[Trying4Thin]

I'm back for good. I really wish I had never left. Perhaps if I had stayed I wouldnt be back over 200 again. That changes here and now. It's great to see you guys again. When I get a second; I am going to start tracking everyone down because even the strongest cant do it alone. I thought I was cured. Only months ago I was in a size 10 jeans, could actually run outside (woohoo!), and I was lifting at home. I want that back and maybe I will have a chance at a better life for myself. I am going to force myself to stop thinking about Eric as much as I do and put any thoughts on a shelf for God to wrestle with. Maybe then things would change if I quit caring so darn much and he could see that I was a good friend first. I cant force him to like me. His biggest problem is that he feels pressured; even though I havent even said anything about a relationship since July 4th. At the rate I am going; it's not looking like it's going to happen anyway. I am going to kick friends out of my life who say hurtful things that arent even true. (Nobody here.) Justin Timberlake may have brought; "sexy back." But I am bringing sweaty and stinky back. It's what I do best.