Sounds like you took a page out of my life, Nicky! It's so hard to stay on top of things all the time. So easy to let things slide, and that weight seems like it sneaks up over night!
For me, the hardest thing is getting back 'on the wagon' . The longer I stay off, the harder it is. That's where I think this site helps me. I have been stuck in neutral for awhile now. But I stopped gaining. I haven't gone completely back to my old ways. I'm hoping I will start losing again soon, but right now, I'm just glad I stopped gaining. My clothes still fit ok. Some could be better, but I haven't had to resort to my biggest pair of pants! A small victory, but a victory, none the less. Other times, when I have fallen off the wagon, I have fallen so hard, and could never get back on. I usually ended up needing even bigger pants, than my biggest size. Depressing!!
So, you have no choice Nicky. You don't want to slide any farther backwards. You can do it. Focus-- stay the course! We all right here with you!!!
CArol