[muppet]

I really suffered last night. I think it may have been the kick in the head that I needed, or the bottom I needed to hit. I didn't think I had over eaten that badly, but I suffered all night with terrible heartburn.
It's really bad -- nothing helps, aside from making myself throw up. I have done that in the past to alleviate the pain, so I could get to sleep, but I wouldn't do it last night. That is equally as unpleasant.
I also wanted to literally burn this feeling into me -- into my brain, so next time I'm tempted to over-do it, I'll remember the price I'll have to pay.
Heartburn sounds like such a minor thing, and for many people it is, but I've had it often before. Eating right, and losing some weight made the problem disappear. I know it's back, not because of one night of poor eating, but the poor decisions I've been making on a regular basis lately.
I don't know why it seems like I can only focus on one thing. But I've heard other people say they have this problem too. You eat right, you let the exercise slide. You workout, you eat poorly.
I know I have the strength and intelligence to do both.
I think I might focusing a little bit too much on the workouts, if that's possible. I don't think I was working out especially hard, but I was making it a big priority. I still need to do that, but something has to give, so I can make proper diet as big of a priority.
I've got to do both.
This winter SUCKS. Every week we have some kind of nasty weather event. It's making it difficult to get a routine going. But I don't want to make excuses. It's not the weather's fault. I have plenty of exercise options right here at home. I also have plenty of good food choices.
I've been watching a show on discovery Health called X weighted. It's on every day, and it's a different person's 6 month weight loss journey. It's good because it's very real. But it's also discouraging because very seldom does anyone reach their goal.
There are lots of people like me on it, who do OK for awhile, but then can't seem to really break old habits. I think they ( and me) don't really want to, or it's scary to make too big of a change.
But people do have success, if they eat properly and if they move their bodies. It's not dramatic. But I watch it because I think I need to see that dose of reality. I need to work both sides of this puzzle and I need to be realistic in my goals.
Sigh -- as bad as it was, maybe my killer heartburn was a gift. A wake-up call, to get me back on the right road.
I don't know what I'm going to do for a workout today, but I will do something.