[Trying4Thin]

A few days ago I remember sitting right where I am sitting right now and wondering aloud, "When God when?" I got my answer a few days later when my weight went down to a new recent low. (It was back up .5 today but it wasn't because I cheated and I know I can't weigh in everyday so I am not going to get upset over it). I think today was the fluke result and not the lower one because I look much smaller than what my junk scale says. I am still undereating by quite a few hundred calories. (I know I know, not good either) I tend to live at both ends of the spectrum as far as eating goes...too much or not enough. Right now there are other things in life that concern me more than food.
Yesterday was one I won't forget...As usual, I spent my 8 work hours driving around in a 206 mile circle jamming to the radio. But Thursday was different because I was also listening to stories of how long the lines were to get a 23 cent pizza at Papa John's. One of my supervisors said he got one and it only took like an hour and a half. WKDD said that during lunchtime lines in certain locations were around 3.5 to 4 hours long. Police were called to direct traffic and everyone was wondering how long supplies would hold out. This stunt made national news. Lines this long only occur during the holidays when hot items like Tickle Me Elmo, XBOX, and Cabbage Patch Kids hit the shelves. The last time I was in a line like that, I was at Logan International Airport with a book in hand. That said, I would have liked to have been there; not for the pizza but to watch these people wait, wait, and wait some more. They are either complete morons in PJ's marketing department (for orchestrating the LeBron shirt scam which lead to the boycot of their pizza) or complete genuises. But seeing how unbusy other pizza chains appeared to be yesterday, I'd say that Papa John himself is laughing all the way to the bank. But I digress....
It has become a joke between a few passengers and I about how often my phone rings while I am at work. It rings when I get a MySpace comment, emails from certain friends and family members, and regular calls. I missed a credit card payment and now they are calling non-stop which only makes me less eager to talk to them. So when my phone rang yesterday at 5:07 pm I was ready to pick it up and cuss them out. But I was on route and had passengers with me. I still picked it up to look at the caller ID and thought I was seeing things because it wasn't my credit card company. You know that sensation you get in your stomach and legs when you go into total shock? All I can say is that I am glad I was sitting down. I am also glad I didn't hit a tree. Not a minute later the phone rang again and again it wasn't my credit card company...I had just eaten lunch and I almost lost it from the instant butterfly nausea I was now feeling. For somebody who supposedly doesn't have feelings for me, HE called me not once but twice. The last time I emailed him was Tuesday. It was short and I didn't ask him anything. It was in response to something he had written me. The last time I called him I said I didn't want to see him right now, but maybe sometime in the future we could hang out. That was over 2 weeks ago. I have been using this time to really focus on myself and to also let the chips fall where they may without my help. This time they fell in my favor, and on their own. What was so important that he couldn't have emailed me? What was so important that he called twice in the span of 1 minute?? He didn't leave a message and I didn't bother calling him back when I was free because I knew he'd be tied up at work. I still have no idea what he wanted and I could really care less. The point is that for the first time in I can't remember how long, HE picked up the phone and called me first! Which begs the question...if I am so "not his type" why does he still have my number and WHY did he use it?? I will get back to him eventually but for right now I am not going to chase after him. He didn't leave a message, but he had time to dial me a second time, so he did really want to talk to me which would take more time that leaving a message. The point of this is not why, but the fact that he did at all...and right now that is good enough for me. It is a chance to start over again and I am not going to ruin it by asking unnecessary questions or pushing. This time the thought alone was enough because for at least 2 minutes yesterday I can prove he was thinking about me. Which begs the question, how many other times has he thought about me but not called?