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Thanks for the good wishes, Carrie. The cortisone shots seem to be calming down the pain somewhat. There is less constant achiness. The pain that comes from doing any sort of activity is just as bad as before, though. In fact, my knee seems to feel worse now when I'm walking, especially on stairs, and it feels like it's going to give way and not hold me up. It's a scary feeling. I'm going to call the doctor's office again tomorrow (Monday) to let him know about this change in how my knee feels. I'm also going to ask him to go ahead and set me up for an MRI of my shoulder to be sure whether or not there's anything serious going on with my rotator cuff. If it's torn and needs surgery, I'd rather know about it sooner than later.
One of the times I was seeing the doctor last week, I mentioned that my weight loss has pretty much stalled since I haven't been as active lately. He said it's not impossible to lose weight when you can't exercise, it's just harder because you really have to watch every calorie. Well, I've taken that to heart, and I'm redoubling my efforts to eat right. I've been eating a lot more fruits and vegetables the last few days, and less of everything else.
Last night I had a frank talk with my best friend. I've mentioned her here before. She is very obese...she is about 5' 6" and I would not be surprised if her weight is close to 400 lbs these days. She can barely walk, and she's going to have a knee replacement this summer, the second one on the same knee because the first one five years ago did not work. She was over for dinner last night and, even though I served really healthy stuff, she still made bad choices...having my kids' ranch dressing instead of the vinaigrette, polishing off the last of the bread and butter, etc.
After the kids left the table and we were alone, I asked her what she is going to do about her weight, and she cried. I felt awful about that, but I am her best friend, and if I can't broach the subject with her, who can?
She has long taken the position that until she can figure out why she overeats, she can't lose the weight. I told her that, from the standpoint of a recovering alcoholic, that seems backwards to me. I had to get sober first and then start solving the psychological/emotional issues that had caused me to drink. If I had waited to solve the emotional problems first, I would never have gotten sober. I asked her to consider that she may need to forget about understanding why she overeats, at least initially, if she's going to ever lose any weight.
I asked her whether she would reconsider the idea of lap-band surgery, even though her insurance won't cover it. She's shocked at the prospect of paying $10,000 or more for surgery, but I know she pisses away more than that much money every year trying to make herself feel better because of her obesity. I told her that if she ever wants to go to one of those hospital information sessions about bariatric surgery, I will go with her.
I have absolutely no expectation that my friend will do anything differently as a result of our talk. I have nothing emotionally invested in whether she does or doesn't. But sometimes I just have to speak my truth...or ask the questions that are in my heart, and this was one of those times. It was very impromptu...I had no intention of confronting her in any way, I just felt like it was the right time, in that moment, to ask her what she's going to do. I hope she will someday be able to get beyond the answer, "I don't know."
For you who are of the praying persuasion, please join me in praying for Helen.
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