It's Time For A New Life

[mifsit]

Carrie, send him a bunch of flowers and tell him you miss him, he won't be expecting that.

I'm not a big fan of remakes but agree Steve Martin is a great comedy actor. I'll still give pink panther a miss though, Peter Sellers was a comedy genius and I've heard bad things about this new version.

I'm glad you did the bike and even if it was gentle it is still a workout. Be careful of your knee, try some upper body stuff until it feels better.

[muppet]

I love Steve Martin too. We own 'The Jerk', 'All of Me', and 'Cheaper by the Dozen'. I'd really like to get 'The Man with 2 Brains'. I don't think that was a hit of his, but it made me laugh. I saw it once in the bargain bin at Wal Mart. Don't know why I didn't buy it!
I'm glad you're doing what you can. I know how frustrating it is when you have an injury that slows you down, but it really is best to let it heal.
I like Phil's idea of sending him flowers. Just a little 'I'm thinking of you, and I miss you' gesture. Sweet!
Carrie -- I WANT QUIZNOS!!!!! Sometimes a subway sandwich can get me through these times, but it's not going to work this time. I don't need to go to Des Moines for anything for a whole week!!!!! You can be sure I'll be hitting the first Quiznos I see!!!
Do you really need to lose any more weight to talk to LA weighloss about a job? I mean, I know they don't want someone terribly overweight trying to sell their program, and counsel people, but you certainly aren't that! I have a sneaking suspicion you are in much better shape than you give yourself credit for, and you are just thinking you have to meet these practically impossible standards in order to be considered.
I would think any fitness and weightloss program would be about being in the best physical condition for YOU, not meeting some cookie-cutter standards. And Carrie, with all the weight you've lost, and all you know and are willing to learn about nutrition and exercise, you are a shining example of what can be achieved. Best of luck to you!
Carol

[Missy]

Hopefully your guy decides to go to the movie with you. If not, don't let it be the end of your world. That part only plays a small part in your life...you and your goals should be the top priority in your life. It's nice to add a person to compliment it, but it shouldn't be the only reason you live.

[Trying4Thin]

Well I survived the scale. I am down 0.6 pounds. So I am back to 154.2. I am mildly annoyed since I know that I dont physically look that number. They keep reminding me that I am packing a lot of muscle. And I think I still have pms weight hanging around. Should be gone within the week. I am just glad the scale is going in the right direction. I cant (and wont) accept another gain.



I never said that I was going to die if we didnt go to a movie on Tuesday. I would be hurt; but not thinking my life was over. I know he has a busy schedule and so do I. I want to see him looking my best from here on out. So if plans do fall through; I will just use the extra time to work on me. I am not afraid to send flowers but he would freak out. I have already told him enough how much I want to be with him and how I feel about him and he doesnt want to hear it because he cant say it back right now. Flowers would be pushing it. I do make sure to tell him that I miss him when I get the chance. Call it overkill for all the times I couldnt reach for his hand first etc. So right now I am going to back off. I know he will soon realize that I have been the right one for him all along. He did tell me not too long ago that he isnt afraid of anything happening between us. I know that if he were; I'd most likely never see or hear from him again.

Somebody (Carol I think) asked when I was going to ask about a job at LA Weight Loss. They already know I am interested. I would just like to have a stronger track record with their program behind me. I do not want to be a weight loss counselor with a weight problem. That to me is extremely contradictory. I wouldnt be able to "sell" the diet to anyone. Not to be rude but, that is like taking advice from Oprah. The woman cant stabilize to save her life. I want to set a positive example. If a client were to ask me about my experiences; I could whip out a before picture and then they would know that I wasnt just another in shape counselor trying to follow a script just for a commission. Forget that...I have LIVED it. Everyone needs to experience what life is like for somebody who is obese. Those that have never walked a day in our shoes could never understand what it's like. That type of experience cant be taught in any class. It has to be FELT both physically and emotionally. I have oodles of respect for Tyra Banks, Dr. Phil's son, and Vanessa Minillo (Nick Lachey's latest fling) for all donning huge fat suits and walking around town with a camera crew to tape people's horrible treatment towards people of considerable size. The only difference being that at that end of the day; all three can go back to being slim and HOT, and the "real" people with the real weight have to wake up and repeat those horrible memories again and again until something changes. I would love to be able to change the world and how they treat people who are overweight and obese. I realize that racism is against the law, sexual discrimmination is also against the law. But why is it "ok" to harass and discrimminate a 350 pound human being??

~Carrie

[helena]

hello carrie!!!!!!
you are right, it is not alright to make fun of obese people, but people do!!!! they think that just because you are big that you are stupid and you dont have feelings!!!!!!


you sound sooooooooo positive, the last time i read your journal you sounded so down!!!! and now you sound so up beat!!!!!
you are one of the reasons that i love this forum!!!!!!
ahhhhh i feel like a big group hug!!!!!! lol!!!!

