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What is with this site lately? It's so slow to load. I hope it gets back to normal soon, or I won't be responding to too many posts, as long it's been taking for everything to come up.
Anyway -- today is a mixed bag. I got a nice walk in this morning. And I have done a bunch of laundry. I was good, and hung it all up outside, instead of using the dryer. I think I'm a dying breed. I just love to hang my clothes outside. I know some people think it's gross-- like there are bugs crawling all over everything or something. But I can assure you, that's not the case. I love the smell. And it's so good for whites, to hang out in the sunshine. It really brightens them up. Also, if you have a tomato based stain on your clothes, the sun will bleach it right out!. I also hate to use the dryer when it's hot, and we have the AC on. Why make things work harder than they have to? Plus, on days like today -- hot and windy-- the clothes dry faster outside, than they do in the dryer. My dryer takes forever. It's frustrating always having to wait for it to get done, before I can move on to the next load.
Ok -- enough about my thrilling adventures with laundry. I have accomplished a lot. Walk -- laundry-- vacuuming.... but I have eaten more than I should. I made some bad choices again. Not really that bad, but certainly not smart. At least it wasn't candy, or complete junk. And I didn't overeat, or eat more than a proper serving. I guess I ate like a normal person -- not a person who wants to lose weight. I will do my yoga later this evening.
I took a little nap today too. It's been ages since I have done that. I fell asleep on the couch, watching something on tv. I don't think I've been relaxed enough to be able to do that, for a long time.
Don't know if we made a big mistake or not tonight. My son's best friend's birthday is today. They wanted to go to the drive in. It's about a half hour away from here. They were going to take 2 cars, but we let them take our van, so they wouldn't have to. They also got a huge 'don't be drinking' lecture from both of us. I know they will tell us whatever we want to hear, but I'm hoping that we were very blunt, and that they know we are suspicious anyway, that maybe they will behave themselves. I told them several times -- I just want everyone back safe and sound. We decided to give him a chance. I hope we don't regret it. I told him, this is an opportunity to maybe regain some of the trust he has lost from us. I realize I can't be with him 24/7. I know I can't keep him grounded forever. I can just give him a chance. Pray that he and all his friends will have fun, and be smart about things. I want so much to be able to trust him, and let him do the fun things teenagers ought to be able to do. I don't want to have to be so suspicious. But, I have to be. You can't ever think 'my kid would never do that.' I've never been that way, but I have been shocked at some of the stuff my son has pulled this past year. I never thought I had blinders on, but if I did, they are now off.
So, it's a good thing I had a nap. I'm sure I'll be up late, waitiing for him to come home. For peace of mind, and also to check up on him. Look for signs of drinking and smoking. If he's smart, and he really is, there won't be any. If his friends are any kind of friends at all, there won't be any. They are all smart, but do such dumb things. I'm hoping my son realizes that life is much better if he isnt' always trying to get away with something. If he behaves himself, he'll have many more opportunities to do stuff with his friends. That's really what he wants. He can have it, as long as it isn't the party crap he has done before. I'm not the type of parent who will say, 'aww, their just kids -- all kids like to party'. I think that is such crap. I mean, I know it's true, but that doesn't make it ok. That doesn't mean we should turn a blind eye to it. It's very clear to me why the drinking age is what it is. These kids have no clue how do drink responsibly. No clue at all.
Well, I'm not really sure why I went into all that. But I must have needed to express these things. Get them out of my head, and in black and white in front of me-- I think it helps me sort out how I feel about things.
Pretty boring read, but as I've said -- this journal is for me. I have caught myself thinking before '' oh, no one wants to hear about all that...' but I have to remember -- I'm not writing a letter, or a story. I'm just getting stuff off my chest. No one wants to read about it? I don't care.