It's Time For A New Life - Page 61 - The Biggest Loser Fansite Forums

Trying4Thin · #**601** (**permalink**) 06-18-2006, 05:46 PM

Hi everyone,
Well once again it is Sunday and the only thing I have done so far is mastered the art of sitting on my butt. I loaded my favorite Audiobook onto my IPod and it took forever...and then some. Not sure why, the cds are in perfect condition but the dvd drive kept slowing down to a crawl.
I am almost positive that I am going to be up again tomorrow. I am thinking it is pms week. Although earlier today I looked at myself in the mirror and my waist seemed tiny. (Compared to usual). Now that it is mid afternoon, it is back to normal. I am starting to see more of my collar bone and cheek bones (at a certain angle). That is kinda exciting.
Yes I am happy about the direction that my life is now taking, but depressed about other areas. I hate hurting like this; but I have to follow my heart. If "my guy" and I do end up together I will be able to say that it will have all been worth it. I cant help that I wish he had more time to spend with me. How can he know and see how much I have changed if we only see each other in a blue moon? I have gotten so much smaller since he last held me. I cant even remember when the heck that was. I know I would be a great girlfriend. He said he never had those feelings for me but I think he did; but he got hurt that night almost three years ago, and now he doesnt trust me. What is it going to take to get him (and everyone else) to realize that I am not that Carrie anymore? He says he feels uncomfortable around me because he thinks I am more concerned with getting something than enjoying what we have. If I didnt want to spend time with him; I wouldnt. I dont waste my time with people I dislike. We all have to grow up sometime; and I have. There are times I wish I could just get my feelings for him to go away and it would be easier on us both. But every day they get stronger and that is why I know he is my soulmate. I dont care who else (in the future) may hit on me. I am not interested. I know I am nuts, but I know what my heart is telling me.
Well I should probably admit that in the past couple of weeks; I have become a full blown ITunes addict. Better that than back to food. If anyone has more musical suggestions for me; I am more than willing to listen. One of the dispatchers at work has downloaded some stuff from ITunes as well and has also loaded most of her cds onto her Macintosh laptop...she has over 4,000 songs...So I have my work cut out for me. I am around 1,300 right now. (And gaining). I wish they would put BL on there. They just have the workout dvd.
In case you havent noticed; it would appear that Aaron is back. Guess we gotta behave now...(haha). I am hoping that in the coming weeks we can get some new "members" who will last past one post. I am not referring to our new spammer friends. I am wondering what happened to the guy we had a couple weeks ago who (like me) had a Whopper and Cheese addiction. I consider you guys my family and when I dont hear/see you for a while...I worry. Anyone hear from EHyatt or Lady Jami? Typical woman; I worry/care too much.
Here's hoping you guys have a great weekend and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon!

~Carrie

Patty_Ann · #**602** (**permalink**) 06-18-2006, 09:37 PM

Hi Carrie! I'm sorry that I haven't been in lately - I am having some personal issues here at home. I'm glad to hear that you can see your collar bone - I know how it feels b/c I can actually see my adam's apple in my throat. I have lost so many inches off my throat - it is all exciting. I can remember seeing my waist line again...I couldn't believe it. I am trying to get an iPod from my mom for my birthday - I would love to get one...I would probably be like you and get addicted to iTunes...lol.

I must say - I can feel your pain for your guy. The personal issue I am dealing with is with my husband. It is awful to love someone so much and get burned by them...I don't know if you got burned but I sure have. I am not going to go into details but I can feel your pain...never give up on what your heart desires.

Take it easy!

Missy · #**603** (**permalink**) 06-19-2006, 10:54 AM

Hey Carrie, just got caught up on all your posts since I was away this weekend. I gained a few pounds too...let's kick some butt this week!!

I really like your Boot Camp idea. I think that would be awesome to spend tons of time just working out. I'm sure you'll be at your goal weight in no time.

I really hope things with your guy turn out okay. He doesn't know what he's missing!

Good luck on your weigh in!

Trying4Thin · #**604** (**permalink**) 06-19-2006, 07:32 PM

Hi everyone,
Well I did more running around today and no nap. That is why I am zonked at 7:28pm. Yikes "Hell's Kitchen" is on tonight...Cant miss that!

I am rather grouchy right now from dealing with my car today. E Check is pointless. Why have it when cars like mine flunk and others that you can smell a mile away are allowed on the road undisturbed???? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I weighed in today and I am up 0.4 pounds. This is getting ridiculous already. (Total 1.8 gain). But this week should be bitch & moan week so I kinda have an excuse. Knee didnt bother me today and I did do some walking (plus carrying a large bag over my shoulder). Tomorrow...IT'S ON!! I need to start scarfing water again so I am not holding it, and I need to exercise my brains out, and become completely Obsessive Compulsive about portions again. For some reason I feel like I am now their star client. Everyone asks about me, or peaks their head in during my consult time. Makes me nervous...The manager asked what I ate for breakfast today and I mentioned peanut butter reduced fat. (There are no walls in this place) and soon the other counselors were chiming in over the cubicle walls...No faces, just words. Creepy...

