It's Time For A New Life

[Trying4Thin]

The lighter side of fast food. From the NBC show "Thank God You're Here" Wayne Knight (ex "Seinfeld") and Wendie Malick (ex "Just Shoot Me") are hilarious.

YouTube - All in -- Fast Food Fun!

[FrugalSue]

Thanks for sharing this, it was hilarious.

[Trying4Thin]

Did a little cleaning this morning. I am sure it will take Snoopy less than 30 seconds to get his cage in shambles again. Pets: gotta love 'em.

Had some Egg Beaters for breakfast. They are easy to make and that works for me since I am nowhere near to being a home gourmet.

No clue what to eat for lunch. I overate this weekend; but it was all healthy stuff. With the one exception being (a mini bag of popcorn.)

Not much else to report. I wish I could stay home today; but I have to work. At least the weather is 1/2 way decent.

[Trying4Thin]

Hi everyone,

Another blah day with nothing to report. Although some (I will remain kind) lowlife SOB cussed me out and she wasnt even a passenger; she was a KID.



My feelings are all over the map right now. I am anxious and a bunch of other emotions too. Less than a month to go and I feel like I am just spinning my wheels again. I always tense up when important dates come up and I am far from my goals. Also adding to my insecurities is the fact that I didnt hear from Eric today. But it was beautiful weather and I am sure he was making the most of it. Tomorrow we are expecting strong storms. Those two little words are driving me nuts. But I have to just breathe in and relax. Bad things happen when I dont. My present attitude will either make us or break us for good. When I saw those two words I just wanted to jump in my car and go see him. It is really difficult putting my feelings in a locked jar and up on a shelf where I cant reach them. I have felt a sense of freedom and calm these past few days; but I have a long way to go. I know a lot more now than I did 3-4 years ago. But this particular learning process has been extremely painful. I want my happy ending so badly. I try my best to be happy to be alive and healthy everyday; and I know it is selfish of me to want/ask for more. But I just want this one thing. I dont care about money or material things. I care about making the one man of my dreams smile; and to be thankful that we found each other. I want a life with him. And each day that passes by and we are apart or dont communicate is that much harder. But today is a new day and maybe I will hear from him. I am kinda interested to see how he follows up his last email. Bet he expected me to call today asking if he really ment what he wrote on Weds. I am not gonna lie; I was tempted. And I didnt tell him I missed him either. There will be a time and place for that; just not now. Now is the time for restraint. Let him have some time to think. At least I know he is thinking about me some of the time. And some of the time; is a heck of a lot better than none of the time. I still think he has hope in his heart for us. That thought is what keeps me going.

[Trying4Thin]

I feel like junk today. According to the scale (that I swore I wouldnt get on until the 15th) I gained 6 pounds. So I am 163.1 How nasty is that? I only did it to myself. I feel totally defeated. I really wish I could talk with Eric. I feel very lonely right now.

[nahum1_7]

There is no way that you gained 6 pounds in a day, its water, its muscles healing, but in no way is it a defeat. I can sit here and preach to you, but all I will say is please realise that life is too short to do this to yourself.

Ok, A little bit of preaching--

I am serious, prayer, prayer, prayer. I know you want Eric, have you asked if its God's will? I desperately wanted someone else to want me, felt so unloved. Then when someone else did want me, God revealed to me what HE wanted in my life. This means no dating, no other man, just waiting on God to heal my marriage. AND yanoo what? I am happier now than I was on the day I first got asked out by someone else. It was so weird, I couldnt make myself respond with a yes, God works in ways that we just cant understand.

I hope you focus on having a great trip home, I bet you look great, better than last year...so have a good time and stop beating yourself up. Do you have any friends that you can talk to. I love reading your journal, but you need to have someone you can talk to, hang out with, bounce all this around with. I love ya and am praying for you and for God's will to be made clear in your life.

[Trying4Thin]

For those of you who dont know; I have a huge phobia of loud noises and lightning. Needless to say; work tonight was not fun due to a severe case of lightning. I was ready to camp out in the fuel line because I was scared to leave my bus to cross the parking lot. But I made it back. I am sure everyone thought I was being a big baby. Before the "lighning crashed" it was a beautiful day; but that didnt stop me from bringing a winter jacket to work and wearing a turtleneck. What was I thinking??

