[muppet]

I have to find that balance. That place where I'm strict enough with myself, and won't accept any excuses for poor eating choices, or lack of exercise, but where I also don't beat myself up for making the occasionaly poor choice, and skipping the workout.
I guess for me, if I tell myself, 'once in awhile is ok', then 'once in a while' becomes 'all the time', without me ever realizing it.
I think that's what my problem is right now.
It also seems that when I do really good with exercise, I slack on eating right, and when I'm eating right, then I slack off a bit on the exercise. Just imagine if I could get it all together!!!
I don't want to become obsessed, and I don't want to let this rule my life, but in a way, it has to, or I won't ever be successful. This is a reality that I really don't want to face yet. I know that little changes work, but they aren't going to get me the results I want.
So, I have to decide -- do I really want to alter my lifestyle, to get the results I want, or do I want to keep plugging away the way I have been, which is benefiting me, but not as much as I would like. Or I should say, not enough to improve my health, statistically.
GAH!! I don't want it to be this way! I simply can't make myself special food all the time. It's just not practical with a family. But I can give myself smart choices. I can limit my portions. I was doing all this a couple of years ago, and I did lose weight. So I know it works. I have to think about it, all the time. Every bite I put in my mouth -- I have to evaluate-- is it good for me? Do I want it just because it tastes good? Am I really hungry? Are the amount of calories worth the short amount of time I'll actually enjoy it???
I've just got to face it, and accept it. I've got to go at it, full bore, in order for the fat to come off.
So, my brain knows it. I just have to follow through, and listen to my brain, not my emotions.
This isn't something I can do half way, or part time. It's a full time commitment.
I suppose you can see that I keep repeating myself. I'm hoping that if I keep typing it, and keep thinking it, that I'll be able to accept what I have to do, and DO IT!
Hope you're all having a spectacular weekend!
Carol