[muppet]

I don't want to be one of those people who sit and complain, but do nothing to make it better. And I've become one. I not very vocal about how I feel about my weight. I guess that's why I come on here.
Maybe I should be -- maybe that's what's missing. I'm not sharing my struggles with anyone, so I have no accountability.
I don't know, and I don't want any psychology 101 to try and figure out why I do what I do. Is there some deep psychological reason why I eat things I know I shouldn't, and quite honestly, don't ever really want? Why do I sabotage myself.
Well, I could ask Oprah, or Dr. Phil, but I don't think there is any one thing I could put my finger on. I refuse to blame anyone else for my issues. I had a happy, normal childhood. Not perfect -- far from perfect, but I didn't have to go through anything so traumatic that I could say -- this is where my issues come from.
I do have issues. Self-confidence, self-worth and two things that I am lacking. At least at this moment. But I think some of these bad feelings come from my failure to act responsibly, regarding my health.
I need to stop telling myself, 'I'll do better tomorrow', and just stop. Stop eating, stop trying to fill a void with food.
I don't know -- I hate all this emotional garbage. Maybe I'm just really that lazy, or spoiled, that I won't deny myself anything.
I don't need support and/or encouragement. I need to open my eyes to reality and to face it. I am fat, and I over- eat because of emotional issues. And these emotional issues cause me to over eat even more.
So, just don't. I am worth the effort. And I know once I start to get it, it will get easier. I will be proud of myself.
Right now I am not, and I think I just hit on the biggest issue right there. I'm not proud of myself.
So... I've got to change that.
What Have You Done Today To Make You Feel Proud?
uhh -- ate egg whites and whole grain toast for breakfast
went for a walk around a lake with my daughter
got a haircut
did not get anything at the Mcd''s drive thru when my daughter wanted a little something.
I didn't tell my daughter she shouldn't eat french fries because it will make her fat -- yes, I'm proud of that. She has a normal relationship with food. She can eat fries when she wants. I do not want my food issues to become hers.