[Trying4Thin]

Trust me; the last thing I want to do is eat because I feel like crap. Food ultimately ruined my life and a chance with "the forever guy." If I hadnt been fat; I wouldnt have acted the way I did in the beginning. I would have been ready for a relationship. But it wasnt just the weight. Guys I like just never like me back. All I want to do now is workout and sleep because that is all I have left. He is just a walking contradiction. How can he wish he had feelings for me but not want to get closer because then he will have them (manufactured or not). And then he tells me he doesnt want to have feelings for me. I am seriously done with men forever. I am not kidding.
Ironically enough; I just found out that I weigh less than I thought I did (I told him I was 150 when he asked but later found out it was lower). Granted it was a different time of day; but the scale was down. I really thought I was 150. A broken heart is a great diet pill substitute.