Well my weight is slowly going back down again. I am sitting at 164 right now. As long as I am in the mid-low 150's by the time I go home; I will be ok. Starting Saturday I am going to start pounding on myself again. The students will be gone for the summer and I will be able to walk around without the fear of being honked/yelled at. That drives me nuts. The weather is supposed to continue to be beautiful; so there will be no excuses not to be outside doing something. People keep telling me how much weight I have lost and it is rather awkward for me because I have gained quite a bit of it back. 18.8 to go before I am where I was in October. I am going to TRY and lose 10 of those pounds by May 25th. Starting tomorrow I am going to force myself to distance run again. I must get my endurance back. If I am lucky; I will be able to run with Eric by Fall for 5 miles.
On Weds I called Eric to continue the conversation from Tuesday night. He didnt answer so I left a message for him to call me back. I dont know why I bother because he never does. So I went to the computer to distract myself. I had my headphones on and didnt even hear the phone ring an hour later. So when I saw that he had called back I was shocked. No message; but it was a small step in the right direction. I am actually glad that I didnt hear the phone because right now our relationship is very fragile and I need to be careful how I phrase things. So I took it as a sign that I needed to go over in my head what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. I wrote him an email the other day and I was pretty pleased with it. I said what I wanted to say and I left the extra junk out of it. I ment what I said about keeping the topic of "us" out of our conversations. It is getting easier; but I am still struggling. It's just very difficult when you arent with the one person in the world that you want to be with more than anything. I really wish I were back on days again because that was when everything "just worked." I had more of a chance to see Eric because of our schedules. I could make sure I got to the gym and the equipment I wanted. And now everything is just jumbled. We are going to be getting new routes again soon and I have a feeling that I am going to be stuck on nights again. I like the people and the route; but the time just flat out sucks and doesnt work for me. But I have an excellent benefits plan and so I cant really complain. But I wish it was the way it was before and I could do everything I wanted instead of sleeping half the day away and then having to spend the other half at work. I have to do what is best for me and if that means trying to get back on mornings; I will do it. Even if I hate the new route; I have to put ME first for once.
My Yankee Candle collection is expanding again; and more are on the way. They keep my mind off of everything (my weight, my job, Eric etc.). It is nice to have a pasttime that is so relaxing. I like things that smell nice and Yankee are the best in candles. They even smell good still wrapped and unburned. I am going to get a Roasted Coffee Jar for my father since he is a coffee nut. I havent figured out what scent to get my mother. I got some Chocolate Bar votives in the mail 2 days ago; but they dont smell good enough to impress a die hard choco-holic. For their anniversary I am going to get them a huge variety of tropical votives. I cant afford a trip anywhere; so a scented trip is the next best thing.
Not much else to report.