It's Time For A New Life

[Jules]

Thanks for the warning about the berry Dr. Pepper flavor. I'm glad it's gross -the last thing I need now is a new favorite soda. Sorry the snow's been getting to you. Think of this though -a lot of the country it's nasty cold without any pretty snow. I mean if it's going to be miserable and cold, shouldn't it atleast snow and be pretty rather than ugly grey?

You just want to stay in and clean eh? WAnt to come to my house and clean? No, I couldn't wish that on my worst enemies. Actually my house, with all its boxes, are inspiring me to spend more time at work. That's always the way isn't it?

Sorry you've been so preoccupied lately. I know exactly how you feel -too much to think about to exercise. But I remember that sometimes exercise is good because I can just sit and think about things while my body does dumb motions like treadmills. I hope you get back on track exercising and are proud of yourself again. And if your guy like it too, good for him.

I also wanted to say thanks for taking on a moderator position. I know you've got a lot on your plate and I just wanted to let you know it's nice of you to still take time out to help others.

Cheers girl, and good luck with sorting out the job craziness!

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks Jules,

I just have a lot on my mind right now. I am trying to find a new job, and not go off the deep end at my current one. I am struggling with my weight again, and I am trying to keep things going in the right direction with "my guy." So far that seems to be going well. He mailed me out of the blue this afternoon wanting to know if we were going to watch American Idol tomorrow. And that he was glad I did the 12 miles, and that he had been busy but he was glad he found the time to write me back. I am in shock right now. That is two weeks in a row he has contacted me first....I dont want to blow this. But it is obvious I have put on weight this week, and I am so ashamed. I dont want him to be disappointed in me too. But the stress is ruining everything I have worked so hard for. Even my horoscope says that I will be getting a promotion and a new job environment. (Or something like that). Weird huh? Tomorrow I put my foot down and get back on track. I dont want to do anymore backtracking. I hope the warm weather continues to come. I dont want to walk in the cold anymore. I dont hate snow, but I hate driving in it and I hate being cold. I am turning into my mother and she is always cold. Anyway, I am falling on my face and I have to be up at 5am. Have a good night! Good luck with the house and mounds of boxes.

~Carrie

[Trying4Thin]

Geez I am zonked....I forgot to shut off the alarm I had set for yesterday morning. Good thing I woke up though. I was in the middle of a nightmare. I was in line at McDonalds and I ordered a salad and water. The people I was with ordered junk. Where do I come up with this stuff? I havent been to a drive thru in I have no idea how long. I guess it must be an underlying desire. Then why didnt I order a Big Mac? I guess even my conscience knows it is wrong. OK so today is the day to get back on track with everything. I think as a special treat I am going to get my brows done. (Ok that is nothing short of torture), but I like the results. Makes me feel polished and a little more self confident. If I get that shot at a face to face interview, I will get my hair and nails done. I want to walk in with my head held high and feeling like a diva even though I will be shaking uncontrollably on the inside. If I get this job, a whole lot of weight will be lifted from my shoulders. If not, I think I found another alternative. Right now all I can do is just sit back and wait. What's done is done and there is no use worrying over something I cant change and exact no more control over. That is nothing but wasted energy when I should be focusing on other things. Time to get in the shower. Have a great day everyone!

~Carrie

[bradybunch]

Have a great day, Carrie

It's great that you are making time to pamper yourself - you have to take care of yourself when you are making such a good effort with diet and exercise, it makes it all worthwhile! You deserve it too. You have reminded me that I need to get my brows done and a haircut - maybe I'll get that done while DH is at the football on Saturday!

My fingers are crossed that you get this job - best of luck!

[Missy]

When will you find out if you get the interview??

We are all rooting for you, I hope you get this job

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks Missy! From your mouth to God's ears!!

Ok, my current employer is going to start notifying the Road Supervisor applicants as early as next Monday, as to whether they are "in" or "passed over." Wont it be funny if they tell me I got it, and the second company calls for an interview and hires me, and I get to turn the first company down after telling them I need a few days to consider their offer? (Stifeling wild laughing!)

The job I applied for yesterday, (if they are interested in me), in about a week. No clue if anyone else applied, so that could be more or less than a week. I am about ready to climb the walls though because I dont have a phone still. I am hoping by the end of the week. I tried to change my preferred method of contact from phone to email. But I dont think the site accepted it. I dont look that impressive by computer, but I think that I could convince them to hire me at an actual interview, with my resume in hand. The one thing I got from my current employer that is useful, is that I am no longer terrified of interviews. If for some reason they dont call, I can call them and ask what is up. I have an additional backup job to that, but I am sure it wont pay nearly as well. I'm sure anything pays more than what I get now. Wish I knew more, but when I know, you will know!

