It's Time For A New Life

[mifsit]

I'm a member of the 90's "playstation" generation and love bands such as Metallica, Nine Inch Nails, Prodigy, Chemical Bros as well as more chilled out stuff, Alanis Morisette, REM and so on. I can reccomend Prodigys fat of the land for a good workout.

[Trying4Thin]

I like Metallica, Alannis, and REM. Not that into Prodigy. Then again I never really gave them a chance.

Just got back from my weigh in. I am back up the 0.4 I lost. This friggen rain wont go away. I dont mind the rain; it's the t storms I dont want to be caught in. I think I can pretty much kiss my goal of 149 by July 1st goodbye. I am really getting peeved off.

[mifsit]

just listening to pink floyd momentary lapse of reason. Carrie make July 4th your target for 149. thats 11 days to go and I'm sure you'll get there. 0.4lbs.. was probably just from being wet through from the rain.

[Missy]

I have always liked working out to songs by AC/DC or Madonna. No Doubt's "Hella Good" song is awesome too.

I agree with Phil, change your goal to the 4th of July and I'm sure you'll make it! You always push yourself so hard anyways and I'm sure you can get there.

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone,
Well it is just about 8pm and I think I am going to call it a night. It has been a long day and I just want to forget about it. Work decided to take advantage of me (and possibly other people) with our schedules this week. What is the point of having an availability if they just ignore it? I have told them a few times not to schedule me past 12:30 pm. I dont care if it is 2 mins past or an hour past; if it happens again I wont show up to work that day. Their excuse was a stupid one. They are damn lucky I held my tongue. Now that I am not jockeying for a full time position anymore I dont have to be nice. I know that LA Weight Loss is eyeing me for a position; I can feel it. As soon as this weight is gone I am putting in an application there. It is just that after going great guns; I am now feeling like I am losing my mo-jo. I have zero desire to get off my ass and it is getting to me. I have got to get the scale moving in the right direction again. To make matters worse; I overate today. Didnt eat anything I wasnt supposed to; just too much period. Next week will be different. Storms or no storms; I will find a way to work out. It's not like I dont have enough stuff to listen to now. I am just using the scale as a crutch to be lazy. Well no more. My job sucks and I want out. The only way I can get out is if I lose the weight. 34.8 pounds to lose is a heck of a lot better than 94. I need a chalkboard so I can practice writing "I will not sabotage myself any further because I am worth it." 100 times should do it. Anyway, I am getting cranky since I didnt take a nap today so I am going to get a move on. I have to work at 6:45 am tomorrow. Wow, I can sleep in for once.....Although I cant sleep in anymore really. I am usually here checking for the midnight spammers. I cant believe some of the *&%$ I have been deleting. These people are sick. This forum is turning into a full time job. Hope you guys are having better luck this week! I know a few of you lost some pounds and/or made great food choices. Keep it up! Eventually all of those small penny sized changes you are making will add up...into a dollar, five dollars, ten....equalling HUGE CHANGES!

~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone,
Well the sun is finally out and it is looking like a great day. I still have zero motivation to get out and exercise; but I am going to do it anyway. It has been a week and three days (the day the scale first went up), since I lost my desire to move. It is a mental roadblock that I have to kick out of the way on my road to success. But now that the dreaded pest is leaving town, I should see a dip in the scales again. I am anxious to see some new numbers again. I was even contemplating going through the two day juice hell again. But I dont want to lose the weight and then turn around and regain it just by eating again. However, I am desperate to see some new numbers again and I wont rule it out completely. I want to do this on my own with minimal help from dietary "aides" unless I get crazy desperate. I am going to come up a little short on food today; but no big deal. I am full and I am not going to force myself to eat when I dont want to because that is a bad habit to pick up. So today is the 24th, and that means there are only 6 days left in the month to get to 149 pounds. I dont care if it is 149.9, just as long as I can wave goodbye to the 150's. I think I might be able to pull this off. Some of it is water retention and that should come off with no effort. I always perform my best when my back is up against a wall. When my back is against a wall; I come out fighting. When my back is against a wall; I can do the impossible. I just need to envision what I will look like 5 pounds from now; and then 10. I like what I see....
I have learned a lot about myself in the past few months. I DO deserve to be loved by somebody. That was a huge part of my problem before. I am no longer afraid to love with my full heart; and I am not afraid to receive love either. I AM beautiful both on the inside and the outside. I was never ugly in the true sense of the word. The person I became on the inside became ugly from being hurt; and that made me ugly on the outside. I can control what happens to me and that I may not be able to erase the mistakes of my past; but I can make damn sure that they dont get repeated. Never again will I see 200+ pounds. Never again will I ache from walking a short distance. Never again will I wear an XL, or have trouble fitting into clothes I want to wear. Never again will food become my best friend. Never again will I push away the people I love because I am terrified to let them in to see the real me. Never again will I be afraid to reach for "my guy's" hand (first) to hold; if he will ever feel that comfortable with me again and let me hold his hand. Never again will I be the way that I was....EVER.

