It's Time For A New Life

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone!

So far today has been good. I woke up in full Grouch Mode, but now all is right with the world. I had an easy shift, and now I am free til Monday morning at 7am. I am definitely going to get outside today and enjoy the sun. I think the treadmill is also calling. It feels so good to be able to say, "I am going to walk 6 miles," or "I am going to go to the gym and run." Not so long ago just walking down the hall seemed like too much exercise. I just had lunch so I have to wait a while before I get moving out the door. No matter what; I am determined to have fun today.

I didnt hear from "my guy" this week, but that is ok. I know I have it in me to blow him away; one day soon. I know it isnt going to happen overnight, but it will happen. The reason we never worked before (well one of them) was that I couldnt stand the sight of myself. How you treat yourself affects everyone else too. I never really realized that before. I have "accepted" that things are the way they are right now (him not wanting to be with me), and that has made a huge difference. I dont feel like I am carrying around such a heavy burden on my shoulders anymore with all the worrying. Instead of spending every waking minute of the day trying to think of ways to change that; I am taking that time to work on ME. It makes no sense to try and make things happen if they arent going to on their own. I am going to give fate a shove from a different angle, since the other angles didnt work. I am utilizing that time to do the following: work on the love of myself, my physical appearance, my dietary needs, and my overall attitude about things. I need a complete overhaul. I am not changing for anyone but myself. If I am going to be successful; I need to reinforce the idea that I am worth it; and that I deserve it. I am not going to settle for anything less. Settling is what got me to 214 pounds of "ugly." There will come a day when "Carrie" is completely happy. I let myself go because I stopped believing that I was worth anything because nobody really noticed me anyway. So who would care if I slowly destroyed myself? Well I should care. If everyone in the world were to suddenly stop caring about me (not possible); I should be able to look at myself and say that I still care about me.


~Carrie

[Missy]

Carrie, I love reading all your posts. You just seem to always have such a great spirit and outlook on things. It's so nice to hear that you are focusing on yourself and making yourself feel better than worrying about everyone around you. You are a big inspiration to me and to the others that post on these forums.

I think you have worked hard and made a great achievement. Losing 55 pounds on your own is so incredible. You should definately feel proud to be who you are.

[Patty_Ann]

I couldn't agree more with Missy...you totally AMAZE me Carrie! You are the sweetest, kindest, funniest, and most loving person I know. I'm so happy to see that YOU are #1 in your life now. Keep it up!

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone!

Ok so I didnt get outside today like I planned. I figured I would take another trip to the gym. I warmed up for 10 mins and then ran a 12 min mile (5 mph). By the end of it I felt very dehydrated and sick. Not to mention my left foot began to really hurt, and both of my lower legs were cramping. I think I didnt warm up for long enough. And I may have pushed myself a little harder than I should've just out of the gate. But pride kept me on the treadmill for an hour. For the last 12 minutes I played what I like to call; "Mixing it up." The rules of the game were that I had to keep running no matter what I told the treadmill to do. Then I proceeded to keep changing the speed (between 3-5mph) and the incline (0-6%). THAT was fun! Not to mention challenging.



Tales From My Heart Monitor:
Duration of workout: 1 hr 11 mins
518 calories burned
40% fat calories burned
Max HR 90%
Ave HR 73%
37 Min in HR Zone (The rest of the time was over or under target zone)



Food Journal:
Breakfast:
2 pieces whole wheat weight watchers bread (toasted plain)
2 packets Apple Raisin Cinnamon Oatmeal
Approx. 1 serving of Fuze Cranberry Raspberry Slimming Drink

Lunch:
2 Pieces whole wheat ww bread, Spicy Brown Mustard, Lettuce
1 WW Lean Cuisine Baked Fish w/ Broccoli and Cheddar Cheese
1 Bowl of assorted fruit (strawberries, honeydew, red grapes, cantelope)
Most of the rest of my Fuze drink from breakfast
*Only ate 3/4 of my fish sandwich. Couldnt stomach the taste and smell this time.

Pre-workout Snack:
A small handfull of Yogurt and Dried Fruit Mix. (For some quick energy)

Dinner:
1 Package Tabachnick (sp?) Black Bean Soup (holy smokes this rocks)
1 can of canned chicken
1 handful Romaine Lettuce w/ FF Italian Dressing
Diet Caffeine Free Lemon Iced Tea



Morale Level: 100+ "I'm the queen of the world!"
My reflections from the mirror: I think my upper legs are starting to shed the fat pockets. (Sorry but I had no other way to phrase that!)
My quote of the day: "When thoughts of defeat are staring you in the face; stare right back into it's eyes and yell, 'Not today buddy!' and continue on your path to success."


~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Wow thanks for the comments guys! I think if my head gets any bigger; I am going to explode!

For the record; EVERYONE here inspires me. You guys are a huge part of why I bounce out of bed in the morning, (as opposed to rolling). If it werent for this forum (and the special people attatched to it); I would have quit a long time ago. Thanks for reminding me about what is most important in life....

