Hey, I really like the title of your journal. It makes me feel like I'm reading something that will expand my mind. Oops-- sorry -- didn't mean to put any pressure on you!
I'm really glad you decided to start a journal. It's really helpful for YOU, and can also be helpful for others. You just never know.
So your husband doesn't want you to take the kids out at night? Does he have a valid reason, or is he just trying to be a pain? I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume he has genuine concerns. You'll have to correct me if I'm wrong.
Is there a compromise you could reach? Could you split your workouts and do half at home? You know-- a workout DVD or something....
Even if he is being unreasonable, a little compromise on your part might make him feel like he's won, and therefore maybe he'll be a little more supportive.
But hey, I don't know. That's really a silly game to be playing. But this whole journey will be easier for you, if there's harmony at home, rather than continuous conflict. Do what you have to do --and stick to your guns, and do what's right for YOU!!!
That's why so many gyms have child care. To make it easier for moms, who have a hard enough time giving any time to themselves. This doesn't put any one else out -- it's the most guilt free, convenient way to do it, since the kids are in the same building as you.
Keep us posted.