Day 17
Well I am closing in on the end of Day 17. I gained a little back (no surprise here), so I am now 157.2. I guess that is the price I pay for weighing myself daily. But it keeps me honest. Tried the Vanilla Whey Protein Powder today. It was ok, but it is going to have to be an aquired taste, just like the chocolate was. The taste is not vanilla, and the consistancy is sticky but who am I to complain. As long as it does its job. Looks like I am going to have to make my daily stop at Giant Eagle. I am going through salad and yogurt like it is going out of style. It is really weird how you can actually change your taste preferances. I like this better than being a fast food slave. I shudder to think what I blew in a day, a week, a month on fast food. Argh. Probably as much as Hollywood starlets would spend on a Louis Vutton purse. (What is the lure of a $2,000 purse anyway? They all do the same thing.) I am starting to get weirded out everytime I look in the mirror. My face is really starting to change and I am wondering how much longer it is going to be before I look at my reflection, and instead of me looking back, I will be locking eyes with a complete stranger. For the second day in a row, I was called skinny at work. This kind of puzzles me, because I keep getting too small for my uniform so it just hangs on me, and because I feel like my stomach is so huge. I think this is partly because I have lost weight and inches elsewhere and my stomach and chest are the last to get with the program. But, I am still shy with compliments because it is so strannge to hear them. Now when people describe me, they tend to leave out the "chubby" part. (I think). Feels pretty good. But I kind of feel like an imposter because technically I am still in the obese category. That is such an ugly word, and I cant wait until I never have to hear it again. Wow, I am sitting here and I can actually feel my chestbone. Not that I ever specifically looked for it before. Guess the scale doesnt know everything. I can feel my ribcage too, but seeing it is another story. So glad the nice weather has come back, even though it is only for 2 days. Today I am going to take advantage, and go outside for a walk after dinner is done. Wish the trail was lit after dark, but then again it also becomes a safety issue, so I will stick to walking around the college campus. Well I seem to be rambling because I dont really have anything more interesting to add. No new updates with, "my guy." That is going to take some time. In the meantime, it is ME time. I want to blow him away the next time we see each other with the amount of progress I have made. I can take care of myself now, and I can take care of him too. Thank you for all the positive reinforcement. It has been a tough week, but I survived. I will spend more time answering your journals this coming week. But these past few days, I needed the extra time to find my smile again.
~Carrie