It's Time For A New Life

[Trying4Thin]

I broke the 200 pound mark; thank God. I am now sitting at 198.6 pounds. I started at 206.6; so I have lost 8 pounds. It has made all the difference in the world since my back no longer screams. I can now get back to my former ass-kicking. I have 78.6 pounds to lose before May 24th. It would be really nice to be out of the 190's by New Year's; but I am not counting my chickens. My body will do what it wants; when it wants. I am hanging in there.

[susieokla]

Good job Carrie, keep up the good work.

[Missy]

Great job Carrie.

[Trying4Thin]

I think I just ate too much oatmeal. Most likely the equivalent of 2 pkgs; but I began with three and couldn't finish them. Who knows when I will eat again. And I had water with it. I think I swallowed a bowlingball made of oatmeal...The good news is that I am still losing. I am now at 196.9. That number makes me cringe; but it isnt as bad as my original number with a "2" in front of it. I can't believe I ever got up there again; especially after knowing how miserable I was. It seemed to happen all too quickly. One day I was wearing size 10 jeans; and the next I was using a scissors to get my behind out of the size 14's I grabbed by accident. I've forced myself to post old pictures of myself on my MySpace page to remind myself of what I used to look like. And to say that I wasnt ugly back then. Poor self esteem is what started all of this. Now I cringe when I think my picture might be taken. I am hoping for the day to come when I won't mind; and I might actually like what comes out on film.


51.7 til I hit my last low point of 145.2 pounds
76.9 til I hit goal

[Trying4Thin]

[Trying4Thin]

Had a few pieces of candy last night/this morning and I feel really badly. Especially since I was doing so well. Especially since I am supposed to be at a friends house today for dinner. But they dont have a phone or a computer so I cant let them know I am not coming. I dont want to be around all that food; and I dont want to sit there and not eat. They know I am on a diet again. I am not going to be in the same room with cake, stuffing, and lord knows what else. And yes; one bite will kill me. Did some lifting today (haven't since this summer) and I am going to drag myself kicking and screaming to the gym tomorrow.

About a week ago I had to literally cut myself out of a pair of size 14 work pants. Today I went to do laundry and was wearing a size 14 pair of Lane Bryant pants. I am not going to stop this time. I am going to prove to everyone that I can complete the journey. Enough is enough. Plus it is going to feel soooo good the next time I see Eric and he will be drooling all over me in shock. And I will be deciding if I want to waste my time with him or not. He is full of it if he says he doesn't have feelings for me. He knows that if he keeps on seeing me that eventually he will begin to like me though he claims he doesn't want to. Then he says he wish he did have feelings for me and he told his mother that. Whatever...I live for the day he will swallow those words and just stare at me in shock. I am powerful when I put my mind to it. The counter on my MySpace page is ticking away and I am going to beat it. I can't wait for my replacement ATM card to arrive. I am craving fresh veggies and ground turkey like nobody's business.

I am hoping to get a puppy from the pound in the middle of 2008. That way I will have a permanent running buddy and an everyday excuse to go outside and play. I wanted a Pitbull; but I dont have the $100,000 liability insurance they require. (Damn you Michael Vick!!!) So I will most likely go with a Lab Retriever Mix. Something that I wont have to carry after a few miles on the trail.

[nahum1_7]

LOL, I suggest adopting an older german shepherd to run with. They have a good run and still leave your home in one piece... because they are content to lie around until its time to run again.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))

You are doing great, I'm in with you for getting this FINISHED in 2008!!!! Praise God that He will gladly give us the strength to overcome this obstacle of trying to lose weight!

[Trying4Thin]

Ok so I am starting again tomorrow. And this time I am going to finish. I moved some livingroom furniture around today and my lower back isn't too thrilled with me. Oh well. Stocked up on decent things to eat so I wont make poor choices; which I often seen to do when I am depressed, rushed, starving, or just bored.

I want to feel good about myself again. And there is a small part of me who wants to shove it back in the faces of those who doubted me. People who have never had a food addiction or weight problem have no freaking clue what this is like.

The worst part isn't going to be going back to the gym and sweating. It's going to be going back and feeling embarrassed since I blew up again after working so hard before. I am not a failure but I feel like one.

I also want my self confidence and self esteem back. Nobody decent will even give me a shot if my head is always pointed downward in shame. Plus when I feel lousy about myself the whole world can see it. I have had enough of being single, enough of wearing tent sizes, and enough of feeling physically whipped. This cloud that has been following me around for the past years has taken all of my dreams away; and I will be damned if I let it continue to do so.

You can follow my progress on Weighins.com under Trying4Thin

[Missy]

Don't feel embarrased to go back to the gym, there's no reason to. The main thing is that you're not giving up on yourself like so many others do, you are going back and are determined. That's all that matters. Who cares what other people think of you while you're there, you're there for you and you only. At the end of the day, your thoughts are the only ones that matter and knowing you kicked your butt in the gym will give you a sense of accomplishment. I'm glad to see you're focused again and positive about the future.

[Trying4Thin]

I am 110% disgusted with what I saw tonight on Episode 1.

Pink Team: (Mother and Daughter) Betty-Sue needs to shut her yap and just work out. She is more effective that way. I can't blame her daughter for being upset. I think they will both end up being strong contenders.

Green Team: (Father and Daughter) The father needs to be ashamed of his behavior. He totally bailed on his daughter. Just because you have foot blisters doesn't mean you can't sit on a bike. The comment about her only losing 7 pounds really pissed me off. All he did was quit and sleep while she worked her ass off.

Yellow Team: (Ex Husband and Wife) Love these two and my next paycheck says they will rekindle the romance before this season is over.

Brown Team: (Husband and Wife) Another great couple. I hope they continue to do well.

Orange Team: (Mother and Son) The mother needs to realize she can compete with these other players. Great first weigh in for both her and her son.

White Team: (Newlyweds) Was really impressed with the wife's work ethic. Looks like they struggle some next week due to the previews.

Purple Team: (Best Friends) Bunch of whiners with poor attitudes. My guess is they will be gone next week unless they really step it up.

Blue Team: (Total Strangers) They seem to work well together. The girl was a little hard on her teammate who spent most of the week in the hospital. I think they will also come out as strong contenders.

Black Team: (Brothers) So far; the ones to beat.

Grey Team: (Ex Teammates) Love the teamwork of these two. They do have an incredible bond.

Early prediction being the Black and Grey teams going to the finale. But; anything can happen. So glad Kim isn't there.