[muppet]

I don't like feeling bad about myself. I'm not waiting for life to become enjoyable again, once I lose 40 pounds.....
I'm enjoying life right now. I don't hate how I look. I with I was slimmer -- especially in my belly, but it's not like I refuse to go out, or hide in oversized clothes. I like my curves--- most of them anyway!
Life won't be suddenly perfect if I'm wearing a size 8. All my problems won't be solved. I would be healthier, if I got that way through healthy diet and exercise.
But it is not about size and weight for me. I would like to be smaller and to weigh less, but it doesn't consume me, and I'm not going to apologize for being over weight. I'm doing what I can to, right now, to try and remedy this. I truly believe someday I will succeed.

This is what I posted on my weigh ins page. And, as I told a friend there, it's largely due the person who is currently my employer. She would not accept my answers to questions about why I care about fitness. For me, as you may already know, it's about more that weight or size. It's about being strong and healthy. I know to truly be healthy, I need to drop some weight, but I also know that exercise is doing me good, even if I don't.
I did not like this woman. She is the owner if the Curves where I just started working. She wanted an answer like 'I want to be a size 8 for my nieces' wedding in November'. Well, I don't do that. That kind of think works for some people, but then after they reach their goal and the big event is over, they start reverting back to told habits. I've seen it many many times and may have even been guilty of it as well. But I don't do that anymore. I want to do what's best for my body, and then my body's size and shape will improve accordingly. If I'm not meant to be a size 8, then I'm not.... whatever. I can feel good at any size, and even feel good now, at a size 14. This woman really tried hard to make me feel bad about myself. I think she thinks she is a psychologist or something, but I'm probably had more psychology classes than her, so it wasn't working on me.
This lady lives far away, and doesn't come around much, but I don't see how I can be part of a program that I'm not completely sold on.
They also don't want me to work out at the Y anymore, which I can understand. But if you really care about women and their health, you should know that variety is the best thing, so mixing Curves with the Y, and then adding walking and biking, is probably the best. Just Curves? Only Curves? Why? They don't discourage walking or biking or anything, but I don't think they should discourage any kind of physical fitness.
So I need to talk to my manager tomorrow. As I told my friend on Weigh ins, it's just a low paying part time job. I don't know that it's worth it. I really like the manager, and the ladies who come to work out, and the other women than work there. But if I listen to my heart, it's really not there.