Gahhhh...I need sun. My left arm is darker than my right from driving. Other than that, I look really white. Yuck...Wish my arms were more toned so I could go sleeveless and get a real arm tan. I know how to fix that...start lifting again.


~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Morning everyone,
I think I need a soccer style sized kick to get my ass in gear. All I did yesterday was a bunch of sit ups. Tried to do some squats with a barbell and my right knee wouldnt have it. So it looks like I am back to walking. There are storms in the forecast again. (What a surprise.) I am dreading my weigh in tomorrow like you wouldnt believe. I cant believe what a huge black hole I am stuck in right now. That juice fast is starting to look like a good option at the moment. I am not giving up; just getting very annoyed with my scale jumping again. I would kill to be 148 again. Then I will have officially crossed over into "overweight" and not "obese" category. That alone would mean so much. As soon as I am paid on Friday, I am going to pay the balance at my gym and I am going to go and reintroduce myself to the treadmill. It has been way too long. I dont know what I am afraid of. It's not like I am going back there a failure. I weigh less than I did when I was there last. Well maybe not; but my shape has majorly changed. I need to start gulping water again since my overall consumption has been way low. Everyday is a fight not to pick up the phone and call "my guy." I am hoping that he will get around to missing me enough at some point and want to do something. By then I am hoping to look completely different. Everyday without him by my side is complete hell. Yes I can survive without him; I just choose not to. And knowing that right now he doesnt return my feelings is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I wish I could be put out of my misery one way or the other. Like being able to see the future and knowing if we will ever be together as more than friends. This waiting is killing me. I dont think our paths crossed just so he could be the one to break my heart. You dont hold somebody that close, the way he held me and claim that you dont have those feelings (and never did, that it was just friends). I think he is just as scared of getting hurt as I was back then. And I did hurt him...badly. Fear can convince you of anything. To do something; to not do anything at all. In the beginning I was too scared to ever reach for his hand unless he reached for mine first; now I would do anything to be able to hold his again. But he wont let me touch him...unless he comes over and grabs my arm to see if I have any muscles. Yeah I do; but like the rest of my newly acquired muscles; they are still encased in a layer of fat that just wont budge. All the miles I have walked, run, hill climbed; and I still have an ass the size of Antarctica. Is this ever going to end? Will I ever see the light of day as a thin woman? As "my guy's" girlfriend? I know that if he were to ask me to be his girlfriend, he would never want to let me go. But right now I am the only one who can see that. I guess all things will be revealed in time. I just wish there were a fast forward button like in the new Sandler movie.
Life is too short to be just sitting around waiting for things to happen. You have to seek out the opportunities and "encourage" them to happen, by giving fate a nudge.

~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Ok enough sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself. I may possibly be going to a movie with "my guy" on Tues. But I am not going to get my hopes up. He is busy and so am I. I hadnt realized it had been 11 days since we had spoken. He said he thought about calling me. I hate when he does that because it makes me feel bad that he didnt follow through. He said it should make me feel good (that he thought about it). At least he does think about me a little when we arent together. I will take what I can get. Things are going to drastically change between us in the next few months I can feel it. There are days that I honestly dont even recognize myself anymore. So I am sure that he will see the inner and outter changes that have taken place with me. Everyone else has.

I am now going to sweat my way through a remake of the, "Pink Panther." I have always been a huge fan of Steve Martin's work. A scene from one of his and Goldie Hawn's movies was filmed in the town next to my home town in MA. I just want to hear him say AAAH-MBURGERRR....with that Clousseau inspired French accent.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I am crossing my fingers and toes that this site will now be SPAM FREE with a new addition that Aaron has recently added. Spammers can still register; but I havent seen a post yet.

~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Finally exercised. Biked for 1 hour and 33 mins. Calorie burn was way low. Only 163; but 60% of that was fat calories. But it is 163 calories I wouldnt have burned just sitting on my tail. I am proud of myself for getting back on track again. One day at a time.

"Pink Panther" was really cute. Steve Martin is always good for a laugh. Hope to hear good news from you all soon.

~Carrie

[amandads]

The way I look at it any calories I burn up is better than the ones I put on. I hope you can fine happiest soon.