~Carrie

[bradybunch]

That would be great if you had 2 jobs to choose between!

Sending you lots of good luck vibes - hope you hear something soon

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks for all the wishes of good luck and the good luck vibes. Right now I need all the help I can get. I have been checking my voice mail like a crazy person to see if they have called. I have been stressed out and I really shouldnt be because once again, my stress has ruined my good lifestyle choices. It is pointless to worry over things I have no control over. And it is stupid to worry about a job that cares less about me. Well last night I got the incentive not to let it happen again. "My guy" was upset that I had an "off" week and that I didnt work out because of it. He thinks there shouldnt be any excuses, and that I shouldnt be stressed out. On some level I do agree with him. 12 miles one day, does not excuse me from the other days of the week. So he doesnt want to get together next Tuesday for Idol. I am not going to lie and say that I am happy about it, because I'm not. I dont like a "conditional friendship." I havent hassled him about being more than friends. I dont cry in front of him anymore, and we havent had any arguements in quite some time. Yeah he noticed, and he was happy. He did say that he understood why I was stressed, plus I was still single at my age. (I had to fight hard not to once again tell him how I felt about him). This will work out, it is my dream to lose (meaning, how I handle myself now will ultimately decide what happens to us). He did say that I did look good though. (I called him Pinnocchio). He said he wasnt lying. And he kept coming over to mess with my baseball hat. I didnt take any steps anywhere near him. He also denied acting different last week. Of course he is going to. He said it was because he was scared that I had potential because he had always thought that I was the type of person who wouldnt be able to lose the weight, even though he really wants me to lose it and be happy. He said anyone can knock the socks off of anyone. Well he has no idea....Bottom line, he is happy with what I have accomplished. He doesnt care what I weigh and he would leave me alone if he knew I was happy with where I was at. But he knows I still want to be smaller. I am a lot happier because I am not the Shamu I was before, but I still have work to do. But it has been an all around change, not just physical. So next week, I am going to be watching AI alone. Hense the lightbulb that went off in my head earlier today. I am starting a new challenge TODAY. I am going to see how much "damage" I can do before I see him again in two weeks. And at the end of two weeks, we will see whose socks have been blown off. I am going to go over there looking HOT! He was talking to his mother about me today (who I am still too chicken to meet because of my weight). I know because he emailed me while I was at work. (Another surprise). I didnt expect to hear from him until the two weeks were almost up. Ok last night hurt (I was expecting it though), but I needed a kick in the butt. So the challenge begins today, and the day of judgement is April 11th. Here goes nothing....

~Carrie

[Jules]

Carrie,
I'm so glad you can take an experience like this, where you didn't the reaction you wanted, and turn it into something positive! I hope this short 2-week challenge does reveal a happier and hotter you to him.

I can completely relate about nervousness meeting the mother. When I met my guy's Mum and Dad, I wanted to look fabulous and beautiful. However I was so nervous about meeting them that in the few months prior to the trip to meet all of my man's friends and family I put on a good 20 lbs! eek, right? I was stressed about the money for the trip, my semester of school, so many things... and I couldn't put off the trip becuase we'd bought tickets months ago and it's Australia, ya know? Anyhow, I may not have made the best impression weight-wise, but I was myself and they all liked me. And I'm thinking next time they see me, I'll definately be getting some well-deserved compliments on how good I look! So no matter what happens with the mom-situation, I'll be here cheering you on. And I know you'll make the best of it. *gives you a hug* Good luck with the jobs and achieving your goals Day by Day this week!

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks Jules...

I am hurting right now, but (what happened last night) needed to be said. I saw it coming and I could have lied, but I dont believe in lying to the ones you love. What I do know is that he cant ignore all the positive changes I have made so far. If I didnt care, I would still weigh 214 pounds (most likely more). I have seen what can happen in the course of a week when I really go at it like a crazy person. So, two weeks should be even better. My goal is to be in the 140's by May 24th. That goal isnt completely out of reach yet. I am not going home to visit that week for my birthday, but it will be the season finale of Idol and hopefully we will be together (at the very least as friends). I think everyone can guess what my birthday wish is this year, but I am not going to officially reveal it because I am supersticious like that. I just want this stupid weight off so I can get on with my life and not spend another day without "my guy." I know that finally resolving this issue in my life will be the final thing to knock down the wall that is keeping us apart. I refuse to meet his mother unless I am 130 pounds or less. I want to feel confident when I first see her. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. I dont want her first visual impression of me to be walking in with my head held down, and to top that off, having that pregnant belly look. I have waited this long for a reason, and I am not going to blow it. It's time to put up or shut up. I want to show everyone what I can really do.

~Carrie