Well after losing my appetite for a while it came back last night after my workout. But I decided it was too late to eat so I just went home, checked in here, watched Rockstar Supernova and passed out. Gained a 1/2 pound today. It hurts; but it will be gone for sure by Friday. (Could also be muscle weight too). I will make it go away. More compliments today on how I look. People keep calling me skinny. There was a comment made this morning that I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming over. I bought some magazines to read for my layovers. One of them was called, "Simple & Delicious." One of my friends came over and said I might want to flip the magazine over since all you could see in the driver window was me and then written in large letters...Delicious. She then said something about me getting a date because of it. Talk about wanting to haul off and punch somebody's lights out. I know what she was getting at; (and it wasnt supposed to be taken how I took it), but it really peeved me off. Just because you are fat doesnt mean that you are totally undateable. I have seen HUGE women and men dating and looking happy. I see guys checking me out now, I am not FAT (as I was), and I could be dating if I really really wanted to. Gone are the days of the repulsive me. I dont think people quite know how to act around the new me. Heck I dont even know how to act in my new skin. Something else weird happened today when I went in for my weigh in. The manager and two counselors were all sitting up front when I walked in. I was bombarded with compliments about my makeup when I walked in. The next thing I heard was..."she's going to interview," and "she told me she wanted to work here." I was still reeling from the fact that they could see my makeup from outside the building and I wasnt really getting the rest of the conversation. But I knew they were talking about me applying. Curious about why that came up because it sounded like there was more to the conversation that was said before I opened the door. If they didnt think I could hack it; I doubt they would have still been on topic when I got to the desk. Lots to think about now. Still no email from Eric. Still wishing and hoping that he has been too busy to read his email right now; and not that he is just ignoring me. When I hit the 120's he will be speechless. Front desk hottie will be closing tonight so I have more incentive to go and beat the stuffing out of myself tonight. Sitting down this morning I saw an incredible amount of muscle definition in my legs. Still some fat; but the definition is undeniable. I have to keep reminding myself that I, and I alone put it there. I am also seeing more cheekbones and less chin. Also very happy that my butt wasnt sore from level 14 last night. I must really be getting conditioned. I have asked off for time in November to fly home for Turkey day. They have an LA Center near my house so I dont have to miss an appointment while I am gone; or worry about dragging my LA Lites on the plane only to have them melt. If I lose 2 pounds a week from now until my trip I will make goal. I am going to try and fly out on November 21st. I really really want to be at goal this year so I can feel comfortable seeing my entire family and not just a select few. One day they will know and understand why I did what I did...
