It's Time For A New Life

[muppet]

I'll let you know! But, don't hold your breath. It's not top of our priority list at the moment. Our son is a Senior this year -- college on the horizon, and extra 'senior' expenses every time we turn around, will probably suck up any extra money we might have lying around ( yeah, like we have ever had extra money lying around!)
I just need to tell my husband it would REALLY turn me on, to have a jacuzzi tub. That nothing makes me feel sexier than a long hot bath -- then I might get him to see the light!!!

[Trying4Thin]

Glad you said that and not me! Cuz I was going to suggest something to sway him to your side of the discussion.....

Yeah college isnt cheap either. The cost of books alone is sending people to the poor house!

[Trying4Thin]

Seth


Hey everyone!

I posted this picture because I needed some, "In my face inspiration." I remember when Jillian was asking the guys what they wanted to weigh and Seth answered. I dont remember Jillian's exact reply (it was something like, "let's get to this X weight first"; but Seth shocked everyone and beat his initial "wish weight." This just goes to show you what you can do when you give it 1,000%. Bet his wife is now fending off women with a stick!! I wonder if he ever got his personal training certification?

I began cleaning this morning (woohoo!). I am going to go little by little so I dont just stop altogether because I am stressing so much. I am really sorry that I procrastinated this long. Things really are more stressful when they are cluttered. I dont need 3/4 of the stuff I have, so now is the time to just kiss it goodbye. I guess the same can be said for my body as well. I am an apartment packrat with old mementos etc and my body is a water and fat packrat.The more excess junk and toxins that are in your system; the more stress it will be under and the less it will be able to function properly. All of our environments need a cleanse from time to time. Nothing better than starting over with a clean space and a new determination to succeed.

[Missy]

I think I am going to spend the day cleaning my apartment too. It always seems to get so messy, especially since the kitties are always playing and getting litter all over the carpet.

Thanks for posting that pic, it was just what I needed.

[Trying4Thin]

I hate cleaning! I feel like I am getting nowhere!! Problem being I left too much for me to do and I feel like it will never get done. Too bad BL isnt on so I could watch and clean at the same time. I cant blast the radio because I have neighbors. I did find my ring that I had misplaced. I kinda wish I hadnt because a while back I gave it to Eric. Of course it landed in a drawer. But it does have good significance too. When I began, it was tight on me and now it is falling off. It is a size 10. Yeah I had (and still have) chubby fingers. Occasionally when I walk outside they blow up to the size of sausage links. Scary to think they were almost that size permanently. Gloomy and rainy outside today. Typical Ohio weather. Staying in the 60's today. Thats ok because I dont plan on going anywhere at this point. I have too much to get done around here. But as lousy as I feel right now; I still dont have to report back to work until Tuesday. That feels really good. I am sure it wont come payday; but I value my sanity more than my tiny paycheck. I wont be there forever....Which is why I have to get back on track...NOW! I want to have an application in by no later than December. I would also like to take some weight loss counseling classes next semester. My father says I should be a personal trainer because then I can say whatever I want. LA Weight Loss has guidelines and will undoubtedly censor every piece of advice that comes out of my mouth.

[muppet]

I think I agree with your Dad. I think you are probably smarter than most of those counselors, and probably have better philosophies. But, it might be a good place to start. If you worked there for awhile, you would undoubtably gain knowledge, confidence, and maybe even some potential clients.

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone,

Made progress today cleaning; but I still have a long way to go. I guess it would be a lot easier if I werent so depressed right now. I just feel like putting my head down and crying for the rest of the day. That or calling Eric; but I know that would not help because he would get upset. It has been 12 days since I have attempted to call him. I will respect his wishes; but it is killing me. I wish I knew if he was hurting as badly as I am. Most likely not; or he would have written me more than two sentences on Thursday. Maybe he is waiting to see if I really have changed. I dont know why I am so upset? I brought all of this on myself by taking our friendship for granted by pushing for something more instead of just giving it the chance to happen. I just wish he would at least talk to me. I really miss him very much. Deep down I know he cares about me. And I know that he wants the best for me. He has said and written that many times. But what he doesnt get is that the best person for me is him. On my birthday of all days he said that he wasnt afraid of anything happening between us and if he were, then he wouldnt see me. Well now he is not seeing me. He seems to have this same theory with the other girl not wanting to see him. Um no, trust me that isnt the reason. He said that if you spend time together you end up liking what you are are around (whether it is good or bad for you) and he doesnt want to like me and our fighting. How many times do I have to tell him that I have passed that point and I am ready to move on purely as friends??? I just want one more shot at our friendship to show him how wonderful I really am when I am not bogged down by stupid *&^%. I just wish he would listen to me and just trust me. All I have ever wanted to do was make him happy. I had so many plans for us now that I wasnt held back by my weight and stupid insecurities anymore. I wanted to share everything with him.

[Trying4Thin]

Well I pretty much stayed on task today (foodwise)....
I didnt work out today at all. Cleaning for me is not a workout. At 214 just breathing was a workout. I am also not going to get my water in either. But I will list what I ate to remind myself that I am in control again.

6:00am 2 LA Lite Bars (Chocolate Coconut Almond)

9:00am LA Meal Replacement Protein Shake (Chocolate)

12:00pm Yogurt and 7 Almonds

1:25pm 1 Vegan Veggie Burger, 6 Ritz Low Fat Crackers

6:20pm Salad w/Chicken (BK), Apple Slices and Purple Grapes

All that is left is:

1 Fruit Serving
1 Vegetable Serving

At least I dont have to worry about cheating today. I am more worried about picking up the phone, rather than eating something bad. Luckily he is at work now and I deleted his cell number so I cant call. I swear I am going insane....I just want to get to 120 pounds and go find him and show him what I am really made of. I am not scared anymore. This is hell on earth right now to feel so completely alone and unloved by the man you know you were made for.

[Patty_Ann]

Glad to see that you made progress in your apartment...I really need to clean, too. I just hate cleaning not knowing if I'm going to be living here for much longer...I mean deep cleaning and unpacking the boxes that are in here. I know what ya mean by having chubby fingers...I can remember when I was a senior in high school I had to order a size 9 for my class ring - Hello...I was only 110 lbs then. I now have a goal to fit into my wedding ring - it is size 10...still won't fit but it will before the end of the year. I REFUSE to resize it up again.

[Missy]

I know what you mean about the rings as well. I have a nice ring my parents gave me for graduating. It's a size 9...I couldn't get it on before..I can almost wear it now but it's still a wee big snug....soon