It's Time For A New Life

[Trying4Thin]

THANK GOSH IT'S FRIDAY!!!

I couldnt stand to be at work for another minute. I resent the hell out of my shift because if I had stayed on mornings; then I know I'd be at my goal weight by now. I cant do anything with anyone because I am not available when others are, and when I am at home; I dont feel like doing anything. And I am hurting because my phone still hasnt rung yet. I sold my life for health benefits....

Going to go to Yankee on Sunday and fill out the Manager Ap. since I know Eric wont be calling. (Just a gutt feeling.) Saturday I am going to kick out my inner packrat. When I do get on a cleaning kick; I dont like to be disturbed for ANYONE or ANYTHING. If there is even the slightest chance Eric would call on Sunday and I was cleaning; that would throw me off.

I am kinda starting to feel bad for Paris. She should be punished for all of her poor driving stunts, and stupid decisions; but it wasnt her call that sent her home. Carting her to and fro is only garnering her more media attention. So now she is back in jail and supposedly fulfilling the original full sentence. But then there is always time off for good behavior. I wouldnt want to be in her shoes; that judge is really peeved that his ruling was overturned. Anyone who thought she would be out of the media for all that time was so wrong. And now there are pics of a crying Paris all over the net. Bet Lindsay Lohan is loving this....

[Trying4Thin]

Ok so I saw this and thought I would share it....

I know it is only adding to the media hype; but it is still good for a giggle or two. I havent been feeling like myself since last Weds (still no phone call) and I needed to remember how to smile again.

My life may suck right now; but Paris's "Simple Life" ain't so simple anymore. In all seriousness; I really hope she can learn something from this. Drinking and driving isnt HOT.

AOL Video Blog

[Trying4Thin]

Well I was lied to. Huge fucking surprise. He is too busy and that he doesnt want to see me unless he is excited to see me. That it isnt fair to me (or him) and that I should be with somebody who is excited to see me. Guys and girls cant just be friends in his head. There has to be something there or there isnt. Maybe we could do something in a few weeks. And he wants to go to bed early tonight.

He fucking lied to my face on the 30th. I know he didnt want to see me 2 Weds ago; but he had a good time. I knew this was going to happen. He would rather do his laundry on a Sunday (the day he said he had free); and start his Monday fresh, rather than spend time with me.

What is he so afraid of? That I have been the right one all along? I know if he does call me; it will only be because I have the rest of his birthday present to give him. Not because I excite him.

I seriously have nothing to be happy about anymore. I hate my job, I have no social life, the man I love has lied to me again about wanting to see me, and there is nothing left. Everyone on this forum has somebody; a boyfriend, husband, wife or child. Somebody loves them. I have nothing.

How the hell do you get excited about seeing somebody when you never see them? So nothing will ever change on his end. He wanted to start doing things with me and then thought about it and things are back to the way that they were before. Like Weds never happened. He also asked if I had been working out everyday. I pulled a muscle; but that was all he heard (no I havent).

Why would I meet this guy just so he could tear me in two time and time again? There is nobody out there for me. All I wanted to do was give him my heart. And the same thing that has always happens; happens again. I give my heart; I get it stomped on and tossed back at me. And I am left with nothing.

I am done here. It was nice knowing all of you.

[FrugalSue]

I'm really sorry for your pain, Carrie.

I don't understand, though, why you would leave us because of something somebody else is doing to you. We are your support. You may not have somebody special in your life, but if we are all you have, why would you walk away from us?

I hope you will reconsider.

Fondly,

Sue

[muppet]

Hi Carrie. I agree with Sue. Why leave us? I think most of us here have done our best to be supportive. Sometimes though, at least in my case, I just have nothing to say that hasn't already been said.
Bottom line though is that YOU are the one who is in control of your happiness. You can't blame a boyfriend, or lack of one on that. And you can't blame how other people treat you. It's how you react to this treatment that counts. It's all outlook and attitude, and please oh please don't tell me you think you need a man to be happy. I know so many married people who are so freaking miserable....They think that you have the ultimate lifestyle.
So life isn't a bed of roses, no matter what path you take.
Just live your life Carrie, instead of waiting for something 'good' to happen. Live and enjoy and just take care of yourself.
We're always here to listen.
Carol

[Missy]

Carrie, you have got to stop letting him control your every move in life. I hate to hear posts like this where it sounds like you are giving up on everything because of him. It's not worth it. There is much more to life than men. It's nice to have a significant other and have someone to do things with...but you can also find that in really good friends. I know it's not the same, but you get the idea. You shouldn't be lost within yourself without him..you need other things to make you who you are. If I didn't have Matt, I'd still have my friends, I'd still have the gym, a family that loves me and spends time with me. I love good books and movies, I love going for long walks or sitting on the beach...don't let him stop you from enjoying life...there's only so much time that we have on earth, make the best of it.

[nahum1_7]

I am alone... with 3 kids for 2 years, the only comfort I have is Jesus, the only comfort I need is Jesus. Have I been lonely, hurt, let down? yep, but in no way will I let there be defeat in times of despair.

I realised that God had to bring me to an end of myself so that He could change me into the person He wants me to be right now. If I dont surrender myself to Him, then there is no peace, so each day I try to find something else to let go of and give up to God...God doesnt need me to fix my life, to restore my marriage, or heal my family. Only He cant do it! All I need to do is be obedient, confess when I screw up, and pray, pray, pray.

I will keep praying for you to realise that God wants the best for His children. Sometimes we dont get what we want because the "best" is waiting for us down the road. Sometimes we wont get the "best" until we let God perform the work He is trying to do in us through our trials.

[FrugalSue]

Originally Posted by nahum1_7

Sometimes we dont get what we want because the "best" is waiting for us down the road. Sometimes we wont get the "best" until we let God perform the work He is trying to do in us through our trials.

This is so true. I am so grateful that I did not ever get what I thought I wanted when I was in my 20s and 30s.

I also had unrequited love for someone who never could have met my needs. (In fact, this happened twice, I guess I could not learn what I needed to the first time.)

When I finally married, it was to the wrong person and he died of a drug overdose. I had to give my entire life over to God at that point, and things have gotten better since. For me, life started to get right at about age 35.

Carrie, we are with you in spirit...hope you are reading this and coming back to us soon.

Sue

[Patty_Ann]

CARRIE - WE LOVE U!

[Trying4Thin]

After a lengthy "vacation" I am back; for better or worse. A lot has happened in the last month and a half. Some really good and some really bad. I know that I do need this journal to help with my future success; not just with weight loss. Anyway; I have to get in the shower and head to work. Cant wait to see what junk gets tossed at me today....At least tomorrow night I will be at the Josh Groban concert and not having to deal with drunks.