Health
Happiness
Family
Friends
Love of yourself first (then loving somebody else)
Positive attitudes
Accountability
Feeding your soul for nourishment; and not for the sake of eating away life's problems

Much Love,
Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Happy Sunday Morning everyone!

Oh I am so excited I dont know what to do with myself!! A few weeks ago; I went home to see my family in an attempt to escape from work. My father and I went shirt shopping. I needed running shirts...my oldies are starting to get holes in them from so much usage. The shirts I got were all mediums. My father thought the one I tried on looked great. My mother thought they were unflattering. The size was fine; but the length was too long; so they made me look heavier than I am. Hazard of being vertically challenged. This morning I went to try on the last one. I noticed the sticker on it, and thought it was a mistake. But then I checked the shirt label and it said the same thing. I tried the shirt on; still too long and needs to be folded over but; IT'S A SMALL!!! I actually look like a runner now! I cant tell you what that has done for my self esteem! I never thought I would ever fit into a small anything ever again. This is just the beginning folks. Pardon my french here...but screw my scale! Who needs sugar? This new developement has fueled my entire day with natural energy. (The best kind!)

"No we're never going to survive unless we get a little bit crazy"
~Seal








"If you love and care for something; it will grow and blossom into something even more beautiful than you could ever imagine." (me)

[Patty_Ann]

Wow! Congrats Carrie! You are definitely right - screw those scales - the sizes you are wearing is showing you enough proof that you are doing it! I'm so proud of you! I can just see you jumping for joy and doing the happy dance. Keep up the good work! Oh...be careful, too. Don't over do your workouts.

[Missy]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy for you!!! That must feel so awesome! You go girl!

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone!
Just got back from the gym and another sweatfest. (More on that later). I cant wait to get in the shower and wash all this nastiness off me. Then again; the more I sweat; the more fat that comes off...I am going to continue on with the treadmill until I get the legs and butt I want. My next body fat percentage test should be interesting. I am bound and determined to be in the 140's by my birthday. Even if it is 149.9 pounds. That still counts in my book!

Hope all of you are doing well and working out this weekend! Show that fat who is boss!

As always; if any of you need anything I am always here; or an email/pm away. I dont have much of a life at the moment (but that will change soon enough). If I dont have the answer; I will find somebody who will.


~Carrie

"If you love and care for something; it will grow and blossom into something even more beautiful than you could ever imagine." (me)

[Trying4Thin]

Happy Sunday everyone!
Where did the weekend go?? Seems like it was just Friday afternoon. Guess it is true when they say that, 'time marches on and waits for no one.' Well I got some cleaning done today. Lots more to do. I dont think I am ever going to finish. One thing at a time; sooner or later I will finish. But I got the most important thing done (I got my Cardio out of the way early.) If I had to prioritize; my physical health is much more important than obsessing over cleaning.

I had fun at the gym today. Did a 15 minute warm up; then ran at 4.5 mph for a half hour. Then I putzed around for about 15 minutes. Then for the last 15 minutes I "Mixed it Up." Speed was anywhere from 3.8-6 mph, and incline was anywhere from 0-5% (I think.) It felt soooo good to go nuts. Overall miles covered (warm up, cardio, cool down) was approx. 5.59. I need to start bringing a notebook so I can get accurate counts. Thank gosh my HR Monitor gets everything else. Can I just say how much I LOVE my monitor? It keeps me motivated, competitive, organized, and I get more overall health benefits out of my workouts. I can say that from watching my HR figures that my heart is getting stronger. It doesnt raise as quickly as it used to; and I cool down more efficiently. With benefits like these who needs a best friend??

Tales From My Heart Monitor:
Duration of workout: 1 hr 35 min
Calories Burned: 701 (40% fat calories)
Max HR: 174
Ave HR: 139
Minutes In HR Zone: 1 hr 7 min (122-161)


Food Journal:
Breakfast:
2 packets Apple Raisin Cinnamon Oatmeal
2 pieces WW Whole Wheat Toast (plain)

Lunch:
2 pieces WW Whole Wheat Toast
1 can chicken with spicy mustard and lettuce
Lettuce and FF Italian Dressing
1 serving strawberry sorbet w/yogurt (in the freezer section!!)

Dinner:
2 pieces WW Whole Wheat Toast
SmartOnes Chicken Parmigan w/ spaghetti
Lettuce w/ FF Italian Dressing
1 serving strawberry sorbet w/yogurt
Sprite Zero

Morale level: 100++ Small Shirt Size Need I say more?!
My reflections from the mirror: Today I LOOK & FEEL like a runner; not a fat girl wishing she was one.
My quote of the day: "Anything and everything is possible if you give it your all. How badly do you want it?"

Dont forget Extreme Makeover Home Edition is all new tonight. Anyone have extra Kleenex?


"If you love and care for something; it will grow and blossom into something even more beautiful than you could ever imagine." (me)


Be well,
~Carrie