Have to walk to work tomorrow since my car is in the shop overnight. It better not be raining or the Road Supe is coming to get me. I am not walking to work at 5am in a downpour. Forget that....I have walked to work at around freezing but they sent the Road Supe to get me half way there. It is less than a mile guys so no worries.

OK I think I am awake enough to watch Chef Ramsay go to town on his chef wannabe's.

I will answer your journals tomorrow when can attempt to make some sort of sense. Right now I feel like all I am typing is drivel. Yes I am typing and griping...

~Carrie

mifsit · #**605** (**permalink**) 06-20-2006, 04:34 AM

Is it Gordon Ramsey, the British chef you're talking about? that guy is a complete expletive deleted.

I worked in kitchens as a porter just after I left school and if the head chef talked to me the way he talks to his staff he'd have got a big spoon shoved up his bottom.

If people listening to your consultations bothers you ask "can I help you"? which normally puts them off.

My understanding of the rules in the USA is cars have tougher emission standards than SUV's so its ok to have a big smokey truck but your little honda (or whatever passes for small cars over there) better not have much more than a cough. No I'm not anti SUV (my dream car is a big Land Rover)but I am anti double standards

susieokla · #**606** (**permalink**) 06-20-2006, 10:54 AM

Hi Carrie-I bet your small weight gain is coming from the PMS. It happens to me everytime. Give it a few more days and I'm sure you'll be back down plus lots less.

I hope you get your car back soon. By the way what is E check??

Jules · #**607** (**permalink**) 06-20-2006, 01:02 PM

Aw, I forgot Hell's kitchen was on last night. doh. Sorry about your car too, but I'm glad you live so close to work in case you do have to walk. It must really say something that everyone there at the LA diet place took notice of you -I bet you are the best exerciser they've had in their program. Don't worry about small fluctuations, water retention really does play havoc with your body weight and that has nothing to do with fat.

You really are a music fiend aren't you? I agree it's nice to have a new interest, something to learn more about, collect, etc. You asked for recommendations, what kind of music do you listen to?

Keep up the good work and I hope you hear back about your vacation.

Trying4Thin · #**608** (**permalink**) 06-20-2006, 05:21 PM

I just had a post finished and AOL locked up my pc.....

I love "Hell's Kitchen!" Part one last night was a repeat. Part two was great. I wont talk about it because they may rebroadcast next Monday and I dont want to ruin it for anyone. I hate when people do that! When my father blew the AI finale before I could finish watching it; I fumed for hours.
Walked to work this morning at 5:05am. There's nothing like it. I got to hear an entire community of frogs croaking in a marsh. Oddly relaxing. Wanted to walk to get my car; but I had my heavy bag with me and I didnt want it hanging off my shoulder and banging the back of my legs for over a mile; so I was able to hitch a ride (most of the way), with a driver just starting her door to door shift. Had the honor of giving a ride to the rudest passenger I have ever had in almost 11 years of driving. I hope we never cross paths again. Next time I wont be nice and polite. She reemed me out for using the air conditioning. She wanted fresh air not chemical fumes from my bus. SO TRY WALKING!!!!!!!!! If I ever see her again I will say that my climate control is busted and I cant turn the A/C off and she can wait for the next bus. I swear some people get off on making other people's lives hell.
I saw my reflection in the windshield today and my face looked larger than life with fat pockets. Where did the lean face go that I was begining to see so often?? It was a little discouraging. But more discouraging is that I have to get on the damn scale again tomorrow and if I am up again I will rip the scale off the wall. PMS or not, I should not be up again. 1.8 pounds in less than a week is more than enough. I should have been well into the 140's by now. I want this weight off so I can get a job with benefits and respect. If I am a counselor I get a white jacket and I will look like a doctor!! I did happen to notice some really cool new muscle definition in my arms and calf areas. But only if I move a certain way. I have to remove more fat before my arms will look toned. I wish I had noticed what I looked like before so I could see the changes. Now I have to rely on others noticing for me. But my uniform is so huge now, I am amazed anyone can see anything.
Jules I listen to anything and everything. I am open to all suggestions.
Have a great night everyone. I will check in later.

~Carrie

Trying4Thin · #**609** (**permalink**) 06-21-2006, 05:48 AM

Aack! It's weigh in day....again! I think I feel sick! Why am I letting this get to me? It's just the stupid scale with stupid numbers. I wont let it ruin my day or my life. (Easier said than done.)

~Carrie

mifsit · #**610** (**permalink**) 06-21-2006, 08:25 AM

Forgive my ignorance but don't women retain water when its TOM and make them a bit heavier? BTW I'd guess the windshield you saw yourself in wasn't exactly flat so would have a crazy mirror effect.