[Trying4Thin]

Thanks

It's just really difficult when everyone is always telling me to give up on Eric. There are times I wish I could; but I just cant. They seem to think I have a choice. But in my mind I dont. I love him with all my heart and that is just how it is. I was really starting to like myself again and think positively (when I was 145 and I looked damn good); but then I saw a horrible number on the scale (again) and I wonder how I could have let myself go yet again. If the weather is good this week; I will be getting my new car. I thought Eric wanted to see it. He actually said he was really excited via email; but he never came out and said that he wanted to actually see it. Now I am relieved because I dont want him to see me like this. Because he would know that I wasnt happy. But an email or a phone call wouldnt kill him. I guess he is afraid I havent changed and he is keeping his distance. Cant say that I blame him. I have no choice but to get back on track, get to where I really look beautiful and feel 100% confident about myself and then see if we can get together sometime.