[Trying4Thin]

Ok so I am starting again tomorrow. And this time I am going to finish. I moved some livingroom furniture around today and my lower back isn't too thrilled with me. Oh well. Stocked up on decent things to eat so I wont make poor choices; which I often seen to do when I am depressed, rushed, starving, or just bored.

I want to feel good about myself again. And there is a small part of me who wants to shove it back in the faces of those who doubted me. People who have never had a food addiction or weight problem have no freaking clue what this is like.

The worst part isn't going to be going back to the gym and sweating. It's going to be going back and feeling embarrassed since I blew up again after working so hard before. I am not a failure but I feel like one.

I also want my self confidence and self esteem back. Nobody decent will even give me a shot if my head is always pointed downward in shame. Plus when I feel lousy about myself the whole world can see it. I have had enough of being single, enough of wearing tent sizes, and enough of feeling physically whipped. This cloud that has been following me around for the past years has taken all of my dreams away; and I will be damned if I let it continue to do so.

You can follow my progress on Weighins.com under Trying4Thin