So earlier today I couldnt stand it anymore and I called Eric. We had the usual friends only type of conversation. Although I did kinda mention that I loved his cologne during a bit about which ones smelled good. I LOVE Tommy Boy. He wanted to get the one I told him about because he is a fan of the athlete it is created for. It smells good too. But I dont want him wearing cologne around other girls. I am sure I bored him to death about some of the things I had learned through some teaching cds/dvds I had gotten; the donkey story, Armand's "no rims" lecture, and my renewed love (addiction) to Yankee Candle Votives. I wasnt lying when I said that I had started to feel freer and less weighed down with stuff. How I really liked talking with him now that we werent doing the same thing over and over. I also mentioned that I got Josh tickets. He asked if I was going with my parents again. So I cooly replied that I didnt think he would have wanted to go; and if he did, he still couldnt due to work. It was weird that he kept bringing up movies that he wanted to see that were coming out soon. But he didnt suggest we go together. It's ok because I still feel like a giant whale. Later on; he did ask me if we were still doing something on the 30th. I almost fell off my chair. He never commits to anything that far in advance; so I figured he was backing out. He said he wasnt. And then I just couldnt stand it anymore. I asked him if he emailed me last Weds. And I brought up the contents of the email minus the last 2 words. I know he knew what I was getting at. I said that I wasnt going to ask him if he ment it; (he said he guessed so) but that it was so out of character for him and it drove me nuts all weekend. I told him that I missed him too. Typical guy response..."Well that's good." I hope that hearing me say it ment more to him than he led on. And if it did; he wouldnt tell me anyway. I dont know; but today felt like this was part of the "Master Plan to get us back on track." I really dont think he would tell me that he missed me if he truly didnt. And I did give him an "out" for the 30th but he didnt take it. I honestly do believe that this is G-d's will for us to be together. It's ok that everyone else thinks I am nuts. But today I did feel like we were starting to take a few more baby steps towards a real connection and trusting each other again. I once read somewhere that true love is giving the power to somebody else to destroy you and trusting that they dont. One day at a time...

[muppet]

Did you watch AI last night? Bon Jovi!!! Woohoo. How cool was Blake? I LOVED it!!! Lakisha was good too, and I don't usually like her too much. Poor Jordin-- that was just awful, I thought. Couldn't she have found a better song for her? I don't know....
I don't know who's going home tonight. I had though Lakisha, but after last night I just don't know. I think I'd like to see Chris go next. Nothing against him, but I can't stand all the Justin Timberlake comparisons. I know that's not all his fault, but I can't stand JT, so it only makes sense that I'm not a huge fan of Chris either.
Happy watching -- Can't wait to see Bon Jovi perform tonight!

[Missy]

Glad to hear things are going good for you in your life right now and I really hope things work out with you and Eric. Sounds like he's ready to get together with you and do something. I really liked how you ended your post about giving your whole heart up to someone.

[Trying4Thin]

Another day; another dollar earned. I am really sleepy right now. Ever since last night I have been pretty upset over something that happened at work. I think sometimes certain people do forget why we are there and doing what we do day in and day out. But; I think it will turn out ok in the end. I am not backing down and I have people to back me up. The first half of my shift I was crazy busy because of the good weather. Strollers, bikes etc. I was still fuming over a conversation I had with another employee when I was reminded why I put up with the occasional crap at my job. One of my regulars happened to be on with her son (and a zillion other people). He is maybe a year old and I am still adjusting to his learning to talk. I was switching with another driver so I could go on break when all of a sudden from the back of the bus I hear very loudly; "Bye Carrie!" I think the look on my face pretty much said it all. The entire bus was sighing (awwww) and smiling. And once again I was reminded who it was I was REALLY there to please; the PEOPLE. I have another passenger who has a 6 year old daughter (with the mind of a 35 year old) who screams and hugs me everytime she gets on my bus. She calls herself a "Mini Carrie" because we have a lot in common. I really wish she were my daughter. And those are just two of the many positive reasons why I can deal with all the stupid crap that I deal with. Because pleasing the public makes it all worthwhile. I know I cant please everyone all the time; but I damn well try.

Nothing from Eric today; but that is ok because I talked with him for almost an hour yesterday. I gotta give him more time to miss me! So my attitude is in check but my body is really not. My core area looks like a giant sack of potatoes. And just over 3 weeks to go. But I have a lot on my side and I think I really can whip my butt back into shape. I always work best under pressure. As for meeting Eric's parents though; I think I feel a cold coming on...(ah-choo ah-choo cough cough).


Ok onto Idol.....
I about wretched last night when Simon planted one on LaKisha and then commented on her lips. She wasnt THAT good dawg! I liked Jordin; but the hair made her look like the ex G'NR guitarist Slash. Horrible!! I liked Phil a lot. Blake took one hell of a risk and it paid off. He aint going no place! Melinda was so far out of her element and I LOVED IT!! I could barely sit through Chris's performance. PITCHY DUDE!! Justin Timberlake wannabe cant sing Bon Jovi. "He's goin' down in a blaze of glory." I wanted Sanjaya back because at least he was entertaining. Plus Chris seems to be getting quite an inflated head lately. Sooooooooo I agree with the AOL poll and LaKisha and Chris will get the boot. But they also say Phil will win (no he wont) Jordin will be second; followed by Melinda and Blake. Jordin and Melinda will be the final 2; but Blake is the X factor. Carol I also grew up on Bon Jovi and various other 80's hair bands too. I remember "Living On a Prayer" when I was in elementary school. Too bad Ritchie Sambora wasnt there for the mentoring. Off to watch and then pass out.