Day 23
Today I was on the early shift (report time 530am). But I was done by 1136am so it wasnt so bad. After work, I flew over to Kinko's to print out my stuff for work. I havent set up my printer yet, and I didnt want to risk missing the application deadline. I have to say that I am pleased with how it came out. I happened to catch a glimpse of another already turned in application and mine was much more professional looking. After I turned my stuff in, I rewarded myself with Cherry Cheesecake. (NO I dont mean the real thing....) Although my tastebuds wish I did...I have been reading culinary mystery novels by Joanne Fluke and I love her series, even though it is fluff reading. Anyway, the newest book in the series is called, "Cherry Cheesecake Murder." I have been dying to get this book for months. Next month, another book comes out by Diane Mott Davidson (another culinary murder mystery writer) called, "Dark Torte." It's a good thing I cant cook or bake because I would put on 300 pounds trying out all the book recipes. I dont know what it is, but my fast food cravings are coming back BIG time. I have had to do some serious self talking to keep myself away from it. I was even trying to make excuses for why it wouldnt matter if I went once. Well I havent caved in, and I wont. I think it was the stress talking, and possibly a little lonliness mixed in there too. I do know that afterwards I never would have forgiven myself. Right now I am having trouble with my food choices and I am starting to gravitate towards some not so smart choices. I think once this week is over, that I will get back to my determined self. Right now, all my determination is sitting in a white lock box at the office waiting to be read and evaluated. I was feeling superconfident, and now I just want to break into that box and steal it back. If they have passed me up before, what's to stop them from doing it again? I swear I am my own worst enemy and I always find a way to sabotage myself. I have got to stop pulling that because if I dont, 214 is only a fast food binge away. I am betting I am somewhere in the 160's again, but I dont know.
On a lighter note (no pun intended), Idol is on tonight. I thought most of the guys did well last night. Ace, a favorite of mine didnt do so hot. Kevin has to go. There was somebody else, and I cant remember who. Chris D was awesome as usual. As for the women, Brenna and the blonde who called herself an AI Stalker both have to go. (My humble opinion). But with Idol, you never know what will happen. I am still scratching my head wondering how Constantine was booted before Scott Savol last season. Oh well, they have to keep people tuning in dont they?
Well tomorrow is Friday, and I guess I have to start over again and remind myself why I wanted to lose weight in the first place. I havent completely fallen overboard, but I am too close for comfort.
~Carrie
