Hi everyone,
Well I am completely zonked still from yesterday. I even went to sleep at a decent hour, but as usual I couldnt sleep through the night, and when I had to get up, I was foggy. Dont get me wrong, I am happy for the extra energy, but I wish I would have it during the day. This being a night owl doesnt help when I am on the early shift. I have also noticed an increase in my appetite again. This could be partially due to the crazy workouts I have been doing. But I think what I have been eating is the bigger culperate. So I am going back to being 100% strict about what I eat and drink and I am going to have to put the kibbosh on processed foods and diet soda again. I think in the long run, they are dragging me down. My stomach has shrunk, so there is no reason why I cant be happy with what I was eating a few weeks ago (and was losing). I like being in control, and lately I havent been feeling that I am. I know one day soon I am going to crack and take my scale to it's final resting place in the dumpster. I just cant take it messing with my head anymore. I refuse to keep killing myself day in and day out, only to be disappointed by a few stupid numbers. I need to just rely on how my clothes fit and my own reflection in the mirror. I know, easier said than done. Well I am holding up fairly well from my hike yesterday. I have some slight muscle pain, but not enough to keep me from doing anything. Actually, my face hurts more than anything else... bad windburn. It wasnt really that cold yesterday. When I went 6 miles with the weights on and it was snowing, it was colder and I didnt get burned. Glad I used glasses to protect my eyes. I will just hike the scarf up higher next time, and try not to fog up my glasses. I am still kind of in shock that I walked 12 miles. I have never in my life done that kind of distance before. I would have loved to do another 8 at the gym, but I think I would have required a crane to get me out of bed this morning. I guess I have more endurance than I thought I did. I am going to remember this for quite a long time. I think my parents are going to have simultaneous heart attacks when I tell them. I think "my guy" will as well. I emailed him to tell him that I had fun with him the other night watching Idol, (even though we dont always see eye to eye on the contestants), and to tell him what I did with my day off. Bet he will be happy to see me next Tuesday night!! I kinda wish he could have gone with me yesterday, but this was something I needed to do alone, and I want to take things slowly. I know that he does want to go running with me, but I am still a long way away from keeping up with him...even at his slow pace. I am used to the treadmill, not running outside. I did run a little yesterday during the last half mile, and for the first time I felt like a runner. My movements felt fluid, and not all over the place. Everything seemed to feel natural, and not forced. I didnt run that far, but I had just covered almost 12 miles at that point and I was hurting a little from my left shoe, but I was not physically tired. Who knows what will happen on my next day off??
~Carrie
