times, to remind you of all the weight you have lost already. Pack a backpack full of weights that equal up to around 68 pounds and carry it on your back for awhile....only then will you get a sense of just how far you have come. Don't give up girl, you know you have it in you to get to the finish line.

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks guys,

Well I wish it were 68 pounds; but I can feel that it isnt. I knew that I had lost weight when I couldnt "feel" my body weight dragging me down anymore. Well now I can feel it again. Right now I am disgusted with myself but I will get through this. Today I was getting ready for work and I had a revelation. I feel I am the way that I am because I like to take care of people, feel needed and wanted. But lately that has not been the case. Right now; the man that I love more than anything (and who I want to make so very happy) doesnt feel the same about me (right now). Work tells me that I am "too helpful" and I feel like I can help everyone else out there but myself. Even in my darkest hours I can still motivate others; getting myself out of the weeds is an entirely different story. That is why I know that I am destined to be a weight loss counselor. But judging from my behavior lately and my lack of progress; I honestly think that LA wont give me the time of day. So that will be somebody else who doesnt need or want me or my help. I feel like I (or anyone else for that matter) will never see my full potential if I cant ever get this weight off. Eric said he would try to make time for us to do things together and I could call him if I wanted to do something. I really want to; but I have gained some weight back and the bigger reason being; I dont want to mess this up. We were given another chance and I dont want to louse it up by doing something stupid. I dont know how to talk to the manager about an interview. I thought I had been more than forward without being pushy or desperate. They have talked about it between counselors about me becoming one of them so it's not like they dont know. I dont know if they are just putting me off because they dont want to tick me off and tell me I am not what they are looking for, or what. If they turn me down; I still have to go to the center and deal with them until my contract is up (unless I change centers which would be a royal pain). I dont know how to get back to the place where I was when I was so proud of all my progress and how I looked. Every day I try and every day it gets harder. This would be so much easier if Eric were by my side. But we cant be together right now. I guess I will have to wait for his heart, but I am not going to wait to get my health back. I just want off this rollercoaster for good. I was just beginning to step out of the fat suit and now it is sucking me back in. Is anyone ever going to tell me yes??

[Missy]

Don't try to be too upset Carrie. If LA Weight Loss doesn't hire you, there are tons of other places you can apply for the same type of work.