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks for all the positive feedback with my journal. I know that I tend to be on both sides of the spectrum (both extremely positive and extremely negative). Well we all have things we need to work on right? That is one of mine. Twelve years of insecurities and poor body image wont go away overnight. I know I have changed so much; but my brain hasnt quite registered that fact quite yet. People are quick with a compliment these days and I am just as quick to be super critical of myself. It will take some time but I know I will get both my brain and body on the same page.

On the topic of why people feel the need to make fun of overweight people....I could write a 1,000 page thesis on it. I hope to get the chance to one day. It sickens me. There are a few topics that when brought up I can get very mouthy about and that is one of them. Despite the fact that I am lousy in Science and Math; the topic of Nutrition fascinates me to no end. I want to find out why some things are good and others are bad. What exactly is used for fuel and what is discarded. Pros and cons of certain nutrients etc. It isnt enough to just know facts about a certain topic; I want to understand them.

Chomping at the bit to get another ITunes card. Those things are more addictive than pizza and whoppers! Amen to that...Trying to find some Podcasts (free) on weight loss, but the few I have listened to appear to be just fluff. I wish Bob or Jillian had one.

I think I want to go walking tonight and give my behind a rest from the bike, but once again there are storms in the forecast. "Hell's Kitchen" is on tonight!! My one tv show I am allowing myself. Cant wait to see what happens tonight.

Keep up the good work everyone!
~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Just got back from another trek around campus. If felt good to hit the pavement again, despite the yucky amount of humidity in the air. One hour and three minutes, 301 calories burned, 60% fat burn. LA Weight Loss is going to put me on a skin tightener starting Friday. Once again, I am skeptical...but I would do anything to help with the tightening process. I am losing fat and my skin is getting really saggy. Gross I know. If this stuff works, I guarantee I will sell the heck out of it. I hate looking flabby and my clothes not looking right. I didnt lose all this weight just so I can look fat still. Surviving this without surgery would be great. Although I have a feeling I will need a little done. But anything is better than the Gastric Bypass Surgery or the Bariatric Surgery I would've killed to have had not so long ago...how times have changed. How I have changed...

~Carrie

[mifsit]

whats a skin tightener? btw after my wife lost her weight there was a lot of spare skin left which she hates. The doctors said the only way to get rid of it was surgery since no amount of dieting or exercise will shift it (spare sking that is). She decided to put off making any decision until after we had children.

[Trying4Thin]

Well it is Tuesday afternoon and guess what I am doing tonight? So far; a whole lotta nothing. I pretty much expected not to get a call back about going to a movie tonight. By not expecting a call; when it didnt come (as of 3:14pm) I didnt get my hopes up so I cant get hurt. Well for the most part it did work. I am not hurt; but it could be worse. A lot worse. Well I am determined to make this work for me. The longer he goes without seeing me; the more of a shock he will get when he finally does see me. I guess the reason why this is all "ok" with me is because I have finally realized that there will never be anyone else for me but him. So if he wants me; great. If not; then I am ok with spending the rest of my life alone. I can honestly say that I feel relieved that I have found the one guy that I want in a sea of millions out there. There is something so peaceful about that. I spent years wondering if there was "the one" out there, and now I know that there is. I guess knowing that is enough for me. Although there are times I wish I had never met him because then I would never know what I was missing (feeling so completely in love with somebody). Sometimes it is truly better to never know what you are missing, than to get a little taste of it and then to never experience it again. Before him; (and for a good deal after), the only thing I loved nearly as much...maybe even a little more was food. Maybe if I had loved myself just a little more and food a little bit less, then he and I would be together by now. But food destroyed my life and I am determined to see that it never happens again. Assuming it isnt too late. Why wasnt I preparing all along to meet the love of my life? Because I gave up on ME. I didnt think that anyone would ever want me. Well I believed it and it came to pass. Maybe if I had told myself that somebody would want to be with me some day; then somebody would. "My guy" hates the fact that I gave up on myself. It wasnt the weight; it was the overall attitude. I would do anything to reverse this mess. But I cant and now I have to ride it out and accept what fate has delt me. I just hope and pray that it isnt a lifetime of nights alone.
Phil, the tightner is "supposed" to shrink fat cells so I lose inches and my skin wont look so droopy. At this point what do I have to lose? I will give it one month. If it doesnt work, I wont be out a ton of money. I just want my damn life back that food stole from me years ago. I am not shirking responsibility; food walked in and I just let it take over. I think I have been through enough teary nights and I have learned my lesson. When is what I truly desire going to come to me? It's not like I am just sitting around waiting for it to just happen. I am really working for it.

~Carrie

[Missy]

Do you know if the skin tighening cream is sold in stores or just through LA Weight Loss? I'd be interested in something like this as well. I hope you find it beneficial. Sorry to hear your guy didn't call, but it's good to hear you staying positive. Your journal is one of the ones I can't wait to read every single day...because I love hearing about your progress and hard work. You always inspire me to keep going.