[Trying4Thin]

I think I have finally realized why I have to take this journey on my own. I heard a story last night of a man watching a caterpillar struggling inside it’s cocoon during metamorphisis. He (with nothing but good intentions) helped the creature out of his cocoon before it was ready. As a result, it didn’t complete its transformation and returned back to what it was before. It wasn’t ready for it’s new life as something beautiful. Something can’t change before it is really ready and it can’t be forced to change. You can’t achieve full metamorphisis if you don’t go through all the trials and struggles in between. In the event that it does occur, the metamorphisis won’t last long because the good that has happened will be taken for granted and history will repeat itself. I know because I speak from experience. I secretly resented the heck out of a certain person for not helping me as much as he could have with my current struggles. But by NOT helping me, he did me an even larger favor. It’s ok because sooner or later, the end will justify the means. I finally understand that now. Sometimes the hardest lessons we must learn are the ones that are the toughest to live through. I’m finally ready to toss my past behind me and start over again. I no longer hold that grudge because it weakens me. Instead I will use it to power me forward. The past 14 years have been really hard, but I see now that they are shaping me into the woman that I am supposed to become. Yes I am struggling and hurting right now, but in the end it will all be worth it when I see how far I will have come on my own. If you want something to happen, get up and do something about it. Don’t just sit there idly by feeling sorry for yourself while life just passes on. Take control of what you can and let God handle the rest.