[Jules]

I don't blame my parents -but I do recognize how my reactions and emotions became tied up with my weight. My mom and I were really close and my dad and I weren't. Dad would constantly sit and eat a bowl of ice cream while telling my mom she didn't need to be eating anything else. He wanted the best for mo's health, but his method was all wrong. He would sometimes pinch her fat in front of everyone and tease her too.

To avoid his comments Mom and I learned to hide our "good" foods from him, stashing sweets under the couch if he came in the room or tossing a pillow over the bag, pretending we weren't doing anything. We even had a fake panel in the wall (for a security deposit box) where we'd hide food as we brought in the groceries so he wouldn't know the junk we bought. After he would go to bed was the worst -we'd pull out cheese and crackers, boxes of chocolates, ice cream and just eat and enjoy ourselves together. It was our bonding time and I began to associate sweets with love and food became emotional.

Today I still have weight problems but thankfully my fiance has discussed this "hiding foods" thing with me and I'm not going to let that happen in my relationships -with my future husband or my kids.

My parents didn't do anything on purpose and we generally ate fairly healthy meals (if too large), but they let their issues affect me and my sister. The only thing I blame them for is my genetic makeup, but it's my choice what I've done with it and my responsibility to care for my own person. Now I just want to help my mom, not blame her. And my dad has gotten much better over the years. They truly do love each other, despite the food games. It really helped when the Dr. put Dad on a diet for his health. (Walking a mile in another person's shoes...)