[Trying4Thin]

I am so depressed right now I dont even care about my weight or how much I lost this week. So instead of spending my night alone (as per usual); I am going to go to the gym and work out until I throw up. I just dont want to hurt anymore emotionally. Being fat has ruined everything I ever wanted and dreamed for myself and I am not going to stop until every last scrap of it is gone. It made me into somebody that I am not and cost me the one person that I have ever truly loved. Now I am going to be alone and miserable the rest of my life because I am unloveable and I dont trust anyone. It doesnt matter if anyone else ever did want me; as long as it isnt Eric I dont want them anywhere near me. People who say that food isnt a drug are full of crap. Binge eating is an addiction disorder. Like illegal drugs; it finds it's way into your life and system and tears everything you ever loved to shreads.