[muppet]

I talked with my husband about my job and he has no problem if I decide to quit, which I think I will. I feel bad because I really like the manager, and I don't want to put her in a tough spot. But I think if I tell her I won't leave her high and dry maybe she'll feel better about it. I don't want to get her in trouble with the crazy owner, because she will probably say she didn't do a good enough job interviewing me. In reality, it was the owner who soured me on the place, but I'm sure you could come right out and say that, and it wouldn't sink in.
Eating has been quite bad. Another sign that this job is not the right one for me.... I am going to start going to the Y again. Even while I'm still working at the Curves. I guess they can let me go whenever they want. If they want my help till they find someone else, fine. But if they can't deal with me working out somewhere else, then I have no problem leaving.
The right job is out there. I don't mind not working though. I never seem to be bored. I think because my husband is working nights right now, and leaves a few hours before the kids come home from school -- I always feel like there's someone who needs me for something. I am, and will probably always be, first and foremost a Mom.


Again, this was my post at Weigh ins. I can't wait to put this behind me. I'm dealing with one child who is having a difficult time adjusting to our new home and town. By all appearances he's doing great -- grades are wonderful -- he's involved, he has friends, but he just misses his old friends so much sometimes, it overwhelms him. He is talking to a psychologist who is giving him things to do to try and help him deal with these sad feelings he has. They aren't going to put him on any anti-depressants, at least she didn't think that would be necessary. I was glad to hear that, but when he gets down, he gets really down. It sucks all the life out of me as well. It's very hard for me to understand, but when he feels bad, he turns to me, and I try to do my best to do the right thing for him. I'm not sure what that is. I just listen. But I get upset too, and start to feel bad because I feel like we messed things up for him by moving, and that just makes him feel worse. So I try to not show it, but my heart feels like it's made of lead when he's feeling bad. It feels so heavy and I can feel happiness sinking..... draining out of me.
I don't know really how to explain it, but it's exhausting. And this is where I need to be, taking care and focusing on my family.
This boy is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. I'm not just saying that because I'm his mom. I've heard it from so many people. And he's normally so happy -- I think he's grieving, just like you would if you lost a loved one, but he's not used to feeling so sad and doesn't know how to deal with these feelings. I think the psychologist has helped and will continue to help him. And I know in time things will get better. This just doesn't feel like home yet, but it will. Next fall he will be a sophomore. That's going to help too. Doesn't freshman year suck for everyone in some ways?
But anyway -- thanks for listening to whoever reads this. It really helps to get this off of my chest.