Hey Susie,
I understand completely! I was abused by men and the weight became my safety - I'd decided it was being cute and feminie that caused it, rather than the truth that bad people hurt me - nothing to do with looks. So now - even though the old way of protecting is in there (I've lost weight and hit a certain point and gained it back for such fears) it's about telling myself the truth. Making healthy choices, looking great, feeling great have nothing, zero, nada to do with why people hurt other people.
Hold your head high - you are important enough to do this for whether anyone notices or not, whether anyone asks you out or not. Bottom line, if they don't then it's no different form what you're dealking with now, except that you will feel better, be healthier and like yourself more - and my guys friends tell me that is a turn on. You go girl!!!
Cyn