Time to start over

[Trying4Thin]

I want to thank you guys again for responding and really listening to me. I was on another BL Forum and yes there were some great people, but it had gotten so out of control. The meaningful posts always got less attention than the insincerre posts, and the less posts you recieved, the further down the list you went, decreasing the chances that the "real" posters would ever find you. It has always been my dream to write a book once I get to my goal weight, and I have been keeping journals off and on for years. Maybe if I keep one here, it will keep me more accountable and on track. And hey, these journals get feedback! I havent been on the scale in a few days and I am scared. A few weeks ago I was 159.9....Today I am 168.4.....I feel like bawling, but it isnt where I started (214 lbs), and for that I should be grateful. And I know that the choices that I make today, can change the weight of tomorrow...for better and for worse. Since I feel so big, I think I am going to ride my exercise bike today. It is harder to say no when everytime you walk into the livingroom, there is a piece of cardio equipment staring back at you. I think it has been gathering dust bunnies for long enough. Goal #1 for today: Drink Drink Drink (water that is), no more diet soda, Goal #2 for today: Get on the exercise bike again, Goal #3 for today: Be accountable with all my eating choices. Goal #4 for today (easily the hardest of them all) Think positive thoughts....
Since it is time for breakfast, I am going to have some Quaker Oatmeal. The 3 brands I like are: Quaker Supreme (Apple Raisin), Quaker Heart Smart (Blueberry), and Quaker Weight Control (Cinnimon). Maybe if I post on here, everytime I get hungry, that will curb some of the binges.
On a happier note, I am glad to hear that there are some American Idol fans out there. Some of my favorite shows include; Lost, House, Will & Grace, That 70's Show, Whose Line is it Anyway?, Law & Order SVU, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and of course...Biggest Loser. I am sure there are more I am forgetting. Today on Dr. Phil they are going to stage an intervention with a 1,000 LB man. Should be interesting. Anyhow, more updates later on. I think this will turn into a blog and not a journal. I still have the rest of the day to get through w/o cheating. Let me know how you guys are doing!
P.S. You dont have to give up Caesar Kraft Free makes FF Caesar Italian dressing. Only 25 calories per tablespoon. I also hate anchovies and fish, but you cant even taste them! Fat free doesnt have to mean taste free. Just watch the sodium. This one weighs in at 470 mgs.

Much love,
~Carrie

[muppet]

I know what board you are talking about! I don't know-- it's like a private club, or a high school clique. They pay very little attention to you if you aren't part of the 'in' crowd. Also, they were obsessed with casting calls and call backs. Most of the posts seemed to be about them, and very little talk about any of these 'special edition' shows.
I'm so glad I found this one.( someone on that other board suggested it to someone else) I'll think I'll be starting a journal soon.
I'm so glad to know, that if I have a question, I might actually get an answer! Best of luck to you!

[Trying4Thin]

I went back to that old site and one of them had the nerve to say that I was trying to direct traffic to this site and that I could sell cars. Give me a break. Those people are so focused on being "cool" they wont ever lose the weight. Good luck to you. You should have an online journal, even if you are the only one who ever reads it!

~Carrie

[2BALoser2]

Glad you came over here, all sites are good for some people, the key is finding the right site for you

[susieokla]

Well, I'm glad you both found this forum!! I think it's great!

Carrie-It sounds like you're doing great. I know you're probably upset about gaining some of the weight back but at least you are ready to start making the right choices now! Before long you have lost what little you gained back plus lots more!! You can do it!!

I also love American Idol. It's one of my favorites!! Along with Lost, Survivor, Big Brother, of course Biggest Loser, Friends (even though it's reruns), That 70's show, CSI. I wish I was home during the day to watch Dr. Phil. I just love him. He's so straight forward about everything. And it's great you have the exercise bike, you can peddle away and watch your favorite shows at the same time!

It's funny you mention the Cesear dressing. I absolutely loved Cesear salad until I found out about the "little fishies" in it. LOL..I know it's just all in my head but I'm weird that way.

[Trying4Thin]

Thanks for the responses. Unlike the NBC site, here I dont cringe when I see that people have responed to something I have written. Susie you and I sound a lot like twins separated at birth. I love Lost, but I missed an episode a while back and now I am going to wait for Season 2 before I start watching again. Josh Holloway is yummy!! Is it just me, or are the judges getting meaner this year? Paula included...Some people are getting in that shouldnt, and other good people are being passed up. I like Friends too. Have you seen Joey? It is good, but they need the ensemble cast for the magic to work. Four Kings is the newest NBC brain child and it is hilarious. I dont think Seth Green knows how NOT to be funny.
Yes I am upset about the + lbs, but some of it is H2O weight, some is eating too much, and some is from sitting around. Just glad I woke up before it all came back, yet again. I do like the bike, but I love to run. Only problem with the bike is I cant hear the tv above the spinning of the wheels. I'd have to blast the tv and my apartment neighbors probably wouldnt like it. For years all I wanted to do was run. But when you are so heavy that walking down the hallway makes your heart jump, running is impossible. I know it is bad on the knees, but there is something about running that is so freeing. This may sound weird, but I feel lighter in a way. Arrgghhh....it is snowing again! Guess I am going to have to pray a little harder for the warm weather so I can hit the park trail again.
So far today I have had zero desire to eat. I have had 2 pkgs of oatmeal and that is it. I know starving isnt good either, but I just dont want to eat. I am going to try a little experiment and quit diet soda for a week and see what happens.
Write soon!
~Carrie

[susieokla]

Originally Posted by Trying4Thin

I love Lost, but I missed an episode a while back and now I am going to wait for Season 2 before I start watching again. Josh Holloway is yummy!! Is it just me, or are the judges getting meaner this year? Paula included...Some people are getting in that shouldnt, and other good people are being passed up. I like Friends too. Have you seen Joey? It is good, but they need the ensemble cast for the magic to work. Four Kings is the newest NBC brain child and it is hilarious. I dont think Seth Green knows how NOT to be funny.

That's funny, I've also missed some episodes of Lost so I have quit watching it. Yes, Josh Holloway is a hottie but I also like Matthew Fox.

I actually enjoyed the judges this time during the auditions on American Idol. Of course Simon is always mean but I'm glad Paula wasn't so nicey nice to everybody. She is being honest with them and sometimes people need to hear that.

I haven't watched Joey, I just don't think it would be the same watching a show with him on it and not the others from Friends. They were just so good together.

[Widdlecuddles]

Originally Posted by susieokla

I actually enjoyed the judges this time during the auditions on American Idol. Of course Simon is always mean but I'm glad Paula wasn't so nicey nice to everybody. She is being honest with them and sometimes people need to hear that.

I am glad to see that Paula isn't being so sweet this year. Simon "fat" issues drive me a little nuts though. I still love the show though and can't wait til they start in Hollywood!

[ehyatt]

Well I am glad that I did not even venture into that other forum-it sounded awful in there! I also love Idol, Lost, Invasion, and CSI Miami. I still watch Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy.

[Patty_Ann]

You are SOOOOOOO right...positive thinking. I have read Joel Osteen's book Your Best Life Now and it has changed my way of thinking...that and my psychology class in college. One thing I do when I walk and begin to struggle finishing it off - I tell myself outloud "You can do it!" It always pushes me through!

You may look or sound funny but talk yourself through the difficult times!!!